


Teacher what cha' gonna do?

by ArieHolmesJr



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Arc Reactor, BAMF Nick Fury, But its more like love in disguise, Christmas, Depression, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, Fluff, Food, Hate, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Manipulative Nick Fury, Masturbation, Nick Fury Lies, OC kid - Freeform, Pepper is worried, Piano, Relationship Issues, Sexting, Sexual Tension, Singing, Smut, Steve Has Issues, Steve is worried too, Steve isnt well, Teacher Tony, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony is worried sick, Wet Dream, but then it gets slightly better, death?, or not?, so angsty, so much love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:18:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 82,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArieHolmesJr/pseuds/ArieHolmesJr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is in his last year in college which means he will soon graduate. Unfortunately, on the first day he learns that he has a new Statistics teacher- who is an asshole by the way -and things quickly turn in a way he didn't expect.</p><p> <br/>GUYS. GUYS GUYS GUYS.<br/>IM HERE. 07/07/2015<br/>IM SORRY. I LOVE YOU ALL. ITS BEEN SO LONG. Im sobbing, I need to finish this. I will. Can't tell when, but I will<br/>Have faith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve waved at Clint and Natasha with a wide smile and turned to walk to his next classroom. Statistics. A course he had to take in order to graduate, even though it seemed really boring and he didn't really see how it would help him in the future. With some other classmates he knew a little, he walked towards the room ... and froze in the door frame, like all the others. For a moment, they stared unblinking at the teacher sitting in his chair, feet settled on the desk and a Starbucks coffee in his hand. There were a few other cups on his desk. 

"You're coming in or not?"

Steve was the first to emerge from his stupor and walk in the room. He chose a desk in the front row and cast a glance at the teacher. The man seemed a few years older than Steve probably. Steve frowned. That man certainly was not the real teacher, he looked young and, well, way too good, according to Steve. He had pictured an old man, after the name on his schedule. Instead, he had in front of him a weird kind of super model or whatever. The teacher finally stood up and gulped down the rest of his coffee. 

"Damn it, there are really eighteen of you?! They said I'd get a small class ... Alright welcome to Stats, aka fucking stupid subject that isn't even real maths. Before you ask any question, I don't know what happened to your teacher. Maybe he poked a stick at a grizzly bear when he last went camping or he tried to get his toast out with a fork ... But now I'm the new teacher."

He rolled his eyes as someone raised his hand.

"What's your name and how old are you?"

"I'm Tony Stark. Did you know that it's not very polite to ask a teacher's age? I did it once and I got spanked- or maybe it's because I blew the lab up -Anyway, my point is, do you want me to spank you with that freaking huge syllabus until you can't sit anymore? No? Well I'm thirty and I hope that was your last question of the year."

This response triggered a ton of comments among the students.

"Do you have the qualifications, man? You can't possibly be the teacher, you don't look like one."

"I graduated from MIT at nineteen with two PhDs. Engineering and physics. Yep, I'm a genius, you'll get used to it. From now on you will refer to me as 'Sir' or 'Mr Stark'. I won't tolerate affronts in here."

Steve bit his lip. It was impossible. He raised his hand before blurting out:

"Impossible. That would mean you entered MIT at-"

"Fifteen, yeah."

Tony raised one hand, showing everybody his ring finger. Everybody could now cast a surprised look at his Brass Rat. A golden MIT class ring, and judging by its look, it was not a so recent one. At least ten years old or something, 'cause everybody knows they change the ring a little every year.

"Suck on that" 

Steve was, like most of the students, stunned. Nobody tried to argue again and the silence fell on the class. Tony didn't even crack a smile and only grabbed a pile of books, throwing loudly a syllabus on each desk while walking between the rows. When he was done, he returned to the front of the class and sat on the corner of his own desk. 

"You, tall blond in the front row. Yeah, you. Read page 2."

Steve quickly opened his book and looked at the second page. 

"One important use of descriptive statistics is to summarize a collection of data in a clear and understandable way. There are two basic methods: numerical and graphical. Using the numerical approach one might compute statistics such as the mean and standard deviation. Using the graphical approach one might create a stem and leaf display and a box plot. For example-"

"Cut short, Blondie. Move on to page 3."

Frowning, Steve turned the page and started reading again.

"Inferential statistics are used to draw inferences about a population from a sample. There are two main methods used in inferential statistics: estimation and hypothesis testing. In estimation, the sample is used to estimate a parameter and a confidence interval about the estimate is constructed. In the most common use of hypothesis testing, a 'straw man' null hypothesis is put forward and it is determined whether the data are strong enough to reject it. For exam-"

"Great! How boring was that! Any questions so far?"

Everybody understood that it was a rhetorical question. Steve wanted to ask why he had to skip the examples. Isn't it what helps people understand, usually? But just like the others, he didn't say a word. A thousand questions were running through his mind. Why was Mr. Stark here when he seemed to hate the subject and only have a very faint interest in teaching? The teacher clearly didn't expect any questions and kept looking at the coffee waiting on his desk as if its appeal was irresistible. What kind of teacher was that? Why him and not someone competent for the job? 

The teacher grabbed another cup of coffee and took a long sip. He then turned on his laptop and in a few clicks, he opened a PowerPoint full of definitions projected on the white screen in front of the class so the students could copy the notes. Steve fumbled for some paper and quickly started writing. For the next few minutes, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. There was only the scratching noises of the pencils on the paper and the noises Tony made while texting. Fucking texting in the middle of a class, sitting at his desk and barely keeping an eye on the students to know when he should change the slide. Steve finally dropped his pencil and looked around him. Everybody was done but no one spoke to let Tony know. They were mostly waiting for him to notice. Steve used that moment to look more closely at the teacher. He was annoying as hell with his lack of interest and his weird teaching methods, but gosh, he was totally hot. He had gorgeous chocolate brown eyes and messy brown hair and his goatee somehow gave him a lot more sex appeal, although he already had a lot. Steve found himself unable to look away, his eyes following the curve of Tony's strong jaw. Suddenly, Tony's lips parted into the most beautiful smile Steve had ever seen and for a second he almost felt sorry that he didn't put it there. He stared for what felt like hours until, all of a sudden, the man raised his head and locked eyes with Steve. For a long minute, they stared at each other. The class held its breath. 

"What is it that you want, handsome?"

Steve flushed immediately and swallowed hard. Alright, flirting. He could do with flirting, just give him a moment to adjust to this man, gosh...

"We're done, _Doctor_  Stark ..."

Tony blinked with surprise as the class burst in laughter. Of course, Steve had taken advantage of the situation since Tony was pretty show off with his two PhDs. The man quickly regained composure and looked at the rest of the class. He then nodded and closed the PowerPoint, to Steve's surprise. That was it? No more notes? There were still twenty minutes left and they surely didn't copy all the slides. So why was the man turning the projector off?

"Thank god I went through more than the half of this class ... Class dismissed, see ya all tomorrow!"

Steve's eyebrows shot up in astonishment. An awkward silence followed Tony's words, then everybody stood up in a single movement and, books under their arms, they headed for the door. Steve took all his time to gather his stuff and stood up, slowly walking to the teacher's desk. He waited for Tony to notice his presence and once the man dared looking up at him, Steve was instantly speechless. He lost himself in those big brown eyes and struggled to regain impassivity. If Tony was annoyed, he did not let it show and waited patiently for the tall blond to formulate actual words.

"What was that?"

"What was  _what?_ "

"That class. Why are you even here if obviously you don't want to?"

"Listen, Blondie..."

"Steve. Steve Rogers."

"Right, listen Steve ... Not my choice to be here. They didn't ask me if I was pleased with it. They said you're gonna teach that fucking course and shut your mouth. So you'd better shut yours and wrap your head around the idea. If you want to drop the course, feel free to do so."

Drop the course? Of course not, Steve was not a quitter. He would not give up so easily and if he had to endure Tony Stark for a whole year in order to graduate, he would certainly do it. Without replying anything, he just shook his head and left the classroom in silence. He could swear Tony's gaze had followed him until he had closed the door behind him. 

 

 ~~

 

Steve elbowed Clint and rolled his eyes. They were both sitting in the living room, Clint with the laptop on his lap. 

"What? We'll just google him and if he's some kind of nobody then nothing's gonna happen. We'll just maybe find his facebook or whatever, it's not like it's forbidden to look up for someone on the internet ... It's not, right?"

"He's my teacher Clint, that's just awkward. What if he finds out?"

Clint literally burst in laughter and for the next minute, he couldn't even reply. Steve frowned and pushed him a little harder, annoyed by the fact that his friend didn't seem to take his concern seriously. Steve wasn't sure what to think of Tony and really, if he was that bright, maybe he was able to know somehow who googled his name. That was a creepy thought, but hey, he couldn't help it.

"So, Tony Stark, huh? Let's see..."

Clint typed the name and suddenly his eyes went wide.

"29,000,000 results? Who the hell is that guy!?"

"Maybe there's like a famous guy with the exactly same name. This asshole can't possibly be so popular. Images, look at the images."

And so did Clint. Steve's jaw dropped instantly when he recognized his statistics teacher, standing proudly with way too much ease and charisma, smiling in an adorable way or smirking as if he knew just how attractive he was. It was probably the case. Most of the pictures showed him with expensives suits and unaffordable sunglasses-- Seriously, who would pay three hundred dollars for sunglasses? Really? Well, Tony Stark obviously and Steve could just stare and think that, Jesus, this guy was a total freak and  _also_  a sort of celebrity! There was that image of a magazine cover showing Tony and a man both Steve and Clint couldn't recognize, with the title 'THE NEW KID Tony Stark takes reins at 21'. 

"Takes reins of what?"

"Dunno... Wait. Tony Stark ... Could it be... Tony Stark as in Howard Stark as in Stark Industries?!"

A few minutes later, they were done their little research. So it turned out that Anthony Edward Stark was the CEO of Stark Industries. The guy lost his parents in a car accident when he was eighteen ... And now he was the owner of such a big company and ... a stats teacher. How come a genius billionaire with such a promising future ended up teaching math to a bunch of students in art program? That was something they would probably never know. It's not like Steve was going to ask Tony about his personal life, plus he had already said that he wasn't doing this because he wanted to. That was enough for now.

"Maybe he does deserve to be called 'Mr Stark' in fact. Damn..."

"Don't let him be a jerk with you even if he could probably ruin your life in a blink of an eye and two or three phone calls! I mean, if it wasn't for his overdeveloped brain or whatever, or for his father's company, or well the fact that he's thirty, he would be a student like everybody else and you'd be able to beat the crap out of him for being a dick. Not that you would do it but you see my point?"

"I... No. I don't think so. Well I do but-- Just drop it. I'll just act as if he was a normal teacher. An hour a day with him isn't too much of a big deal, right?"

 

~~

 

Well apparently it was.

Tony was there the next morning, with only one cup of coffee this time. Oh! There were already two empty ones in the garbage. Steve went to his place and everybody did the same before the bell rang. Tony stretched and stood up, grabbing a stack of sheets.

 "Pop quiz! Put your books away, I don't want anything but your pencils on your desks! This is just a way for me to determine the average IQ of your class and what kinds of people you are. This won't count for much but I'll still grade it so you'd want to answer properly. You've got twenty minutes to do it."

This was the best way to have everybody complain, Steve thought. A pop quiz on the second class? A pop quiz on what? They hadn't learned anything so far except a few definitions they only had copied without really paying attention. Tony knew it and only waited for the class to shut up, a dirty look on his face, looking totally serious about this. Those who expected him to laugh and reassure them that it was only a joke would be frustrated. Once the calm returned, Tony distributed the sheets and went back to his desk. This time he wasn't texting, just looking at them intensely with his arms crossed and an unreadable expression on his face. Steve gulped and looked at his quiz. Five questions. He looked at the first one and was immediately taken aback, unable to retain a confused little exclamation.

"This isn't about stats at all!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" _  
_

Steve could tell by the tone of his voice that Tony was mocking him, only nobody cracked a smile at the joke, Tony being the only one looking amused. 

"Have you seen the questions?! We won't be done in twenty minutes!" a girl complained.

"I did it in twenty minutes just fine. Just use those little brains of yours and stop wasting precious time asking stupid questions," was Tony's only reply.

Sure, he did it just fine. _He_ , as in ' _I am so genius that I graduated from MIT at nineteen_ '. Steve already knew that he had a great chance of failing this quiz and he wasn't used to that. Failing tests. He was a good student, always on task, doing his best. Well today, his best wouldn't be enough, certainly. Steve sighed and started reading the first question and thinking about it. He could feel Tony's piercing gaze on him at times and it was much distracting. He felt as if the teacher was studying him and could see how he was struggling to find an answer to these stupid questions that made no sense. A few minutes later, Steve tensed when Tony's chair creaked as he stood up and even without looking up Steve knew the man was walking between the rows to look at what they were writing. Instantly, the blond tried to cover his first answer with his arm as naturally as possible and pretended to be in deep reflection when Tony stopped beside him to peek over his shoulder. He could hear him breathing, way too close, but fortunately the teacher pulled back after a couple of seconds and walked away. 

"Eyes on your sheet, Ken!"

Ken? Everybody looked up with surprise. Tony was staring at a brown-haired guy sitting next to a blond girl with way too much make up.

"You. The tanned with the stupid look on your face. Listen, just keep your eyes on your sheet, would ya? You won't find the answer in Barbie's thong. Except maybe for question four."

Steve frowned and returned to his own copy, reading number four. 'What is Heaven like?'. A little smile reached his lips even though he felt like this question didn't have its place in a math quiz. 

"As for you, Barbie, I'd rather not see that your thong is dark red with lace trim. Well obviously I don't really mind seeing it but as far as I'm concerned I'm your teacher so this is inappropriate and I could get in trouble for looking at you that way, which means you'd be nice to cover it. By the way, we never had this conversation or you all get a zero. Now everybody back to work."

This time, he earned some laughter and smirked in a way that made a girl in the back of the class nearly faint. Some guys rolled theirs eyes- Steve was one of them -and they went back to their quiz. Nothing to do with math, really, and those questions didn't even have good or bad answers. Everything was relative, a matter of opinion and vision. Steve decided at this very moment that, well, maybe he couldn't be sure to get all good answers, but he would make this fun to read and still try to be logical. A good laugh could maybe earn him some points?

 

~~

 

Tony threw his head back with a groan. What an idea, giving the students a pop quiz. He could no longer correct their exasperating answers. It seemed they were all incapable and they had nothing in the brain. Even with questions like this, they could not manage to give a proper reply, something that actually made sense and wasn't all about getting laid or about stuff some five year old boys would talk about. How old were those students, really? It was hopeless.

"I really gotta teach a bunch of losers, you've got to be kidding me... Jarvis, add Keaton Pyle to the 'Kindergarden dicks' folder and Ashley Dunbar to the 'Superficial bitches' one."

He tossed both corrected quizzes on the pile on his left and sank back in his chair, bringing his red pen to his mouth to chew absently at it.

"May I suggest you find better folder names since it is your students you are classifying, Sir?"

"Don't recall asking for your opinion. These names are just fine. That's what they are, really. I want an overview of my class and their average IQ so I can, well, know what to expect from them. Not much apparently. Look at that. Eight people in  _Kindergarden dicks_. Six in  _Superficial bitches_. Three in  _Nerds and geeks._ Wait, that's only seventeen. There's one missing."

"On your desk, Sir."

"Oh right. Gotta grade this one too ... Steve Rogers. Who's Steve Rogers? Sounds familiar..."

Right before his eyes, Jarvis showed him a list of his class, all the students with their names and photos. Quickly going through it, Tony found what he was looking for. Oh!

"Blondie! I knew it sounded familiar! Alright, you'd better impress me, Mr Rogers."

He knocked back his scotch and looked at the last sheet.

The first question was basically about the student's favorite kind of sandwich. Steve's answer was 'I would make French toasts with my two slices of bread. Add whipped cream and an awful lot of caramel sauce. Hot fudge sauce too. Calorie bomb.' and Tony could only smile and agree that it would be great. Awfully sweet and definitely bad because it would all go to his waist- his poor abs, they would suffer from this overdose of sugar -but he could just hit the gym after. To the second question, Tony was stunned. Steve had managed to write a part of the script of Romeo and Juliet in this fucking weird old English Tony couldn't even understand properly. How was he so good? Art student, alright, but still, everybody else had written some basic stuff. Some of them had answered by 'Deny your father and change your name. Or else, if you won’t change your name, just swear you love me and I’ll stop being a Capulet.' which was perfectly fine. Some others had written that Romeo was Romeo because Shakespeare had decided so, or had invented some stories about impostors and other stuff. But really, old English? On this question, Tony couldn't help himself: he wrote a comment in red pen. It was really annoying how Steve was good at answering questions like this. Another proof of this talent was the question three. So apparently Barney the dinosaur ruined Steve's childhood. Of course he did, Tony always knew that there was something wrong with this apparently cute purple thing. He always had appeared to him as a pedophile in disguise. Or the devil, in Steve's opinion. The tall blond even had a supporting evidence:

'Barney the purple dinosaur is Satan. Given: Barney is a cute purple dinosaur.

Extract the Roman numerals (Romans had not letter 'U', they used 'V' instead)

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

CV V L DI V

Add them : 100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5 = 666'

That was the fucking best answer of all time. Here again, he left a comment. And willingly gave Blondie the bonus point he was asking for, for the use of maths in his answer. Damned Steve Rogers. Stop being good! Tony was getting angry now and he couldn't even tell what for. He was annoyed, maybe by the fact that these answers actually made him smile pretty widely or because he was not able to give Steve a bad score so far. He kept reading the answers even though the idea of tearing the quiz in billion little pieces and tell Steve that he had lost it was appealing. Make him do it again, change the quiz on purpose, choose even more twisted questions. It was unhealthy, but something in him wanted to see Steve Rogers fail. Wanted to get rid of the angelic smile on the lips of this student. One class, and he could no longer stand him looking so perfect. The year would be particularly long now that Tony, for no particular or valid reason, hated Steve Rogers.

"Jarvis! Blondie just wrote that he's never been to Heaven in any possible way. Is that a confession? Like ... That so well-built version of the sweet and romantic guy is still a virgin? How is that even possible? He is as hot as a... I don't know, as a footballer, but with a brain too, you know, and he's probably awfully kind, every girl would fall for this rare specimen!"

"May I remind you that talking about how attractive the physical appearance of your students is is inappropriate, Sir?"

Tony groaned and threw his pen across the room, only to stand up and go pick it up after a few seconds of reflexion. He was acting stupid and childish. Pepper would yell at him if she saw him. Time to be a damn grown man and finish to grade this quiz so he could stop thinking about it. He read the last question- The most important part of the body? -and bit his lips as he looked at Steve's answer, pretty sure he would find something amazing again. And amazing it was, excepted that Tony had not anticipated the explosion of feelings it created in him. The sudden feeling of loneliness that crushed him hard and generated that lump in his throat. 

'It’s the shoulder. It can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder in life. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.'

Screw you, Steve Rogers. He tried his best to write a sweet comment because this answer really deserved one, but his heart wasn't in it. Steve's copy was really covered with red by the end of the correction.

All Tony wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob in the corner of the workshop. The truth in Steve's words was hard to bear. Tony knew he was right and it made it worse for him. He had no one. No shoulder to support him, never. He and Pepper? Not working. Rhodey? He would not cry on Rhodey's shoulder. He was his best friend, but somehow it wasn't enough for Tony to feel comfortable enough to open his heart. Tony Stark is a man who cries alone in the dark, mostly when he is drunk, and only when nobody can see him. Tony Stark is a man who thinks he has everything because he's rich and popular and he has everything he wants, even tons of girls to sleep with whenever he wants. But in fact, deep inside, he knows he's got nothing at all. What are all the material possessions when you miss the most important thing? One can pretend to live perfectly fine without love. But he cannot really do it. He isn't fine at all.

"Jarvis ... Create a new folder for Steve Rogers."

"How would you like to name it Sir?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet. Just call it 'Rare specimen' for now."

Tony stood up and grabbed his empty glass.

" _Fuck_ , I really need more scotch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there isn't smut in this first chapter but soon enough this work will deserve its explicit rating, don't you worry :)


	2. Chapter 2

Steve gently knocked two times on the door and reached for the handle, finding the door unlocked which meant Mr. Stark was there. Steve was a little early this morning and school didn't start before another half an hour, but he had nothing better to do so he figured he could just sit in the classroom and draw. He hadn't expected to find the classroom so dark or to see what looked like the form of his teacher's body sprawled on the desk. He frowned and when he got no reaction from the dark form over there, he flicked the lights on. Instantly, Tony Stark came back to life with a loud groan of pain and managed to snap:

"Shut them off. Please. The lights. Off."

Steve hesitated a brief second before obeying. Listening to the relieved sigh of Tony, he then walked towards the teacher's desk, thinking about the fact of being in a dark room all alone with a man nine years older than him. Not that it meant anything or that something would happen, but it was kinda thrilling just because if they were caught like this, they would have to give a bunch of explanations and it would definitely look suspect. Then, it occurred to him that he could easily ruin Tony's life right now just by tearing his own clothes off and starting to scream like a madman. People would instantly believe at an attempted rape. It was almost too easy. Must be a shitty thing to be a teacher, he could almost sympathize with the man.

"What is it,  _Doctor_  Stark?"

Steve smirked when he was granted the dirtiest look ever. Mr Stark was clearly not in the mood this morning and indeed he buried his face in his arms right after his death glare to Steve. The blond pulled a chair near the desk and sat down in silence, waiting for ... well, he had no idea what he was waiting for. He didn't even know why he had sat beside Tony rather than at his usual desk in the front row. 

"... Is the class cancelled?" Steve finally asked softly.

He heard some unintelligible mumbling at first and he slowly reached for Tony's elbow to give it a light flick. The teacher slightly raised his head with great efforts and narrowed his eyes, looking at Steve through ridiculously long lashes.

"Mmm no. I can't ask for a day off... Not right now. Y'know, beginning of the year, blah blah blah..."

"Obviously..."

"Obviously."

It pleased Tony to think that the guy was an idiot and that he would actually drop it. No such luck- Steve was not buying it. He smiled and leaned against the desk, crossing his arms and resting his chin on them to be at the same level as Tony and look at him right in the eyes.

"You're totally hungover, aren't you?"

"I'm so not... I only have an awful headache, like my head's going to explode, and I feel really nauseous so I might actually throw up right on you- gosh that would be funny -and...  _Fuck._ Yes. I'm fucking hungover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."

 Steve wasn't impressed. Of course Mr Stark was a ladies' man and waking up all alone after drinking that much must not be in his habits. Well thank you for this comment about your sexual life Mr Stark, Steve really needed to know that.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you really look like shit, Mr Stark."

"And I don't mean to be rude either, but I give you a detention."

Steve rolled his eyes in disbelief. This man was really hard to follow with his unpredictable behavior and his bad temper. A detention, exactly what he needed on the third day, thank you very much Mr Stark. Both men remained silent for a moment, Tony playing dead on his desk and Steve shifting awkwardly on his chair not knowing what to do next. The blond finally did it again, the little flick on Tony's arm, and earned another murderous glare. He just gave him his best smile while leaning towards the teacher and he tried:

"Class will start in fifteen minutes and you'll still look like a total mess. Do you want me to help you?"

"Don't you have any concept of personal space?!"

"I'm not that clo-"

"I can smell your shampoo, Blondie! The chances that I throw up on you just doubled. Back off."

Steve rolled his eyes again and stood up, walking out of the room. He would help Tony anyway, that's it. First step: Go get him some water. Steve was still in the door frame when he suddenly heard some really distinct and disgusting noises. Oh shit. That was bad. He quickly ran to the machine in the hallway to buy a bottle of water and came back just in time to see his teacher throwing up again right in the garbage he had fortunately grabbed. At least there wasn't a big mess. He could have vomited all over himself and that would have been so much worse. Steve walked to the desk and stood beside Tony, feeling awkward as hell. Right, what do you do when your teacher is having a freaking bad hangover? He could not just rub his back, pat his shoulder, tell him everything was going to be fine... Could he?

"It ... Uh, it's gonna be fine, Mr Stark ..."

Awkward. Steve fought the urge to take the opportunity to run his fingers through Tony's hair.  _It looks really soft..._  

"Here, I brought you some water. Do you want me to-"

"Don't. Nobody has to know that I-" 

Tony stopped talking and grabbed the garbage to bring it closer. Steve instantly looked away, but apparently it was a false alarm and Tony was alright because he only sighed and leaned back in his chair after a while. 

"-That I ... You know ... J-Just keep this for yourself okay? Please?"

Steve only nodded in response and handed him the bottle of water. Tony looked at it reluctantly and waited long enough for Steve to get tired and put the bottle on the desk before reaching for it himself. Tony took a little sip with the tip of his lips. He knew he had to drink water. Dehydration makes the symptoms worse. 

"Gum?"

Gosh yes. Tony reached for the pack of gum, stole it from Steve's hands and took two pieces, shoving them into his mouth and giving the pack back to Steve. No thank you, but Steve didn't expect to receive one so it's alright. They stared at each other for a moment, then Tony pushed the garbage away and leaned back in his chair, actually able to sit upright which gave him a better look. Only one hour, he could manage a class of eighteen students for an hour without collapsing or he's not Tony Fucking Stark! Steve looked reassured and brought his chair back to his desk to sit properly, waiting for the bell to ring. For the next five minutes, they waited in heavy silence, barely looking at each other- well, looking when they thought the other wasn't. Their gaze met a few times and Steve was always the first one to look away, intimidated by the intensity in the rich brown of Tony's eyes.

The bell finally rang and soon the class was full of students. Every time one of them entered the class, talking loudly and laughing, Tony let out a pained groan and Steve's smile grew bigger. Nobody tried to turn on the lights, but they all looked confused and glanced at Tony, waiting for some explanations that didn't come yet. The man was massaging his temples, his eyes closed, which aroused the concern of all the girls in the class without exception. Steve was pretty sure at least one of them considered going straight to the teacher and offering her help. Tony finally opened his eyes and took another sip of water before pressing the cold bottle to his forehead.

"There's a horrible pounding in my head and I slept very poorly so please, don't turn on the lights and don't make too much noise. Today you will copy the rest of the notes. You're allowed to whisper, see how nice I am even when I feel like shit."

Even turning on his laptop seemed to require great efforts. Once everybody was on task, Tony laid his head on his folded arms and closed his eyes. Never drink when there's school the next morning, never again, he had learned his lesson. Throwing up in front of his too damn perfect student ... Classy. Wit-wooo! Wolf-whistle for Mr Stark right here.

Tony sighed and ignored the class for the next half an hour. Maybe he fell asleep or he just drifted into unconsciousness for a while, but when he recovered his senses, he had his nose buried in Blondie's hip. He blinked sleepily, trying to figure out what was happening.  _Don't rub your cheek on his shirt, Tony, damnit!_ snapped a little voice in his head. Oh, it was tempting since Steve's shirt revealed a strip of golden skin just above the waistband of his jeans. The man growled, a low and husky noise in the back of his throat that was sweet enough to make a girl in the front row shiver, and looked up to meet Steve's blue eyes, only the boy wasn't looking at him and Tony felt angry just for that reason because it meant he would have to talk to get his attention. Talking ... How exhausting...

"Get your hip out of my face, Blondie..." he mumbled against Steve's shirt, obviously waiting for Steve to move first.

The tall blond flushed a little when he looked down and noticed and he slowly pulled back, gesturing towards the laptop.

"I was changing the slide."

Tony's brain was too shut off to even think of a good smart ass reply. He just vaguely nodded and straightened in his chair, observing the class for a moment. Everybody was calm, writing and talking softly. They were being a nice group, really, and for a second only Tony almost regretted the rude names he gave to the folders last night. These feelings went as quickly as they arrived, especially when Tony's eyes suddenly caught a bright light in the back of the class. Never mind, they deserve to be called stupid after all. Did this boy really think nobody would notice the light made by his cell phone in the darkness of the room?

"Hey you in the back. You're not allowed to text during class. Thought I wouldn't notice, but I did."

"But you did it yourself on the very first day!"

"So what? If you wanna send texts during classes, go get your Bachelor of Education and become a teacher."

The boy growled, but didn't put his phone away. Bad idea. In case nobody had noticed, Tony was not in the mood to teach anything, let alone discipline his class. He grabbed the plastic bottle on his desk and without thinking further he threw it at the student's head. The half-full water bottle had a certain weight and the noise it made when hitting the boy's head was really enjoyable. The student jumped at the impact and instantly looked offended, much to the others' pleasure. God bless those students, they kept their laughter low not to worsen Tony's headache. Fortunately, the boy finally put his phone back in his pocket.

"Thank you very much. Now I need to drink this water, please bring it back to me."

It was practically impossible for the student to pretend to hate Tony, he was in fact fighting back his smile. He stood up with a good grace and picked up the bottle, walking to the front of the class and handing it to the teacher. Tony's eyes grew bigger and he slowly shook his head, not reaching for it. 

"I don't- Put it on the desk."

Tony frowned then sighed at the incomprehension in the student's eyes.

"I don't like being handed things."

"You're a weird man, Mr Stark."

Steve tried to muffle his chuckle, but it didn't turn out great and Tony's eyes wandered towards him an instant. The man then smirked and turned back to the student in front of him.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Once the bottle was on his desk, he quickly grabbed it and took another sip. The class was not completely used to his eccentricity yet, but they didn't seem so surprised when he started chewing his gum loudly while putting his feet on his desk, probably waiting for the bell to ring. When it finally happened, he pointed at Steve without a word and beckoned. The tall blond gathered his stuff and approached Tony who only gave him a small piece of yellow paper. Oh damn it. His detention.

"Seriously?"

"Don't you dare argue with me, Blondie."

"I don't even deserve this detention! And stop calling me that!"

"Blondie."

"Mr Stark..."

"Blondie!"

"Oh come on!"

"BLON-"

"FINE!"

Steve snatched the paper from Tony's hands and gave the teacher a dirty look, looking so annoyed that Tony's lips parted into a wide satisfied grin. He was the best. Break Steve-Perfection-Rogers' usual composure,  _check!_  He would win this silly game he was playing with himself: annoy Steve and make his life a living hell. OK maybe not a living hell but close. Not too much so Steve wouldn't tell everybody what was happening. If Principal Fury knew that he was hounding a student for no reason, Tony could get in big trouble- Not that it never happened before, in fact he tends to get himself in trouble at least once a week. Pepper would handle it for him as usual. Flashing him a smoking hot smile, Tony gave a pat on Steve's butt and, his voice low and sweet and rich like dark chocolate, he murmured:

"That's my boy ..."

It gave Steve full-body goosebumps. He pretended not to be completely distracted by Tony's behaviour and only hoped he could make it out of the class before something really bad happened. It was so not the time to get a hard-on. He angrily glanced at the teacher one last time and left without looking back.

 

~~

 

It was a shitty idea. Let's give Steve a detention on the third day of school! He'll be the only student in detention so who's going to have to watch him? Tony of course since he's the one who gave the detention- Let's forget that Bruce Banner, the chemistry teacher, had looked at him like he was an alien or something for punishing a student so early. It was okay, they all did that. Give him strange looks. Plus he liked the guy, he was good at sciences and Tony could talk with him about things most other people didn't understand. Bruce was sweet and nice; on the other hand, his anger was supposedly destructive and Tony couldn't wait to see that. Soon enough, soon enough. In a school with a bunch of weird kids, there were tons of opportunities for Banner to lose it. Tony would wait. In fact, that's precisely what he was doing right now. Waiting. At the risk of repeating himself, it was a shitty idea to give Blondie a detention and now Tony was paying the price. He could have gone back home after his only class of the day... only to come back at four. The idea of standing up and making efforts sounded exhausting so Tony just stayed in his classroom with the intention of waiting. Staying an extra hour with Steve, not his best idea. What was he really thinking?

Tony remained quiet for a long time. In the silence and the darkness of his classroom, he let his hangover pass slowly, drinking an awful lot of water but not eating at all. Food? It was not part of his three primary needs. Which were coffee, sex and working in his workshop, by the way. None of them were fulfilled today but at least he was recovering from a really bad night and that was the only thing that mattered at the moment. Maybe he should get some sleep, the day would pass faster that way and he would feel good after so Steve's detention wouldn't be as bad as he expected. So Tony kicked off his shoes to be more comfortable and sat leaning against his desk, resting his head on his folded arms. Perfect. He closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind and especially stop thinking about Steve Rogers. 

 

_He was burning. An incessant flame was licking his insides and it was hot and painful and so, so pleasurable. All the blood in his body had travelled south at the repetitive touches on his warm body. A-AH yes! A tongue wrapped around his nipple, teasing, lapping, sucking. He bucked his hips and met a strong body on top of his. Fingers brushed over his other nipple, making him moan under the devotion with which these fingers and mouth took care of those sensitive spots. Nibbling and biting one of them, pinching the other. He felt a hand down along his body- Yes, yes, right there, gosh that was good. Fingers on his leaking cock, thumb spreading the pearly colored liquid all over the head ... There, there! He grabbed the firm shoulders and dig his fingers in the golden flesh, bucking and squirming under the muscular body, ragged and breathless moans coming out of his mouth beyond his control. A first few strokes on his cock and he was already a mess, he was already so close, sweat pearling on his forehead, fingers clenching in beautiful blond hair ... Right there, just a little more, oh gosh ..._

Tony's eyes shot open and he instantly glanced down his body at the bulge in his pants. He didn't feel sticky; Fine, great, no mess. Not yet. Breathing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair and found them a little damp with sweat. Jesus, what a dream that was ... It was a chance he hadn't come in his pants, but now the urge to reach a really needed orgasm was stronger than anything. Unable to calm down, he glanced at his watch. Twenty to four. Steve would probably arrive at five past four so he had plenty of time. Tony placed his feet on his desk, legs spread, and undid his belt. Not bothering to remove his clothes, he only slipped a hand in his underwear and released his cock from its cotton prison. Alright. He could use a little help here... Sad he was all alone and, even worse, in a classroom. 

"Pepper, oh lovely Pepper, where are you when I need you?"

Always there, she was always there. Well, when Tony needed her to save his precious ass, but not when he wanted sex visibly. He reached for his cell phone and froze, his thumb on the screen, suddenly remembering with horror that he did not know how to contact Pepper. She had deleted her number from his contact list the last time she had gotten angry at him, claiming that if he wanted to call her, he would have to remember the number. Tony being Tony, he had been quick to praise his own intellectual capacities and his- not so -glorious memory and Pepper had only smiled as if she knew exactly just how panicked he was, internally. Because of course, he wouldn't remember it. Now here he was, racking his brain while gently stroking his prick with his fingertips. After a few minutes, he had written down a number. He was anything but sure that it was the good one but nothing ventured nothing gained, right? 

'Hey babe, I'm horny.' 

Giving that Tony was not sure of the number, it was maybe not the best text to send but seriously, who cares? He was distracted by the heat pooling to his groin and had no time for shame. When he got a reply, he quickly read it.

'Excuse-me?'

'Damnit, I was pretty sure I had gotten the number right! How come you are not my girl?'

Stupid question. The stranger he was talking too would probably stop answering him and now he didn't have any other idea what Pepper's number might be. Tony was certain it started with a five... but maybe that was his social security number. From which he couldn't remember the eight other digits.  _Good god!_

'Maybe because I am a man.'

This guy was probably bored.

'Seems legit. Still horny tho.'

'Use your hand.'

'You're boring.'

Tony looked at the bright screen for a moment then sighed. Alright. He was a billionaire playboy, he could talk this man into sexting just for a few minutes! He totally could. At least he would try.  _Carpe diem_. Biting his lip, he typed something.

'Are you blond?'

At this very moment, he received:

'Are you wearing a tie?'

Tony smirked. Their next responses were synchronized again:

'Yes.'

'Yes.'

'Great. I love ties. There's so many things you can do with them...'

Tony's cock twitched at this reply and he bit off a groan. The bastard... He knew very well what he was doing to him with that sort of comment. Tony managed to type back:

'Tell me.'

'Y'know I'm kinda busy here. If they find out I'm texting I could get in trouble.'

'Do you know how hard I am for you honey? Talk to me baby, talk to me. Be a good boy.'

Tony hoped he hadn't pushed too far but he had the feeling this could go somewhere. This anonymous stranger was a blond guy-  _Fuck you Steve Rogers for coming to his mind right now_  -and well if he wasn't interested at all in sexting with Tony then he would have stopped replying, right? While waiting for the guy to write something, the teacher let his mind fill with pictures of soft and warm skin and golden hair and big blue eyes, and now he was making a mess, his cock dripping with precum. He quickly pulled his pants and underwear down to his knees and sat back, pulling his shirt up a little bit to prevent any damage on his clothing. Tony had no idea how much he was looking forward to receiving a reply until his phone started vibrating on the desk and he took it in a split second. _  
_

' _You_  seem like the dirty talker here... I bet you wouldn't stop talking even if I tied your hands to the bed with your own tie and touched you, kissed you and licked all over your body.'

'You bet. I would moan like a little bitch...'

'Then I would have to shut you up. I would choke you on my dick and you would fucking love it, wouldn't you? You would swallow every drop I'd give you because you'd want to please me, want me to give you more and make you feel so good...'

Tony's cock pulsed and he made a strangled noise, trying to catch his breath and to resist the urge to touch himself. He had other plans.

'You're great baby... Could you make me come just like that? Hands free, just by talking to me? I'm sure you can do it... I'm already so close ... Can I call you?'

'Shit man I'm sorry I really gotta go. Sorry.'

'What?'

And just like this, his anonymous lover was gone. Tony bombarded him with text messages but never got any reply and he was really starting to get pissed off. He was sexually frustrated and, fuck, this man had no right to tease him like that and then disappear! In a fit of anger, amplified by the annoying sound of the bell, Tony threw his cell phone across the room and closed his eyes at the sound it made when it hit the floor.  _Fuck._  Let's hope this new Starkphone was strong enough to resist this kind of impact... Tony stood up and walked awkwardly with his pants around his knees, trying not to fall as he reached for his phone and inspected it. Thank god it was still working. With his ridiculous approach, he returned to his desk and sank into his chair. 

Wait. Was that the bell?  _Holy shit!_

He grabbed the box of tissues on his desk and started to clean up the mess he had made. He wiped away all the precum on his prick, quickly tucked himself back into his pants and tried to make himself look presentable. Only a minute later, there was a soft knock on the door and Steve's head peered inside. Tony gave him a faint smile and shifted a little bit, trying to adopt a position that wouldn't bring out the bulge between his legs.

"Blondie."

"Mr Stark."

The tall blond walked into the room, Tony's eyes following him until he was seated at his desk in the front row. The student crossed his arms over his chest and gave him a strange look. Tony just pretended to be concentrated on whatever was on his desk at the moment, which was his empty bottle of water. He started playing with it, squeezing it and barely looking at Steve. The blond cleared his throat.

"So? What am I doing here?"

"I don't know. I didn't plan that giving you a detention would be a punishment for me too. Just copy 'Mr Stark is the best and sexiest teacher ever and I will never insult him again' until five o' clock. Then you'll be free to go."

Steve rolled his eyes, took out some paper and started writing. Tony was still playing with the bottle and after a moment the plastic noises annoyed the student who raised his head slightly and gave Tony a look with his so gorgeous blue eyes while pronouncing "Mr Stark..." in a way Tony swore was  _suave_. Or maybe it was only Tony's imagination since his throbbing cock was awfully painful, pushing against the tight fabric of his jeans. Clearly it wasn't the time to come in his pants but if Steve kept looking at him that way, he found out that he could probably lose it.  _Steve, that bastard, why was he so perfect and so handsome and fuck, Tony hated him so much!_ Leaving the bottle aside, the teacher stood up and cleared his throat.

"I'll be back in ten minutes. Keep writing."

Tony quickly left the room and closed the door behind him. His last option: the school's boys bathroom and his very helpful hand. He had been looking for something a little more exciting but he would now have to do without. He settled himself in one of the toilet cabins and shoved his pants and underwear down to his ankles. He pulled his tie and shirt up to reveal his belly then wrapped his fingers around his erection. He gave exactly two strokes. Two painfully good strokes, before his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and looked at the new message he had received.

'Got some time alone. Still horny?'

Tony let out a little noise, half-moan half-sob.

'Fuck. Yes. Hurry.'

It only took him a very few texts to lose it completely. This guy was probably younger than him, his lack of experience was showing a little, but he also seemed to be trying really hard to please him and it was still really good. Tony soon felt the orgasm building, more powerful than he expected, and his hips started bucking beyond his control. Through heavy breathing, he managed to moan lightly and muffle the louder noises when he came hard on his naked stomach. Tony took a minute to completely feel the aftershocks of his orgasm. Then, he sent a special thanks to the anonymous lover in his phone and once he felt like he could walk again without collapsing, he cleaned the mess on his belly and straightened himself. When he was fully clothed again, he washed his hands and went back to his classroom, his smile almost suspicious when compared to his annoyed expression when Steve had arrived for his detention. 

Tony walked towards the tall blond who was still copying the sentence he had given him. Setting his palms on Steve's shoulders-  _gosh, they were firm and muscular_ -Tony peeked over him and noted that he only had written it three times. In ten minutes?

"Weakness in the wrist, Blondie?"

He smirked when he saw a blush creep up along Steve's cheeks.

"You really wrote the 'sexiest' part though."

"I thought it was pretty accurate."

Steve could  _feel_  Tony grinning behind him. He kept writing even though the teacher was resting against him, arms crossed over Steve's shoulder blades. Tony was so close Steve could feel his hot breath on his skin and smell a hint of mint- the gum, remember -mixed with Tony's cologne. What's most distracting than being stared at while doing something? Especially by a teacher handsome enough to be a super model. Fortunately, Tony went away after a few long minutes and found something to work on on his laptop, leaving Steve alone for the rest of the hour. 

 

~~

 

"Stark gave me a detention!" Steve snapped as he slammed the door of the apartment.

Clint raised his head to glance at Steve from where he was sprawled on the couch, his head on Natasha's lap. 

"Stark as in Tony Stark the womanizer and the man eater?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Himself. You forgot 'Billionaire jerk'. I can't stand him, I can't, he just keeps teasing me and bugging me and changing attitude every minute."

"And being too sexy for his own good," added Clint with an understanding nod.

"That also."

Steve pushed Barton's legs away to make himself some place on the couch, forcing him to sit upright. The boy took the two xbox controllers and gave one to Steve. That's when Natasha rolled his eyes, pretty tired to see the two boys play Call of Duty again and again when one of them was pissed off. Yet, she didn't move and kept doing her homework- and Barton's one, but only because he had promised to train with her after. Or more exactly, in Steve's opinion, he had agreed to a few bruises and maybe a broken arm, since Natasha could be pretty rough when fighting. Steve suspected that Clint loved it but he never asked his friend and let him and Natasha do whatever they wanted to do. 

"I mean, I think Stark bears a grudge against me and I don't know why."

"Then give him a good reason not to like you. Drive him round the bend."

Steve didn't reply but the idea stayed in his mind during the whole game. 

Later that night, just before he went to sleep, he took his cell phone. Lying on his back in his bed, in the dark, he opened the picture he had received earlier that day. Just one more time. Just one. With a little smile, he looked at it for a long moment. The smooth olive skin and the well defined abs splattered with thick strips of come. For a first timer, his dirty talk hadn't been too bad, judging by the result on the stomach of the man on the other end of the phone. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and for a moment, Steve couldn't help but wonder if Mr Stark's body would look like that. Tony had the same skin color and well ... You've seen the guy, right? He couldn't possibly have an ugly body. Leaving the phone on the night table, Steve closed his eyes and, all alone in the darkness of his room, he allowed himself to think about his teacher. Naked. Needy. Gorgeous.

 

 

A whole month passed that way. Nobody had dropped the Statistics course and Tony had never shown up drunk or hungover again. He was still his incorrigible self but seemed to have developed a great relationship with his class. He was teasing his students, joking with them, and once he discovered some fun in teaching, he became really good at explaining things in a way to keep everybody interested in the subject. Within a little month, he became one of the most-loved teachers of the school. Even the most reluctant students discovered that he was really fun to be around. He worked with mutual respect. Be nice with him, he'll be nice with you. Mostly. If he remembers to. Well the thing is, Tony being Tony, sometimes he just does things and hurt people and he doesn't even notice it. He can be pretty oblivious to the world around him sometimes. Everybody got used to it and Tony's class was now most of the students' favorite one. Don't tell him that though, he's already cocky enough.

The only person that didn't totally share the general opinion was Steve. Not that Mr Stark wasn't a great teacher, he really was. He was just weirder than usual when it came to Steve. The tall blond had noticed that the teasing was always meant to be a little rude with him. Offensive at some point. A small change in the tone of Tony's voice or in the choice of words would change Tony's intentions in a way only Steve could notice, and the rest of the class was oblivious to it. He knew the teacher loved to give him a hard time and it was now reciprocal. They were constantly bugging each other and Steve had never had so many detentions in only a month. Tony would always make sure that he wouldn't have to watch him so they could avoid each other during this extra hour and that was totally fine. On the other hand, Tony was really, awfully tactile. He would put his hands on Steve's shoulders to look at what he was writing or put his arm around them to lean closer and explain something. There was always some light touches and of course he was like that with everybody, making all the girls go crazy, but with Steve, again it was a little different. Steve still did not know why.

Meanwhile, they both kept up with this anonymous texting. None of them had told his name to the other but they could talk for hours during the evening. Steve would talk about the gym or the animal shelter where he was volunteering, Tony about some new kind of weird invention he was working on or a nice party he had been to. One could say that they became friends. More than friends maybe. Lovers, in a certain way. The sexting had become frequent, at least once or twice a week. Steve was still reluctant at sending pictures of himself but the other one was really willing to show him his naked chest and the mess he had made, but never more than that. That was just fine. Only one time, Tony had brought up the idea to call each other, just to hear the voice of the man he was fantasizing about, but with Steve's refusal, he hadn't pushed further. That was fine too. They both enjoyed those little chat, especially when the day had been rough. To decompress and forget about the other who had been particularly annoying during the day, they would text each other, jerk off together and get to know each other.

 

If only they knew... 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took me a little longer than I expected. It's longer though :)  
> I know, I'm sorry, no good and passionate sex yet... hehe :) But I really hope you like it so far!  
> ~ And no, there's no picture of a naked Tony xD


	3. Chapter 3

"Bend over the desk."

Steve raised his head and blinked a few times, confused and pretty sure he had misunderstood Mr Stark.

"W-What?"

"I said  _bend over the desk,_  Blondie!"

The young man slowly stood up, surprised. Detentions with Mr. Stark were always really silent-- when it was he who was watching Steve, which rarely happened. Even more disturbing than the fact that Tony was talking to him, the teacher was asking him to do something ... weird. Inappropriate. Although reluctant, Steve stood slowly as requested, bending over the desk and resting on his arms. What for? He had no idea. He waited for Tony to say something, to laugh at him, to do something, anything. Trying to peek at the teacher over his own shoulder, Steve couldn't even see him. Suddenly, without warning, a sharp blow on his butt made him gasp in surprise and, maybe, a little pain, it's true. His eyes widening, Steve motioned to straighten himself but a strong hand between his shoulder blades slammed him hard on the desk.

"I'm not done with you."

"Wh-aAH!"

Tony gave him a second blow that shut him up except for a little moan barely stifled by his clenched teeth. 

"Steve Rogers..."

Tony rarely used his real name; Steve's heart lurched and he bit his lip.

"Yes...?"

"Yes who?"

"Y-Yes Mr. Stark?"

"Are you fucking  _enjoying it?!"_

Tony's tone was harsh, as if accusing Steve to take pleasure in the punishment. As if it was a bad thing that the spanking did turn him on a little. It probably was. Steve didn't say anything and only sprawled himself a little more on the desk, hands clenching on the edge of it, patiently waiting for this to be over. Tony's heart really was in it, the syllabus falling hard on Steve's butt at a constant pace and the blond could only try to hide how his body was responding to the stimulation. After a few more slaps, Steve heard Tony drop the syllabus on a desk nearby. He thought it was finally over but before he could move or do anything, Tony spoke and his voice was enough to stop Steve in his movement. It was low and husky, going straight to Steve's groin. When did this teacher become so damn more attractive? He was a really handsome man, there's no denying that, but Steve had never thought that one day, only hearing his voice would get him so hot and hard... He only hoped he hadn't really whimpered out loud... 

"I can't believe it. You  _are_  enjoying this. You're a dirty boy, Steve Rogers, a really dirty boy. What am I going to do with you...?"

Steve gulped and looked back again over his shoulder, only to meet Tony's gaze. His eyes were dark, the dilated pupils swallowing the irises, only leaving a small ring of rich and warm brown. There was something in these eyes.  _Lust. Desire. The eyes of a predator ready to pounce on its prey._ Instantly, Steve's whole body shivered and Tony's eyes caught the faint movement. A seductive growl came from the back of the teacher's throat and within a few seconds he was on Steve. His body pressed against the blond, he rushed a hand under his shirt to find his nipples and brush teasingly over them, growling again at the breathless whimpers that escaped Steve's mouth. With his other hand, he reached down Steve's body and slipped a hand under him to reach between his legs. 

"Look at you, so needy and ready for me... That's what you want, isn't it? You want me... You want me to treat you like the dirty boy you are..."

A tongue left a wet and hot path behind Steve's ear and before the tall blond could reply, teeth sank in the tender skin of his neck and all that escaped his lips was another moan. Steve squirmed under Tony, finally feeling it pressed against the small of his back: Tony's erection. He was as hard as Steve was, breathing unsteady, skin smooth and warm just like the student had imagined. He wanted to feel these hands all over him, everywhere on his body, he wanted more and yet Tony was teasing him like always, only this time it was a little more despairing. 

"Mr. Stark..." Steve murmured, only to get his ass slapped by Tony's hand.  _Oh god. More._

"What is it that you want?" Tony's mouth was close to his ear, hot breath caressing his sensitive skin.

"Y-Y-You... In me... N-Now..."

Without difficulty, he could imagine the smirk on Tony's lips at those words. The older man suddenly thrust his hips against Steve's and rubbed himself slowly on his hipbone, one hand tangled in Steve's blond hair to pull his head back a little. Still moving against his student's body, he kept talking and murmuring hot promises.

"-and I'll take you right there on the desk, I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to sit properly in class tomorrow... You'll feel me for  _days_ _,_  Steve Rogers, you'll remember how good it was to have my cock in you and you'll love it, won't you? The pain... The emptiness... You'll come to me after class and beg me to give you more because I'm gonna be so good to you Steve, so good..."

Steve barely noticed that while talking, Tony had bared his ass and was brushing his fingers over the reddening spot there, where he had spanked him. He only realized it when he felt hot skin pressed against his own. Hard and hot and  _oh Jesus, Tony's cock felt like heaven. That. That's what heaven is like._ Steve started whimpering and groaning, almost sobbing "Please, please" in a way that made Tony moan. Best sound ever. The man kept babbling about how sexy Steve was, how hot and ready and then finally,  _finally_ _,_ he gripped Steve's hips and thrust deep inside. Steve gasped, pleasure and pain mixing together in that very first thrust, but when Tony leaned against him to murmur "You alright babe?" into his ear, the real concern in his voice made the heat explode in Steve's stomach and he moaned in response, crying Tony's name over and over again with every thrust...

 

 

Steve woke with a start at the sound of his alarm clock. He silenced it with a punch-- it was already broken, the only way to make it stop was to hit it hard --and rubbed his face with one hand. He had had enough of these dreams... This lasted for days now. It is sometimes said that dreams are a reminiscence of the previous day, well Steve could tell that somehow it was not completely wrong. The more Tony touched him during the day, whether it was the arm, the shoulder or an involuntary light touch, the more his dreams were intense and hot. It was driving him crazy. And again, another cold shower for him this morning.

Steve slumped on a chair in the kitchen and hold his apple in the air for Clint to play with it. The man seemed pretty excited, a broad smile stretching his lips as he shot an arrow at the apple.

"It's gonna be awesome man! I wish I could go with you!"

"It's a school trip, Clint."

"A school trip in San Diego, California, yes!"

"A school trip with Mr Stark as an accompanying teacher," Steve added, removing the arrow from his apple and taking a bite of the fruit.

Clint narrowed his eyes and settled himself on the counter, shrugging with a mocking smile.

"You'll get to see him all tanned and hot in board shorts..."

"Oh, you shut up!"

Steve couldn't help but smile as he fondly punched Clint on the shoulder, the other young man laughing and returning the punch a little harder. Steve hadn't meant to tell Clint how he felt about Mr Stark, only the archer had been so insistent the night he had woken up to find Steve sitting in the living room after one particularly wet dream that Steve had spilled it. How he found Tony so attractive in a physical way, but how he was unbearable and always on Steve's back, always nagging him. Clint loved teasing him kindly about his 'little crush' as he liked to call it. Steve remained clear on that point: It  _wasn't_  a crush. So not. Just his hormones of young male playing tricks on him. Plus, Tony Stark  _was_  attractive. There was no denying that and even Clint, in all his heterosexuality, could only agree. It was all a matter of appearance. Tony had a shitty personality and Steve hated him, that's it.

After his breakfast, Steve grabbed his stuff and bumped his fist against Clint's.

"Alright I'll see you in a few days, if Stark does not voluntarily abandon me in the middle of nowhere."

"Or have the bus roll over you. Or make you fall in a cement mixer. Or-"

"Clint..."

"-give you the best blow-job  _ever_  and your orgasm will be so powerful that it'll be fatal."

Steve's eyes widened and he was about to protest but Clint shut him up by smiling widely again and wishing him the best trip ever before pushing him towards the door. 

"Go now or you'll miss the bus and now Stark will have a real reason to nag you. Come back in one piece!"

Steve shook his head but smiled and with all his stuff he slowly walked to school. A school trip in the middle of October, for no apparent reason. Apparently, Principal Fury had agreed that it was a great idea-- how did the teachers convince him, Steve had no idea --and Steve's group was now going to San Diego. The art class, but not the art teacher. No, Fury had also thought that sending Stark with them would be a nice idea. Or maybe Fury just wanted to avoid having to see Tony at school for a few days, who knows. The thing was that they were going with Mr Stark, to Steve's displeasure, and they would be sure to skip all the cultural activities-- the real point of the trip, really --because  _Mister_   _Stark_ didn't find that interesting. Of course it wasn't science and it wasn't beautiful enough for Mr. Perfection! Steve expected Tony to complain about every activity on the schedule and use his influence to change everything at the last minute without really giving the students the choice. What would they do then? Steve wasn't sure he really wanted to know. The coming days would be painful...

 

"There is  _what?_ Why is there a pair of my underwear for sale on E-bay?! ... Two million, really? No, Pepper no please leave it there, once it'll be sold at a ridiculously high price I'll find the guy and I'll be like 'lawsuit!' for, I don't know, Copyright Infringement or violation of privacy or whatever, I'm sure you can find something and I'll make money without effort, isn't it great? I'll buy you a present. Take you out to dinner then- What?  _Be nice and not do anything stupid for a whole month?_ Let's say a week, I can manage a week- Fine, fine, two but it's my last offer. Two weeks. Deal? I love you, have a safe flight and call me when you get there- I don't care you'll be in Japan, wake me up, we'll have cam sex- OK, no cam sex, just... I want to make sure that you're safe and everything, stop arguing, Pepper I'm babbling now, you always make me do that you evil woman- What, no I didn't drink too much coffee! I'm so not overexcited, why do you even- ... Damn it I have to go, love you!"

Tony hung up and turned around to give Steve his best smile.

"Your girl?"

"Kinda. Sort of girlfriend... Ish. I mean, it's uh, yeah. Complicated."

"I see."

Of course, Steve Rogers was part of the trip. When Tony had agreed to take a couple of students to California, he hadn't thought Blondie was one of them. He hadn't thought that his whole Stats class was there. The eighteen of them. 

"Alright Blondie, just give your suitcase to the bus driver, he will take care of that. Get on the bus with the others. That goes for you too, Keaton- Oh, coffee! Thank you sweetheart, you know you're my favorite don't you?

"Sure thing, Mr Stark!" the girl answered with a smile, knowing that whoever gave Tony some coffee instantly became his new favorite. 

Tony winked at her and watched as she got on the bus, before turning to face Steve who hadn't moved. This guy could be really weird sometimes. Tony wondered why the tall blond was still there, looking at him with those pretty blue eyes and what seemed like the outline of a smile on his lips.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just wondering how many hundred dollars this burgundy red shirt is worth."

While Tony took a glance at his shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the spread collar, Steve turned and got on the bus with the others. The teacher was left there, a little taken aback by this comment on his clothes and not knowing what to think of that. He finally shrugged and put his sunglasses on the top of his head, joining his students on the bus. Benedict Aviator, gold with chrome amber lenses, the guy knew how to rock sunglasses. He quickly went through the list of students to make sure everybody was there then addressed the group.

"Alright guys! I know you all have the drinking legal age but no alcohol will be tolerated during this trip since it's a boring school one. I expect your full cooperation. I don't mind mixed rooms as long as you don't disturb the others and nobody gets knocked up."

This comment was greeted with thunderous applause and whistles. Tony smirked.

"Nice. Are we ready? Let's have FUN!!"

Everyone happily cheered these words and the agitation took a moment to calm down. Steve got a little carried away by the great mood of the others and tried really hard to convince himself that this trip wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be. No, he could have fun even if they weren't doing the cultural activities or even with Stark around the whole time. There was a smile on his lips, smile that fainted when none other than Tony Stark dropped on the seat right next to him. A quick look around him told Steve that there were empty seats at the front of the bus, so no good reason for Tony to choose to sit beside him. Upset, the young man sat back in his seat and leaned against the window, the headphones of his iPod plugged in his ears. After a few minutes, he was distracted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He reached for it, not even looking at Tony who was himself playing on his phone, his knees up and pressed against the back of the seat in front of him, in a position a student would sit, but definitely not a teacher. Once again, Steve fully noticed how Tony was different.

'What's up babe? Missed me?'

Steve smiled and leaned back on the window, replying:

'Sure did. I'm not alone tho, there's a fucking jerk right next to me."

He smiled and looked up at Tony, watching a smile form on the man's lips for an unknown reason. Maybe he was texting that girl- Pepper? -or just playing weird little games on his phone. Suddenly, without warning, the teacher shoved his phone in his pants and Steve's eyes widened as they catch a hint of a red and gold underwear.

"Hey, whoa! What is wrong with you? I'm right there you know!"

"So what? Want me to send you the picture? Just give me your number..." Tony playfully retorted, but he took his phone out of his pants and put it away in his pocket.

Steve growled and looked away. 

They remained silent for a few minutes, then the bus suddenly stopped and Tony almost jumped from his seat.

"Here we go! Everybody gets on the plane, thanks to me for being rich and famous 'cause you will get to travel in one of my private jets. Don't bother with the bags and suitcases, someone will take care of that. Blondie, you coming?"

Steve frowned as he stood up, put his phone back in his pocket and followed Tony and the others out of the bus. Fifteen minutes later, they were flying over New York City in Tony Stark's private jet. Rich, luxurious and incredibly beautiful, Steve had to specify. A flight of about six hours in such a plane was nothing, really. They would be there in a blink of an eye! Of course, Tony's rule regarding alcohol did not last more than an hour since, soon enough, some flight attendants-- all girls in slightly revealing outfits --served them some champagne. Not that the teacher minded, he seemed more than fine with it actually. When he noticed that one particular student didn't have his own champagne flute, Tony grabbed one and walked to him, sitting right next to him for the second time today, flashing him a grin.

"Hey Blondie. Enjoy yourself, come on! Here, have this."

"It would be easier for me to 'enjoy myself' if you weren't always hovering around me." 

Steve still took the champagne; Good sign.

"Don't be such a wet blanket. Have fun!"

Tony gave him a look and Steve stared at him for a moment, his mouth suddenly going dry and his heart pounding in his chest. Fragments of his dream kept coming back to his mind and he couldn't help but notice the way Tony's eyes were getting darker. The blond watched as those perfect lips parted in a smile, the tip of Tony's tongue ridiculously caught between his teeth. When Steve remembered how to speak-- and breath --he managed a 'Will do', not so convincing. Was it him or Tony had leaned a little closer? He could smell his cologne, a hint of alcohol and...  _Oh god, he was really close, how did he even **get**  that close?!_

"Steve? Steve, breathe."

His voice was close.  _Too close. Low and sweet like honey._  Steve could feel the hot breath on his skin, the most distracting thing ever, and Tony was asking him to  _breathe?!_ He did as he was asked, sucking on a little breath, taking a mouthful of Tony's smell and he instantly felt his head spinning. 

"How do you want me to-"

He bit his lip, stopping himself and watching with relief as Tony pulled back. His pupils were still huge and his breath seemed irregular but he was still more in control than Steve was.

"Alright, I'll uh, go see how the others are doing."

Steve vaguely nodded and watched him as he left--  _burgundy really was a nice color on him..._

_~~_

 

It was really bad, Tony thought as he closed the door behind him. He locked it and walked to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and running a hand through his hair. His head between his hands, he couldn't help but swear under his breath. Blondie, that little prick with too pretty blue eyes! Tony's hands clenched in his hair. What was happening to him? What was wrong with him, what was going on?! He had Steve Rogers issues and that was bad. 

Tony had always wanted to be the best. To be worth something. To make his father proud of him. 

He was knee-high and he already had started to show some signs of great genius. He had soon started to build things, which was very unlikely for a child this young. Just like the children impress their parents with colorful drawings, Tony Stark was  _trying_  to impress them with  _robots_. He would come to his father after changing the toaster in whatever other thing, playing with the microwave to increase its power or completely reprogramming his RC car. Howard never seemed impressed. There was always something wrong. A mistake in one of the codes, a slight defect in programming that he kept pointing as if it wasn't sensational that a child could build things like that with so few errors. Tony had tried really hard to be the child Howard really wanted. He would try to solve all the equations Howard would give him, would spend hours on them before going to bed and have atrocious nightmares full of numbers and formulas and Howard's voice calling him down. Nothing seemed to be enough. The child he was was calling out injustice, not understanding much about the situation but well aware of the growing despair in his heart. Howard didn't love him. What other logical deduction could he do? It was crystal clear. 

Tony would spend long hours curled up against his mother, pretending to be alright when he was not, faking a smile when he felt like crying, trying to forget the unforgettable and to replace the irreplaceable. He loved his mother, he loved her so much, but there was something missing in Tony's life. A father. A real father to play with him, a father who would proudly present his son to his friends and say that he was his greatest creation. Instead, the man he had for father kept working and drinking, treating Tony like a piece of shit when he was drunk and ignoring him when he was sober. Howard had never touched him, never hit him. But he had hurt his son in the most painful way, the irreparable way, leaving behind some deep wounds that would never heal completely.

At first, Tony had thought his father wanted a perfect son. Tony himself was a bit arrogant and at times turbulent but he wasn't a bad boy and he was doing his best. The thing was, Howard probably wanted someone awfully kind and generous, like the gentlemen Tony had seen in those boring tv shows his mother watched. He had tried to act like them. To open the door for his mother when she came back from the grocery store and help her with the heavy bags-- If 'dropping one in the staircase and ending up with a fractured arm because he had slipped on the broken eggs' counted as help --but never, never had he been rewarded for his efforts. Maybe it was the eyes. The hair. Brown, brown, brown again, everything was brown and brown was boring. He had wished he could have blond hair, or at least gorgeous blue eyes like that handsome man in the Dior advertisements. Tony had wished wholeheartedly, but it was useless. 

Tony had to face the evidence. From the first time he had met him, he had seen in Steve Rogers all he had wanted to be when he was still a child. From the blond hair to the blue eyes through the overflow of kindness, Blondie was perfect. This hatred he felt, however, was not directed at his student, Tony was well aware now. It was only resentment towards his father, father who pushed him to believe that he was a failure, a loser, since his childhood. When Tony had entered MIT at fifteen, he had soon learned that his brown hair and eyes were maybe not that boring and that girls seemed to find them pretty attractive indeed. This had been the beginning of a hero. The beginning of Tony Stark the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. A hero?  _A hero my ass, you've been an asshole with a nice and totally innocent guy because you have daddy issues and you can barely keep Pepper by your side because she always has to cope with your mess..._ Tony thought bitterly as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. His phone had been ringing for two minutes now but he still hadn't picked up. When he found the strength to lie on his side and look at the entering call, he pressed on the button to answer. Immediately, Pepper's voice filled the room.

"Anthony Edward Stark! How many times will I have to tell you to answer me when you ask me to call you? ... Tony... ? Tony!"

Tony was holding the phone in a way so she wouldn't be able to see him with the video call. She was facing the wall right now and seemed to get pretty worried now that she didn't receive an answer. Usually, the man would cut her off, say that he already knew all that and that he was sorry-- he wasn't at all --and start babbling about anything or give her a smartass reply and an irresistible smile. 

"Are you alright? Listen, I am not really upset and you know that, right? ...Tony, are you  _crying?"_

Tony turned the phone around to give her the saddest look ever. Pepper instantly felt her heart sinking at the sight of the water filling those big brown puppy eyes and the single tear running down his cheek. There was so much pain in his eyes...

"Do you love me?"

Pepper resisted the urge to ask him if he was drunk. Tony almost never cried and rarely showed moments of weakness like this, except when he was drunk. He could cry all alone, curled in a ball in a corner of his workshop, where Pepper would find him the next morning. He could call her and complain about his life for hours. None of this happened when he was sober. Tony Stark in full possession of his faculties was too scared to let anybody in. What was different tonight?

"Of course I love you, Tony."

"Don't lie to me Pepper! I'm an awful person, am I?"

This was really not the time for a 'Daddy issues crisis'. She was away and Tony was alone and who knew what he could do? He already had tendencies to harm himself when he was feeling alright so leaving him alone in that state of mind almost frightened Pepper.

"No you're not. Don't be so hard on yourself, Tony, you're a great guy and no matter how much you can get on my nerves, I would never, never let you down, do you hear me? Tony, Tony please stop crying..."

"No I won't! You don't understand, Pep!"

"Tony-"

"I'm such a meeeeess..."

"Yes. But, my favorite hot mess."

"Really?"

Rule number one: Do not always get caught in his depressive mood. Try to be firm and flatter his ego. Works most of the time. That and a hug but since Pepper was in Japan... She simply smiled when she saw the corners of Tony's mouth curl up a bit and he wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. This man was so gorgeous when he was sad...

"So everything's alright?" Tony finally asked, sniffing a little.

"Yes. I'm fine and the flight was great. I-"

"Come back soon, please," he cut her off. The puppy eyes were back, no tears this time thankfully.

"In a few days, Tony. Yes, we'll cuddle on the sofa and watch movies, I promise."

They both smiled.

"You know me too well."

"It scares me sometimes."

"... Pep, I left my students outside by the hotel's pool. Partying. With alcohol."

Tony frowned when she just started laughing and he pretended to be hurt by the way she shook her head with discouragement. She didn't buy it.

"That's the Tony Stark I know. What are you waiting for?! Go look after them!"

It wasn't perfect but it would do for now. When Pepper would be back, however, Tony expected a lot more to make him feel better... Oh, that'd be great...

 

~~

 

"Mr Stark?"

The party by the pool was nice and the students were all enjoying themselves but Steve had walked away towards the beach for a bit of fresh air. Barefoot, wearing a white t-shirt, hands buried in the pockets of his board shorts, he walked in the sand and stopped beside Tony. The man slightly turned his head to give him a look, a small but yet sincere smile stretching his lips.

"Steve."

It was Steve's turn to smile. He stood there beside the man, looking at the deep blue sea in front of them, just far enough from it so the waves wouldn't touch their bare feet. Tony was still wearing his burgundy shirt with his Billabong shorts and Steve couldn't help but notice that he hadn't touched the water at all during the day. They had had the time to go in the pool before supper but the teacher hadn't come with them and now he wasn't even participating in the party. Steve had a whole bunch of questions for the man but somehow he found them a little rude. It was none of his business if Tony didn't want to swim... Maybe he just couldn't. Or was afraid of water, who knows. But it would be kinda weird.

"Water's cold here on the pacific coast. I know what I'm talking about, I own a mansion in Malibu."

Alright, maybe not afraid of water.

"Must not be that bad." Steve shrugged and Tony looked at him again, defying.

"Alright big guy, get in the water and we'll see."

"Only if you come with me."

Tony narrowed his eyes. Steve could tell that the idea did not seem to please the man but that he clearly didn't want to look like a coward. He remained silent for a moment then bit his lip.

"I don't... I don't think it's a great idea."

"What is wrong, you have two bellybuttons? Come on,  _Doctor_  Stark!"

"What, no, I am the one who makes that kind of jokes, you shut up Blondie!"

"Then you're just a chicken!"

Tony gave him a dirty look and Steve knew just there that he had won. Indeed, Tony started unbuttoning his shirt from the bottom, revealing at first his firm and well-defined abs, sending some heat in Steve's stomach along with a strong impression of déjà vu. Then Tony finished undoing the buttons and with a shrug of his shoulders he dropped the shirt on the sand. Steve's eyes instantly widened and stared intensely at ... at that unknown thing in Tony's chest. Some kind of device producing a clear blue light, implanted in the middle of his chest, looking so fragile and yet so ... reassuring ... Steve stepped closer, intrigued.

"What is it?"

"An arc reactor."

"W-Why, I mean, why do you, uh-"

Tony's fingers brushed his wrist, shutting him up and he looked up to meet the man's eyes. Tony looked more serious than ever.

"I made it myself. It keeps some tiny shrapnel pieces from entering my heart, therefore it's keeping me alive. Yes, if you remove it I'll go into cardiac arrest but I really hope I didn't piss you off to this point. Uh, I just ... I'm not so comfortable with showing it to everybody and having to explain and everything, you know, the shitty stuff... Some people are just way too curious. You'll hold your tongue, right?"

"S-Sure..." Steve blurted out, and kept silent after that even though there was a lot more he wanted to say.

He could understand Tony's reluctance, however he didn't feel like he should be so ashamed. The arc reactor was fascinating and Steve was totally loving it. That a small technological invention could do such a wonderful job seemed prodigious, and Steve also felt like he was seeing a part of Tony that he kept hidden from people. He felt... special. Just because Tony trusted him enough with this was making him feel great in a way it really shouldn't. Biting his lips to keep himself from asking Tony why there was shrapnel in his chest first-- Maybe Tony would tell him one day when he'd feel like letting him know -- Steve gestured towards the water.

"Are we going, Mr Stark?"

"Sure we are, Blondie! Unless you changed your mind..."

"Is it uh, gonna be okay? In the water?"

"That's so you, Steve, always concerned about the others. Damn, I'm Tony Stark, of course it's waterproof, what do you think? What would I do otherwise, never shower?"

"Ew."

"Exactly."

To Steve's surprise, the teacher grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the water. They ran for a moment, feeling the bite of the cold water on their ankles at first but not letting it stop them, then feeling it on their legs, and soon enough Tony froze, the expression on his face totally priceless. 

"Holy shit it's freezing! My poor unborn children... I CAN'T FEEL MY BALLS!"

Steve couldn't help it: he burst in laughter. Tony stuck his tongue out at him which only amplified his laugh. He kept going, soon joined by the teacher who was still complaining out loud. Suddenly, without warning, Tony pounced on him to make him lose balance and they both fell, Steve barely able to close his mouth before he was under water. Arms and legs interspersed, they fought for a moment to try to break the surface and when Steve was finally able to find his footing, he pulled Tony out of the water with him. The man was laughing, coughing, laughing again, so damn handsome in the moonlight and the blue glow of the reactor and Steve tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach at that sight. They were close, Tony's hands still on Steve's biceps, warm touch that contrasted with the cold water. Steve found himself looking intensely at the reactor again, barely noticing that Tony had suddenly gone still. When the teacher spoke, his voice was a little rough, barely a whisper, almost afraid:

"You- You can touch it if you want..."

Steve only hesitated a split second. Even before he had the time to reach for it, he saw Tony tense and bite his lip. Very slowly and gently, the blond brushed the device with his fingertips and Tony's hand clenched on his elbow, not pulling him away but close to do so. It only took Steve a few seconds to figure out what was going on. Someone had already taken it out once against Tony's will. Of course that was the logical explanation. Tony had probably been left for dead, someone had removed the reactor for whatever disgusting reason and now the man was scared as hell. He wasn't saying anything but letting Steve touch the reactor seemed to be a big deal for him.

"Hey. It's alright. I would never do that... Not even to my crazy, annoying as hell and ridiculously smartass stats teacher."

"I know..." Tony murmured as if, yes, he really did know.

He captured Steve's hand in his and slowly pressed it to his reactor. Steve expected it to be cold or to feel weird but it was in fact surprisingly tepid and far from being uncomfortable. Tony kept his hand in his for a long moment before letting go but the tall blond didn't pull back, his thumb brushing the soft, scarred skin around the reactor and making the genius shiver. 

_An emotion, like an invitation. All that for a look or two, a smile which quivers a little. They had trouble finding words so they were keeping silent, they were clinging to each other like two desperate children, without hesitating, without knowing, the waves crashing on their bodies firmly pressed against each other. The desire devoured their bodies to the fingertips, it was so hard to ignore the fire that slept deep within them, the electricity felt between them...  It was love, it was an accident, but it was love..._

Steve had no idea what was really happening, if he was dreaming or if all of this was real. And while he was still trying to figure that out, Tony was hotly licking at Steve's mouth and biting his bottom lip and sucking on his tongue as if his life depended on it. They were kissing madly, Tony's hands buried in Steve's hair and pulling him closer. Steve still had a hand on the reactor, the other one holding on Tony's hip and he melted in the kiss, barely aware of the waves still crashing on them and sometimes almost knocking them off balance. They stood there, kissing in the dazzling effect of the neon blue glow of the reactor and the moonlight making dance a silvery sheen on the water.

Their mouths finally parted and Tony rested his forehead on Steve's chest to catch his breath. Steve placed a hand on the back of the teacher's head and hold him there, closing his eyes.

"I thought you hated me," he murmured.

"And I thought I hated you."

Tony snorted and pulled back a little, his brown eyes trapping Steve's blue ones.

"I'm really bad at this but, uh, I guess I was wrong and I hope you don't hold a grudge against me."

"I don't. This probably sounds crazy but I don't. I just... Can we just-"

"Pretend that nothing happened? Yeah, totally. Fine with me. No kissing?"

"No kissing."

"Yeah. Better. 'Cause I mean, I'm your teacher-"

"I know, I'm your student, wouldn't that be weird if we, uh... Yeah- And you're way too old."

"Oh well thanks Blondie!"

"No offense Mr Stark."

They smiled, both hiding their disappointment. It was the best thing to do, act as if nothing had happened, but somehow it still felt wrong and Steve just wanted to freeze time and go back to the wild and passionate kissing. Tony soon regained composure and walked out of the water, Steve following, arms dangling. Picking up his shirt, Tony smiled.

"Do you know what I really feel like having right now?"

"Nope?"

"Here's a hint: It goes in hard and pink and then comes out soft and sticky."

Steve's jaw instantly dropped and he glanced at his teacher with wide eyes. Tony only winked at him and turned around, starting to walk away.

"Chill out, Blondie, it's just bubble gum, you dirty minded freak! Let's head back."

And Steve followed again, wondering how Tony could already act so casually with him after what had just happened. Steve knew that at least  _he_  wouldn't feel perfectly at ease around Tony for the coming days.

 

~~

 

It was past midnight and Steve still couldn't sleep. The evening had been eventful, especially after Tony finally decided to join the party. He had overcome his reluctance at showing his reactor, at least to his class, and had spent a while talking passionately about physics and explaining to the students how the device worked-- of course omitting to talk about how the fucking shrapnel had ended up in his chest. Then he had screamed 'Bomby!' and jumped into the pool and there you go! Tony Stark knew how to make a memorable party.

The blond sighed and rolled on his side to grab his cell phone on the bedside table. A little smile on his lips, he sent a text message to Clint:

'All tanned and hot in board shorts,  _check_. Was totally worth it. Still in freaking good shape, man, you missed something.'

Steve then started scrolling through all the messages and pictures that he and his mysterious friend had exchanged. Mostly the pictures, that's true, but really you haven't seen the guy. Looking at them for yet another time because hey, if he couldn't sleep then he could at least enjoy a great view, Steve started noticing that the faint blue glow he had thought was coming from the phone really reminded him of Tony's reactor. Yes, yes he knew he should stop thinking about this man, he knew that but he couldn't help it. Something was strange with these pictures. His anonymous lover never showed him more than his abs. Never the whole chest. And there was a hint of a blue light that, maybe, wasn't coming from the phone. Maybe Steve was just extrapolating, maybe the kissing had just affecting his neurons more than he had thought, but... 

And then, right then... He noticed it, on one of the pictures. An evidence. One too many.

...

A red and gold underwear.

"No... No, no,  _NO!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! :D  
> I hope you guys like it, I tried to make it a little longer because I don't know when I'll be able to post the next one, since I'm going to New York for the week (Hopefully I'll see Robert Downey Jr and my life will be complete xD).  
> Don't worry I will try to update as soon as possible when I come back! :)


	4. Chapter 4

A knock on the door.

 

Steve raised his head and looked towards it, waiting to know if it was just his imagination or if someone really was at the door of his hotel room at one in the morning. Just a few seconds later, it was confirmed that he had not dreamed: a voice came from the hallway, a voice that made his heart  _and_  his stomach flip. 

"You sleeping, Blondie?"

Exactly the one and unique person he really didn't want to see for a while. Tony Stark really had bad timing sometimes. After hyperventilating and cursing and calling himself names for being that oblivious to the fact that he was texting Tony, Steve still hadn't figured out how to deal with the situation and seeing Tony now was not the best idea. Still, after considering the idea of pretending to be asleep and not replying anything, Steve sighed and answered softly:

"Nope. Come on in."

He distinctly heard a 'Great. He's awake, guys, let's go!" and instantly panicked a little. Guys? Wait. Who? How many people were there? And why? So many questions and so few answers, the only certitude Steve had was that Tony was not alone and that, well, maybe Steve should get dressed right now. He jumped off the bed and put on a pair of sweatpants, just in time before the door opened and Tony stepped inside. He was followed by two men, both wearing the hotel's staff outfit. One of them had a tray in his hands, the other one two empty glasses and a big pitcher... of milk. Or what looked like milk, with Tony Stark you're never sure of anything. They set everything on the small table in the corner of Steve's room and left without a word, closing the door behind them. That left only Tony standing in the middle of the room, all smiles and sexiness, in front of a stunned Steve. The teacher had probably showered since his hair still seemed damp. He had put on a black tank top of which the fabric was thin enough to let pierce the blue glow of the arc reactor and... red and gold pyjama bottoms. Oh gosh. Steve could not see those two colors anymore. Really. What was wrong with Tony and his obsession for them!?

"Alright, what's with all this stuff at one in the morning? A date?" Steve said, cracking a smile, trying to adopt a joking tone.

"Oh. If you wanna put it like that..."

_Oh shit. Not the answer he had expected._

Tony slowly walked towards the bed Steve was sitting on and, in the dim light, he looked so gorgeous and  _hungry_  to Steve that the tall blond almost dropped to his knees with the firm idea of letting Tony do whatever he wanted to do with him. A split second later, he chased that thought vigorously because this was going way too far. Plus, Tony didn't actually look hungry. It was all his imagination. He just seemed amused and a little hesitant maybe. 

"No, seriously. I just couldn't sleep and I thought that, uh, maybe I could come over and... Well you know, what you've- I mean, the way you... Alright, wait. Let me try again. Hush, don't say anything, I'll do this, let me... Let me try again."

He took a deep breath and then locked eyes with Steve. The blond still hadn't said a word, his eyes wide and so blue and Tony was losing his words right now just by looking into them, diving in that pure innocence and kindness that was Steve Rogers.

"What I wanted to say is thank you. Here. See. It doesn't sound bad, does it? ... Yes it does, of course, it sounds like I'm being slaughtered for god's sake!"

"Mr Stark..."

"There's something wrong with me! Should I try a deep and sexy voice? ... Thank you... Uh. No, that's bad. It doesn't sound right at all. It's like, I'm trying so hard to say it so it will sound like I mean it, but it just doesn't and it seems all fake but it's not, really, and I don't understand because it's just two fucking words and I can say a ton of words in just one second, you wouldn't believe it, see I'm doing it again but I can't figure out how to-"

"Tony!" Steve said in a little more insistent way while standing up and grabbing the man's wrists.

Instantly, Tony's attention snapped back to Steve, maybe because of the use of his first name instead of the usual 'Mr Stark' or because Steve had touched him, but at least he had stopped talking. The blond slowly shook his head, looking in the teacher's wide chocolate eyes. So big at the moment, so brown and beautiful that Steve felt like he could drown in their pools.

"Don't force it out. It sounded perfectly fine the first time you said it, when you hadn't started to bother about it yet."

For a few seconds, both men stood in silence, looking at each other, Tony's wrists still in Steve's grip. Then, the teacher swallowed hard and let out a small yet sincere 'Thank you' and Steve just smiled and patted his cheek to lighten the mood. Tony snorted and pushed his hand away but cracked a little smile and continued:

"It was great, what you did tonight. When you just... When you didn't run away or anything when I showed you the reactor. When you just stayed with me, with your fascination and your comprehension and all those things that are so  _you,_ because somehow you knew that was just what I wanted, what I needed... It was great. I just thought I should let you know."

Steve could only smile and whisper that he was glad he had done the right thing. He slowly released Tony's wrists and watched as the man stood there, a little uncomfortable. The silence between them became heavy, Steve staring at the pyjama bottoms, a little voice in his head screaming at him to kick Tony out right now before it was too late. It wasn't right, they could not do that, they should not become closer, Steve hated Tony and Tony hated him and that was it. No more texting, never again, no more kissing either and Tony should definitely not be standing in his room like that with that slightly distraught look on his face. Steve didn't know what to think anymore. Tony Stark had a shitty personality, right? That was what he thought. Did he still think that? Sadly, the answer was no. Tony Stark was just a good guy with so many issues, a guy who had been broken so many times in his life and was trying to cope with his shattered soul, yet unable to put the pieces back together. Tony Stark was wounded to such an extent that Steve wasn't even able to measure. The teacher was hiding behind that cocky grin and the billionaire playboy was only a facade. There was so much more to him that Steve didn't know yet and he found out he was craving to get to know all of it. That was so bad.. And the sexting ... Oh gosh. Tony should leave right now.

"Well I'm glad I could help you a little and... And it was nice of you to come here and thank me, but I think you should..."

"Don't. Please don't say it. Don't even think about saying what I think you're going to say."

"Mr Stark..."

"I brought you something. You can't say no, right? Don't worry I didn't cook it, you're safe."

Food. Of course. Steve had noticed the odd relationship Tony had with food through the first months in his class. One day, the teacher had entered into a rage for a trifle and things had soon gotten nasty. The next morning, he had brought a ton of chocolate croissants in class and they had eaten while working in teams on a few problems, Tony walking around the class and stealing a bite or two here and there, mostly drinking coffee and peeking over their shoulders like he loved to do. Just that way, the last day's crisis was forgotten. Steve also had heard him talking on the phone, probably with that Pepper he kept talking about, and he was whining something like 'I was gonna make you an omelet and tell you!'. The tall blond wasn't sure he understood what was with the food and the way Tony seemed to use it to apologize or tell some big news or whatever other odd thing. He surely didn't ask Tony about that. Somehow he just felt like the food was a connexion, an excuse for Tony to get closer to people and spend time with them. Food was affection. Again, it was surprising to think that Tony Stark would lack affection, but the more Steve thought about it, the more it seemed accurate. Fans are not friends. Because people loved Tony didn't imply that they meant something to him or that they really loved him for who he was. What mattered to those people was that Tony was rich and famous and sexy as hell. The rest, they didn't care. They didn't get to see Tony's weaknesses, Tony's human side like Steve had seen that night. They weren't there to pick him up and put him back on solid ground. Steve wondered if Tony really had someone to do that. Pepper and he seemed to be pretty close, but it was hard to tell. And... And why was he even thinking about that? He didn't care that much about Tony, did he?

Steve found himself walking to the table after Tony had gestured towards it. He sat on one of the chairs and waited for the teacher to sit in front of him, giving him an uncertain smile. The man suddenly looked excited as he grabbed the cover of the trail and removed it, flashing Steve a warm and broad smile. The blond's eyes widened and he felt a hot burst of feelings hit him hard at the sight of what Tony had brought them. 

"I-I wrote that on the very first quiz! How do you even-"

"Remember that? I just do. I mean I almost gave you a hundred, I'll never forget that, it made me so mad!"

Steve chuckled at that confession and shook his head.

"You're crazy."

The trail was full of sandwiches cut in half. French toasts with a ton of whipped cream and caramel sauce and hot fudge. Very crazy indeed. He grabbed one piece and looked at Tony who had done the same.

"Together."

"Alright. On three. One... Two... Three!"

They both took a huge bite of their sandwich. Steve closed his eyes with an appreciative noise. The sweetness was everywhere, his tongue almost had trouble tasting everything, the flavors so intense and so overwhelming. He didn't wait long to engulf a second bite, caramel dripping on his fingers, making them all sweet and sticky but it was alright, he was making a mess and he didn't mind because Tony was doing just the same. There was no way they could eat that neatly. Tony already had a mix of whipped cream and caramel all over his fingers and was trying not to let any drop fall on his clothes. He suddenly started licking his fingers right in front of Steve's eyes and that was probably the most suggestive thing Steve had ever seen. He watched, eyes dark with desire, as Tony's tongue sensually swept away all the mixture on one of his fingers before the man put the second one in his mouth and slowly sucked it conscientiously. Nothing to help Steve control himself. 

_'I would finger you until you come apart, until you scream my name and ask for relief, and then I would stroke you fast and hard and you would come for me, yeah baby, you'd come all over my hand and I would lick my fingers clean just for you, I know that'd be enough to get you hard again, watching me suck on my fingers. I would have you suck them too... Then I would kiss you, let you taste yourself on my tongue...'_

NO!

Steve really needed to stop thinking about these fucking text messages! That freaking dirty talker could go to hell for being so damn seductive and charming and captivating, for saying and doing things like that and just for being himself, a guy that Steve was no longer able to hate and to whom he was more than attracted. Steve was so confused at the moment, torn between the way he felt about Tony and the immoral aspect of this attraction. He knew he could not succumb to the temptation. Tony was his teacher, Tony was way older than him and it was just so wrong... A part of Steve wanted to tell Tony that they were in fact texting each other and put an end to it. On the other hand, something more vicious in his soul wanted to keep Tony in the dark and continue the sexting and ask for more and more just to get the chance to at least fantasize about something he could never have. It was hard to deal with this and watching Tony who, oblivious to Steve's soul-searching, kept eating and licking his fingers and eating again only helped draw him towards the dark side.

_Yeah... Come to the dark side... We have Stony._

"Steve? Steve!"

Steve's attention snapped back to Tony and he noticed he had been holding a piece of his sandwich between the plate and his mouth for about a minute without taking a bite, staring into space. The man chuckled, the tip of his pinky finger caught between his teeth. 

"Hellooo sweetheart... Were you thinking about me, at least?"

He could not have been more right.

"Ye- Uh. I mean, I'm sorry I was just... It's late, or early I should say, I guess I'm just getting tired."

"Sure."

Tony grabbed his glass and gulped down his milk before smiling. Tony was so not buying it and Steve was pretty sure the teacher was also enjoying the blush creeping up along his student's neck and face. They had gone through most of the sandwichs but neither of them felt like they could eat more so they just sat there in silence. Thankfully, Tony's fingers couldn't be cleaner so he finally had stopped putting them in his mouth; Steve, on the other side, hadn't found the strength to lick his own sticky digits, in case it would put bad ideas in Tony's head. Fortunately, the man's attention was now all on the phone he had taken out of his pocket.

"Mr Stark..."

Tony locked eyes with him and Steve gulped. 

"I... I know you're texting... someone," Steve risked, finally going for the best option, the right thing to do.

"Well, obviously. I'm not talking to myself, not yet though. Well I do, sometimes, when I'm working, I mean not at school but I have that huge workshop-"

"Texting someone you don't know at all. Not even his name."

"-and sometimes I... Wait, what?"

There was a moment of silence, then Tony simply laughed.

"Alright, you were that close to make me believe you, you should become an actor or something, I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about and yet you almost made me believe it. You good, Blondie. Damn."

And just like that, he pressed the button to send the text message he had been typing. A split second later, they both heard Steve's cell phone ring on the bed. OK, why did he have to change the ringtone programmed for this unknown number and forget to put the phone back on silent mode? Really? Because it wasn't helping that his phone was now blasting 'Touch me, touch me, I wanna feel your body'. The tall blond flushed and stood up, muttering something about Clint and these tricks that he kept playing on him, some excuses to justify the situation, as he reached for his phone and looked at the message.

'Hey babe I'm eating that freaking calorie bomb right now, you have no idea, I'll need hours of sex to get rid of them... Care to help? What was the record already, three orgasms? I bet a picture of my dick that you can't make me come four times.'

Steve bit his lip. Was it bad that a part of him wanted to try really bad and maybe get that promised picture?

_'Touch me, touch me, I wanna feel your body!'_

Another message. The tall blond looked at it, his heart pounding in his chest.

'STEVE ROGERS...'

No. No no no. Not exactly the way he wanted to let Tony know what was going on! This text could only mean something: Tony had figured everything out. The capital letters? It sounded threatening. Immediately, Steve took a look at the table and a wave of stress struck him when he didn't see Tony there. Suddenly, a weight in his back threw him violently on the bed and a calloused hand gripped his hair, pulling his head back.

"When did you figure that out!? ANSWER ME!"

"A-AHG, th... I just discovered... a few hours ago..."

"Liar!"

Tony pulled a little harder on his hair and Steve groaned before deciding that he had had enough. He rolled over and heard Tony whimper when his whole body weight crushed him on the bed. Steve was now lying on his back, pinning Tony under him, feeling the teacher squirm and try to kick him with his feet, one hand pushing on Steve's shoulder to remove some of the pressure on his chest and make it easier to breathe.

"Son of a bitch..." he growled, struggling like crazy under his student, and then without warning he bit him at the junction between neck and shoulder and Steve let out a shrill cry as he instantly felt a throbbing pain- and maybe a hint of pleasure -,before rolling again and releasing Tony. The blond raised a hand to the bite mark, brushing his fingers over it. 

"What is wrong with you!? You can't just BITE people!"

"And you can't just SEXT YOUR TEACHER!"

Tony was on him again, never giving up, and clinging to each other they rolled on the bed. Tony was stronger that he appeared and his grip was strong. He would probably leave bruises on Steve's wrist if he kept going like that. 

"You started it!"

"And you replied!"

"You sent me  _pictures!_ "

"Shut the fuck up!"

And Tony's mouth was on his. Steve had no idea how they ended up like that, but it happened somehow, and Tony's mouth was aggressive and urgent, the kiss was laborious and full of teeth then Tony forced his tongue between Steve's parted lips and it became furiously languid and hot and wet. Refusing to surrender to the feelings that raged in him, Steve, all at once, bit Tony's tongue and watched the teacher pull back with a cry. Tony's eyes were dark, his anger more than noticeable, the man gasping for breath, his fists clenched. Before Steve could regain composure and try to settle things in a more peaceful manner, Tony gave him a punch that hit him directly on the chest. It seemed like all the air had escaped his lungs at once and Steve gasped, suffocating for an instant, struggling to catch his breath. As for Tony, he was frantically moving his hand, clenching and unclenching, whining like a child.

"Holy shit, I almost broke my hand, what the hell do you have in those pectorals, concrete?!"

Steve gave him a look, the corner of his lips curled slightly and he would have burst in laughter if Tony didn't seem so angry. He had no idea how the teacher could react and, even though there was a chance he would relax, the laugh could also ignite his anger and well, it was already bad enough. The blond only waited in silence, both man panting, defiantly looking at each other.

"How did you know?"

Tony's voice was calmer now. The calm before the storm? Steve sighed and slowly pushed Tony on his back, the man barely offering a resistance, then grabbed the waistband of his pyjama bottoms and pulled them down. As expected, Tony was still wearing this particular pair of underwear.

"These boxers. They're on half of the pictures."

Something flashed in Tony's eyes for an instant, but Steve couldn't really tell what it was. The man licked his lips and looked at the ceiling.

"I can't believe I... It can't be... No. No way..."

"... I know ..." Steve murmured.

What he hadn't expected was that this simple word would make Tony burst.

"NO YOU DON'T!"

"I'm pretty sure I-"

"NO! You have NO idea! You can't understand, you can't understand because you're Steve-Fucking-Rogers, the perfect guy with perfect hair and perfect eyes and fucking perfect body on which I almost fractured a hand and perfect behaviour and a whole bunch of friends and-"

"Mr Stark..."

"-You can't understand what this meant to me!"

Steve gulped and risked:

"Some... kind of fuckfriend?"

Ouch. Bad, bad idea. Steve instantly closed his eyes, waiting for a punch of something. The moment the words had escaped his lips, he had regretted them. Now it was too late and he realised he had probably hurt Tony so he figured out he deserved whatever Tony would do to him. Beat him or whatever, his words were unjustified and he should have made an effort to calm Tony down and understand what he meant. More than a friend-with-benefits, clearly. Tony seemed to be talking about a real friend, about someone  _important to him._  Eyes closed, Steve waited, waited for something that never came. Instead, he felt Tony's hot breath on his face, the sweet smell of it, and then there was a light brush of lips and some heat invaded his groin. 

"You're an asshole, Steve Rogers."

Their lips brushed with every word. Steve had opened his eyes and was now staring in Tony's dark ones, the man pinning him to the bed, but his grip more gentle this time.

"It wasn't just about the sex! I felt like I... Like I could just say whatever crossed my mind without being judged. Like we could talk just because we felt like talking and... There was someone who cared about me, Steve. There was someone out there that I didn't know and that person was talking to me every night and sometimes it felt like he was waiting for that moment just as much as I was... That guy made me laugh, he made me at ease, it was like ... one of the best things that ever happened to me. When people know me they never stay, Steve. They know about my past, they know about some of my bad habits and issues and that keeps them away. I cherished this relationship because that guy had no idea who I was and he didn't know about all the shit that I've done in my life so he just got to know me and like me for who I really am. Not for my money and hopefully not just for my body. He also didn't get to hate me because i'm Tony Stark, the greatest asshole of the United States of America, because he didn't know all that stuff. I don't want that to be over... Why does it have to be you... ? 

Tony stopped there, leaving his sentence unfinished, and Steve didn't need to be a genius to understand what Tony meant. He knew the man was afraid that, now that he knew who he was texting, Steve would just leave like all the others. That this would end. The blond bit his lip, looking at the man on top of him who seemed so fragile at this very moment. He only felt the urge to close his arms around him, hug him tightly and tell him everything would be fine, but he restrained himself. Steve could stay. Hell, he was still there after more than a month in Tony's class, if that wasn't a sign! The sexting wasn't necessary and Steve wasn't sure he could keep up with that, but they could still chat like they used too... No matter who Tony was, no matter what he had done or how much he was broken, Steve didn't mind. For him, he wasn't just Mr Stark anymore. He was Tony Stark, a friend he had made unconsciously via text messages. They had gotten along pretty well when they weren't aware of who the other was, which meant the problem occurred when they were facing each other. It suddenly appeared to Steve that maybe, just maybe, Tony was scared. He was scared as hell to let someone in, someone that was an actual person in flesh and bones and not some unknown guy on the phone that he would never meet. The others weren't the problem. Tony thought that HE was the problem, and kept people away from him, probably in an instinctive and unintentional way. Oh, Tony...

"Tony... Tony you're so wrong... What makes you believe that I-"

"Shhh..."

Tony didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to hear those sweet promises and false hopes, he didn't need that. Steve didn't try to push it and simply let Tony shut him up with a kiss. Slow and chaste at first, a gentle press of the lips to which Steve responded. Just once, he wanted to taste it just once, have Tony all for himself in the most intimate way because right now, at two in the morning in a hotel room in California, it felt right. Tony deepened the kiss, flicking the tip of his tongue against Steve's lips before slipping it inside and licking and tracing the inside of his mouth, sucking on the blond's tongue. It was still slow, but hotter, more wet, the heat growing in both their lower abdomen. Tony tasted like caramel and it was way more delicious on his tongue than in the sandwiches, in Steve's opinion. He gently pressed a hand to the back of his teacher's head and the other one to the small of his back, pulling Tony closer and enjoying the little grunt that escaped the man's lips when their hips met. Instinctively, Tony thrust his hips up and Steve felt it, the evidence of Tony's growing arousal pressed against his hipbone. The man was a mess in his arms, clinging to Steve's shoulders as he grind against him with despair, his face buried in Steve's neck. They hadn't bothered to remove their clothes, Tony still had his pants at knee-level and, in his boxers, he was rubbing himself on Steve's hip. The tall blond responded by gently rocking his hips and Tony gasped at the hot friction. Steve slipped a hand under Tony's tank top and rested in on the hot olive skin of his lower back, moving in time with Tony's thrusts and slowly allowing the humping to take his breath away and make him sigh with pleasure. As they quickened the pace, Steve couldn't tell if the noises Tony was making in his neck were actual sobs or just some chocked moans and sounds of pleasure. Maybe both. He didn't want to know. He only closed his eyes and pressed open-mouthed kisses to Tony's jaw, his hips jerking under Tony and finally, clenching his teeth to stifle his moan, he came in his sweatpants. One or two thrusts later, Tony stilled and cried out Steve's name without bothering to muffle the sound and fell back on the blond, panting heavily. Neither of them found the strength to move. Steve closed his arms around Tony and kept his eyes closed, letting the aftershocks of his orgasm cloud his brain and make him drift into sleep. 

When Steve woke up in the morning, the bed was still warm but Tony was gone. 

He hadn't found out if he could make him orgasm four times.

He wasn't sure how Tony was feeling right now and just how much the revelation had crushed and torn apart this little ephemeral happiness that the texting had procured him.

 

They avoided each other for the rest of the trip.

 

~~

 

"I tell you, Ms Potts, he came back from the school trip and then he just... disappeared."

"What do you mean he 'disappeared'?"

"He didn't show up to school this week. At all. Nobody has seen him since the trip. We tried to contact him, he never picked up his phone."

"He didn't answer my calls either but I thought he was just busy... It may be that, he must be caught in one of his projects and I'll find him sleep and food deprived, working on some new invention..."

"I truly hope it's the case. Fury wants him out right now, I'm doing by best to make him change his mind but you know how he is... Took me everything just so he would accept Stark as a teacher."

"I know, Phil, I know and I appreciate what you're doing. I'll go find Tony and make sure he apologizes."

"He'll hate that," smiled Coulson, "By the way. The tall blond I talked to you about came by my office three times this week to ask me how Mr Stark was doing and why he was absent. He seemed pretty concerned and I think that maybe this is finally beginning to show some results..."

"This is great. I'll see if I can find him and I promise he'll be back at school by Monday. Thank you, Phil."

"You're very welcome, Ms Potts."

Pepper hung up and took a deep breath. She hated so much to come back from a business trip only to learn that Tony had done something stupid again. She knew that Tony could be difficult to live with, that he could be a selfish little brat and that sometimes he was a disaster on two legs, but she also knew that Tony was not fine, not at all. He was unstable and fragile, especially since the... accident. He kept dwelling on the past and seemed to feel more lonely than ever. Even Pepper didn't know what to do anymore to help him overcome that incident who had been the straw that broke the camel's back. Tony Stark was nothing but a mere shadow of his former self. Pepper was always there for him and she knew that, in his own way, he was thankful, but it didn't seem to be enough. Of course she loved Tony and Tony loved her, but not like that. It couldn't work between them and they both knew it. Not that it kept Tony from flirting and not that it meant Pepper could  _always_  resist but one couldn't call that a relationship. They were friends. Besides her, Tony didn't have anybody else. She would save his precious ass again and again, try to cope with his mess, but she saw him sink a little more each day and could no longer handle that. Someone had to pick Tony up and help him back on his feet before it was too late. 

She didn't find Tony working on a project like she expected. She didn't find him curled up in a ball under a freezing shower or drunk in bed with a few girls. She didn't find him at all.

 

~~

 

Monday morning.

The whole class whined when they saw the substitute teacher enter the class once again. They were all getting tired of him and they had hoped Tony would be back but it seemed that he wasn't. Nobody could tell why he was absent but sure thing was, it didn't please them at all. Steve couldn't help but worry because, really, he was there to see Tony break down and now the teacher had just disappeared without leaving a trace. Everybody started working but their heart weren't in it. Suddenly, a knock on the door and a minute later, the substitute teacher turned away from the door frame and gestured towards Steve.

"Someone for you. Grab your stuff, you probably won't have time to come back in class."

The blond frowned but did as he was asked and walked out of the classroom. He then faced a tall red-haired woman who smiled at him.

"Steve Rogers, right? I'm Pepper Potts."

Steve's eyes widened as he recognized the name.

"Oh. Nice to meet you ma'am."

"The pleasure is mine. I would like to talk with you, if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

He followed her to an empty classroom and sat beside her. She smiled at him but looked concerned at the same time. Steve was pretty sure he sported the same expression.

"It's... It's about Tony. I heard you were his favorite (Steve raised his eyebrows at that) and I was... hoping you could help me. You probably have noticed that Tony is... that he has his demons-"

Steve saw that she seemed reluctant and that she tried really hard not to say too much. She looked like a really great woman and Tony was really lucky to have her by his side. She was so loyal...

"I think I know more that you can imagine, ma'am. He told me some. The rest, I guessed it. I know about the, uh, the reactor. He showed it to me even though he didn't tell me what happened. He, uh, showed up totally hungover once and I bet it wasn't the first or the last time he drank that much. Basically I just feel like he's been through a lot of hard things and he clearly needs help because... Because sometimes he just gets so emotional and he breaks down and I... I-I didn't mean to... I didn't know what to do and I let him go and now he..."

"Steve. Steve, please. Did something happen there?"

"I-I can't talk about it. He wouldn't want me to. But... We got... Closer. Unconsciously. You know, when hate suddenly becomes love, or, or something like that... I think we were friends. Somehow. We got along pretty well, as weird as it seems. Maybe it frightened him and now he thinks that I will leave because he's a big mess and I don't even know how he gets these ideas, but he does... It's bad, ma'am..."

"Tony often mentioned a boy. A nice, sweet blond guy that he kept talking about as if he was the best. I saw him sitting on the couch for hours, only texting and smiling and laughing. I had not seen him that happy for a long time. I think you're good to him, Steve. I don't know what happened there and I don't want to know, but when Tony comes back... Please, please Steve... Put him back together... I'm not the one who will tell you about his life, but some really, really bad things happened to him and when Phil told me that there was in one of the classes here the nicest guy he had ever seen, I just convinced him and the principal to engage Tony as a teacher so he could enjoy a good influence... Clearly, he needs more than that. Can you give it to him?"

Steve bit his lip. Put Tony back together... That wasn't an easy task, but he was willing to try. He didn't see Tony the same way now and realized that he cared a lot about him. More than he had thought. He could not just walk away and act as if the man wasn't in distress. Whatever the teacher could say, he wasn't fine and Steve would help him. Oh yes, he would!

"I'll do my best, ma'am. I won't let him down. I promise. I'll bring him back- the Tony you know."

"He doesn't have to know that we talked, alright?"

"Sure, ma'am."

"Please, call me Pepper."

 

~~

 

It had been almost two weeks now. 

Steve had tried to send Tony a text message once, but the teacher hadn't responded and the blond hadn't pushed further. It frightened him not to hear about Tony at all. He might be dead and they wouldn't know!  _Alright, Steve, calm down, Tony is perfectly fine- Well, as fine as he can be. You know what you mean. He's alive at least. Physically._

Steve looked up from the huge poster he was drawing. Leaving for a few days on a school trip had some consequences, like catching up to do in his classes. That explained why he was still there, an hour and a half after the last class of the day, almost alone in the school except for a few students working on their art project right next to him. Maybe it was time for him to leave. He had worked hard and he was almost done, he could arrive earlier tomorrow morning and finalize it. Steve set is pencil down on the desk and straightened. Stretching, he glanced at the clock and yawned. Almost six o' clock. He should definitely leave. Waving at his art teacher, he grabbed his backpack and left the classroom. Walking in the hallway, he suddenly heard some music coming from the room nearby. All the art classes were close, it was probably just someone in music class playing the piano, not a big deal, but he felt attracted to the music and ended up in front of the door, left ajar. Trying to peek inside without disturbing the player, he held his breath. Suddenly, a beautiful, perfect, slightly husky voice rose, singing the lyrics to a song Steve didn't know, but the feelings were so intense that he felt something tighten in his chest. That man was playing with his heart, with his soul, and it was beautiful. So, so beautiful. Especially when he recognized the voice, when it began the second line:

"Seems I always end up driving by..."

Steve slowly pushed to door open a little and sneaked in, closing it behind him and leaning against the wall in the dim light, silently. His eyes observed the man who was now singing the words 'Ever since I've known you, it just seems you're on my way'. A strong back, dark brown hair, calloused hands seeming to float on the notes as he played.  _Gosh,_  Tony Stark was gorgeous. And his voice... It was already sexy enough when he was talking, but when he was singing, it was like... heaven...

The man abruptly stopped and Steve froze. His smile slowly vanished and he took a step forward. 

"I didn't know you were spying on me..."

Steve sighed and closed the distance between him and the teacher. The man refused to look at him and his gaze stayed focused on the piano as Steve sat beside him on the piano's bench.

"I wasn't. And  _I_ didn't know you could sing. Or play the piano."

"Surprise."

I was so relieving to see him right there, to know that he was not injured or anything. He didn't look so bad and he didn't smell like alcohol at all which meant he was sober. Steve could not have hoped to find him in a better shape. Slowly, he took one of Tony's hands, tightening his grip when the teacher tried to pull back, and with a finger he followed his palm lines.

"I missed you..." he murmured.

Tony finally raised his head and looked at him. There were worrying dark circles under his eyes, he probably lacked sleep but there was sincere and pure joy in his eyes, nude and innocent, almost afraid. Steve smiled and locked eyes with him.

"I didn't get the chance to tell you that I never planned on leaving. You're my teacher, so what? You've got issues, so what? It happens to everybody. I don't fucking care. We can be friends, we can be whatever you want, but please, tell me you'll stop hating on yourself and you won't try to keep me away from you. Please."

"You're pretty stubborn, Blondie. And so freaking stupid. I guess I like that."

Steve's smile widened when he saw the corners of Tony's mouth curl up a bit. There was so much more to be done, nothing was solved yet but it already felt like a victory because Tony hadn't said no. If he was willing to give them a chance, then maybe it could work. Steve would make it work. He promised.

"Play something for me."

Tony blinked, surprised. His mother had taught him the piano when he was a child but now he didn't play much, even though there was a beautiful grand piano in his house. It was already something that Steve had found him while he was playing- and singing, oh gosh -but now he was requesting something?! Oh shit...

"I... I don't know."

"Please. Tony. Sing for me."

The man gulped and looked at the notes. Steve slowly released his hand and he placed it, playing a few notes, trying to remember a melody. He then cracked a smile.

"Alright."

And he did. He played and he sang, because Steve had asked him to, because it was Blondie and only him, his perfect student with concrete pecs and big blue eyes. Every breath you take. 

He stopped when he suddenly felt Steve's head rest on his shoulder. He could almost feel the blond smile.

"Stalker song..."

"What!? You were spying on me!"

"I wasn't," Steve replied with a smile.

"Shut up..." 

And Tony rested his head on his, and his arm found its place around Steve's waist, and it was just perfect like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you guys love that chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

"Welcome, Mr Rogers."

The voice, coming from the ceiling, had a British accent. Taken aback, the blond glanced towards Tony who had already discarded his shirt on the floor, randomly, and was now wandering around in tank top. The man looked up and smiled.

"Blondie, meet Jarvis. You can say hi, he won't bite, he can't."

When Steve didn't say anything and simply looked at him as if he was crazy, he sighed.

"Fine, Jarvis you were right, seems like I can't introduce you to people without explanations. People are so narrow-minded..."

"Who is Jarvis?"

"My buddy. Jarvis is my artificial intelligence. I built it and installed it in the whole house. Now you don't have to act as if he has feelings but don't feel stupid talking to the ceiling, it's not really like you're talking to yourself since he answers."

"It is nice to finally meet your, Mr Rogers."

"Uh. Nice to meet you too, Jarvis. I guess. I'm ... not sure how to act towards you right now, I'm, uh, sorry."

Now he was apologizing to a computer, or a robot, or whatever it was. An AI. What did that mean exactly? To what point was that thing intelligent?

"It's just ... It feels ... odd."

"It is usually the effect I have on people, Sir."

"Well I guess I shouldn't be too surprised... We are talking about Tony here. Of course he built something like that."

"Of course."

Steve started walking around a little bit, looking everywhere. Tony's house was beautiful. Big for nothing but modern, spacious and beautiful. He bent to pick up Tony's shirt on the floor in the middle of the room but resisted the urge to bury his nose in it. Tony was nowhere to be seen but he felt like Jarvis could see him and it was embarrassing. Instead, he left it on a armchair and looked up.

"Where did Tony go?"

"To his room, Sir. I shall guide you."

Under the guidance of Jarvis, Steve found the room in no time. The first thing he noticed was Tony sprawled on the bed, not even under the sheets, his face buried in a pillow. He seemed sound asleep and that simple fact made Steve smile. It was early, around 8pm, but the man clearly needed some rest. This was one reason why Steve had agreed to bunk over. He wanted to make sure Tony would eat first- they had stopped for a cheeseburger before coming here -and then that he would get some sleep. Smiling, the tall blond went to sit on a chair in the room, not quite tired enough to go to sleep now. He would look for a guest room later, he had figured there would be plenty of them judging by the size of the house. Fumbling for some paper and pencils in his backpack, he sat there in silence in the dim light and he drew. Nothing precise, contours and shadows, the hint of a dark eye glowing with subtle salaciousness. He spent most of his time looking at Tony, really. Especially when the man began to move. Not a lot, just enough to draw Steve's attention to him. Then he groaned in the pillow, his breathing became shallow and fast, coming in little pants and gasps and soon Tony clearly seemed to be experiencing a nightmare. Steve watched, torn between the idea of going to try and calm him down or that to remain seated and wait to see what would happen. He didn't want to look like the too worried kid who's crazy about his sexy teacher. Everybody has nightmares and Tony would be totally fine. With this idea in mind, Steve kept drawing until, suddenly, Tony stopped panting. At first, the blond thought it was finally over and he looked up to see. However, judging by the look on Tony's face, the man didn't seem fine at all. Steve shifted uncomfortably, it really itched to stand up and get closer to Tony. He was so calm now that Steve couldn't even hear him breathe, yet he looked tensed, troubled, panicked. Out of a sudden, Tony's upper body jerked forward and the man let out a husky rattle, gasping for breath. This lasted for a few seconds before, with a choked sound, he was back to silence. This time, Steve jumped to his feet and quickly went to the bed. Leaning over Tony, he held his own breath and listened. Nothing. Nothing at all. Alarmed, he ran his fingers under the teacher's nose; no sign of breathing. _What the hell is happening?! He's fucking dying!_

"Tony!"

Steve grabbed the genius by the shoulders and shook him a little. Was that some kind of sleep apnea, where people just randomly stop breathing for whatever reason? It was scary. He had to wake Tony right now. His fingers clenching by themselves, he repeated Tony's name once, twice, still shaking him. Tony's eyes finally shot open and he straightened himself in one motion, still fighting for air, choking and panting and trying to scream at the same time. He was soaked with sweat and when his body met Steve's one on top of him, he tried to jerk away. The tall blond grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer, ignoring his complaints. Tony looked like he was having some kind of panic attack and he struggled against Steve to break free.

"D-Don't! Not again, n-n- ... Let m-me breathe!" he managed to yell, Steve's eyes widening instantly.

Why was Tony asking for some air like that, why had he stopped breathing for no apparent reason and why was he so scared at this very moment? Steve couldn't tell, but he knew he had to do something. He cup Tony's face with one hand, trying to lock eyes with him. When soft blue met chocolate brown, he held Tony this way so he would have no choice but to look at him.

"Tony! Tony, it's me, it's Steve... You're fine, nothing bad is gonna happen to you, it's just you and me..."

"... S-Steve?"

"Yeah... There you go, that's it, easy ... Stay with me Tony, look at me, just like that ..."

He could slowly feel the teacher's body relax against him, his solid grip on Steve's biceps loosening and finally, Tony calmed down. His eyes gained some focus and he kept staring at Steve as if to convince himself that he was really there with him, that nothing bad was happening. Gently, the blond brushed Tony's sweaty hair back with his hand, looking at him with a little concern. In an attempt to help him a little more, he pulled Tony closer and let him bury his face in his neck. There.

"Just try and concentrate on my breathing. Inhale ... Exhale ..."

Steve waited like that until Tony wasn't wheezing anymore, until his breathing was regular again. Something was wrong with this, he had never seen a nightmare cause so much trouble to someone. People kept mentioning 'Bad things' when it came to Tony, things they never talked about, but that seemed to be of a very serious matter. It was now confirmed. Tony wasn't fine at all. He wouldn't tell to what extent, he acted as if it wasn't that serious, he kept that to himself. Steve wondered with horror if his teacher was experiencing something similar every night, all alone, desperate and lost, without telling anyone.

"Steve..." Tony said hoarsely.

The student tilted his head to meet his eyes and found them watery. Once Tony had his attention, he didn't say anything else. He just looked at Steve, trying his best not to cry, fingers clenching in the blond's undershirt. Steve stared back. For a long time. Then:

"Don't."

"What?"

"Steve, don't. Don't look at me that way. Don't look at me as if you cared. I don't need your pity and I can handle myself, thank you very much."

His voice cracked and broke to a near whisper:

"I think you should go."

Steve's grip tightened on his friend.

"No. You don't understand, Tony. I won't go. I do care. When are you going to believe me? What will I have to do!? You may have trouble trusting people, but please, Tony... I'm serious. I won't let you down, do you hear me?"

There was a long moment of silence during which Tony only looked away. When Steve gave him a little more space, he wiped his eyes with the back of one hand then took his head in his hands and rubbed his temples slowly. Steve was still sitting on the bed next to him, staying out of his personal space, but really it didn't bother Tony when he was closer, didn't bother him at all. He wasn't able to understand why his student was here with him, but even if he wasn't saying it, he was thankful. He wanted to trust Steve. Insecurities are just one hell of a thing. Tony couldn't do anything about it except give himself some time and try to get over it. No pressure at all. Well in fact, it was true, there was no pressure. Steve wasn't asking, Steve was just staying even though he had no idea what was happening. That kid was incredibly precious...

"Kidnapping."

Steve blinked, confused.

"Excuse me?"

"That's what happened. One incident among many others. The biggest one actually."

He could see that Steve was waiting for him to add something, to explain the situation a little more, but he felt like his voice would crack and that he would fall apart so he shook his head. Warm fingers brushed his knee and he shivered under the light touch. Aright, big mouth. Spill it out.

"On day, some people handed me some papers and stuff saying that I had to go in Afghanistan to present some kind of new engineering of Stark Industries and... so I went. And uh ... There was an ambush. Theses guys just came out of the blue and things exploded everywhere, and when I tried to run away, I was critically wounded. As in, shrapnel in my chest and blood everywhere. Now you know about the reactor so I'll just skip that part where I found myself hooked up to a car battery so the electromagnet in my chest would keep the shrapnel they couldn't remove from killing me. Now as you see I improved the technology, but that's not the point of this story so I should just, uh, move on to the, the ... the, most important, well, part of ..."

Another brush of Steve's fingers on his knee. Tony bit his lip, eyes tightly shuts and breathing unsteady. Because he needed it, because he wanted to feel Steve with him, he reached for the student's hand and ran his fingertips on the skin of Steve's palm. He then interlace their fingers and sucked on a breath when Steve's thumb started caressing his skin in small circles. Incredibly precious indeed...

"I woke up in a cave. They were terrorists, Steve, they wanted me to ... to build weapons for them. They wanted to use my knowledge to _kill_ people. I didn't want to, obviously. They ... They did ... things ... You can't imagine, you just can't conceive that humans can do such things to other human beings. I got beaten, I got tortured, they ... They plunged my head under water again and again..."

"Tony..."

"And I was attached to a fucking car battery, speak about a heart condition, gosh! They could've killed me so many times, all they had to do is pull all those wires and bye-bye, but they wanted me alive, and that wasn't better at all. You have no idea how hard it was, I-I-I was so fucking scared Steve, you don't know what it is to live like that, to wonder if you'll ever see the sun again, wonder if you'll ever see the people you care about, the people you love ... I was in the dark, I had no idea what could happen to me and yet they always managed to make things worse and at some point I just thought it was over ... There was nothing more I could do. I could no longer fight them. Game over. They had won."

He fell silent. Steve remained quiet, looking at his teacher, noticing how his lower lip was trembling and how his eyes shined with unshed tears. The blond kept running his thumb on Tony's skin at a slow and comforting pace, murmuring:

"I'm sorry... I-I didn't know you had been through so... Inhuman... things ... I'm so sorry Tony."

The man shook his head. Steve didn't need to apologize, it wasn't his fault, he hadn't even asked. Tony himself was the only responsible for the state he was in now, because he was the one who started talking about it. It was so hard, but somehow, it felt good to spill it out. There are things that, when kept just for yourself, can only poison you. You have to let them out, free your mind and move on. Not that it was easy, but talking about the kidnapping was the first step towards the recovery. Well, maybe. At least that was the way Tony felt it. That was probably what Pepper would say, too. So he was talking, he was telling his student- His student for god's sake, and he was supposed to hate him, how did things changed so fast?

"For once in my life, I wasn't on top ... I failed. That's just what I am, really. A failure who hides behind a sassy, self-centered, womanizer facade."

"Tony that's not true."

"What do you know about that? You have no idea, Steve Rogers. You don't know anything about me. You think you do, but let me tell you, this is _bullshit_."

"Don't say that, I know it's not true. There are those times when you lower your guard and let me see what's hidden behind the mask ... There's a great guy in there, Tony, and you're right, maybe I don't know much about him, but from what I've seen, he's definitely worth it."

"You're saying that because I'm right there crying and whining in your arms and 'cause I'm telling you that shitty story about how screwed my life is. Even my dad knew my case was hopeless. It's about time you wrap your head around the idea. There is no 'happy ending' for me, and it you keep staying around me then there won't be one for you either. Gosh, you deserve your happy ending so get the fuck out! Move that pretty ass and make something good with your life!"

"Is that what you want?"

He watched as Tony gulped. The teacher then nodded after a brief hesitation. Steve didn't resist at all and released him, standing up in one motion, and Tony again understood why he hated that student so much at first. How can someone be so perfect? He was always so nice and never, ever tried to make Tony do or say things that he really didn't want to. He was understanding... He was the best thing that ever happened to Tony, after Pepper and Rhodey. He was a ... he was a friend. He liked him. Oh gosh, he did like Steve. _Shit_.

"Then, I'll go. I won't force you to anything. I won't try to make you change your mind, I think you're old enough to take decisions by yourself and if you think this is the best thing for you ... Just think about it, quick, because if I walk out this door, I won't come back. I'm serious."

Steve then turned and grabbed his backpack. He started walking towards the door, Tony's eyes following him intensely. He could not do that. Steve was bluffing, he would not leave because he was, well, he was too nice to leave someone behind like that and act as if he didn't care. Was he? Or maybe Tony was wrong about him. He didn't know his student that much... More than usual teachers know their students, but that didn't mean anything, right? Anyway. Steve could not do that. But then, why was he dangerously close to do so?

Once Steve was out of the room, the teacher jumped to his feet and ran after him. Steve hadn't reached the front door when Tony barked:

"Blondie!"

The tall blond froze, but didn't turn around. In a breathless moan, Tony let out:

"Please, don't go ..."

A few seconds elapsed before Steve turned around and flashed him a smile, all sweet and full of rainbows and sunshine.

"I was not going to," Steve answered and crap, that guy, he was just so... AH!!

Tony didn't move, only waited for Steve. When the student was standing just in front of him, he smacked him behind the head and gave him a dirty look.

"Never. EVER. Do that to me again."

Steve only smiled.

 

 

"So yeah ... Basically... That's where my, uh, 'Don't-hand-me-things' complex comes from. Because that's where everything started. Well, I always had the predisposition in me, somewhere. I don't like to be told what to do or how to do it, and I don't like it when people hand me the answers. I'm clearly a do-it-himself kind of person and... and all my life I've grown up in my father's shadow. Everything has been handed to me my whole damned life! My education, my money, this freaking company and all the reputation that comes with the name I've also been given ... Stark. Just because I'm Tony Stark and my father was Howard Stark! But since the kidnapping... Since than man gave me these papers about that business trip in Afghanistan... Because of what happened, my mind just freaked out and it became worse."

"It's alright, Tony. I don't mind and you know that. I'm... Really glad you told me about it. Glad you put so much trust in me. And let me tell you... Hitting bottom is a good thing, because there's nowhere to go but up."

Tony didn't say anything and only buried his face in Steve's neck. He wanted to say he was happy that Steve was with him now. He wanted to say how much he was scared at first that the blond would actually leave, that he would let him down because he was so fucked up and he had so many issues... But Steve didn't seem to mind. Tony couldn't express just how glad he was. He wasn't the one to talk about the way he felt. He only rubbed his nose gently against Steve's skin.

They were lying side by side on Tony's bed. Of course, Steve had let the teacher drag him there. It wasn't bad at all to have the man lying right next to him in only his black sweatpants. Steve could feel Tony's body heat, warm skin against his own, their arms touching and Tony's face in his neck. It felt great. Then Tony started nipping at his collarbone and his jaw, and it felt awesome. Steve couldn't remember how he ended up with no t-shirt but it happened somehow before Tony had him lie on the bed with him and now the teacher had full access. Maybe it wasn't right, no, clearly it wasn't, but when Tony flicked his tongue around his nipple, Steve did not even think about protesting. He bit his lip, watching how the man worked his way from his nipple to his neck, leaving a hot and wet path on his skin before nuzzling his Adam's apple.

"Tony..."

"Lemme..." the man mumbled against Steve's neck and the blond snorted.

"Tony we can't."

"What is wrong with you? You're a young man, you're twenty-one, what's wrong with your hormones!? Come on, we could screw like rabbits."

"Tony. You can just say 'Thank you, I think I like you, Blondie, you know' and that would be alright."

Tony didn't reply and Steve knew that he had hit the nail on the head. Flirting was just Tony's way to express his gratitude and his affection, because he didn't know any other way or wasn't used to them. It wasn't a big problem, Steve thought, they would take care of that. Together. At least Tony stopped licking at his Adam's apple which was good because Steve started to love it a little too much.

"You should get some sleep."

Tony nodded and turned his back to Steve, lying on his side. The student understood immediately. Alright, if someone had told him that one day he would spoon with Tony Stark, he would have laughed. Now he simply lay cuddling into Tony's back, an arm around his waist, their bodies closer than needed. Not even a minute later, Tony shifted uncomfortably.

"I can't. You stay here and sleep, you have school tomorrow. I'll go in my workshop. I won't disturb you, I promise."

"You're not going anywhere."

"Steve I can't sleep. These nightmares keep me up all night so if I have to be sleep deprived, I will at least choose to avoid the nightmares and use my time wisely instead of losing it."

"Anthony Edward Stark, you will stay in this bed and sleep. End of story."

To Steve's surprise, Tony didn't even try to argue more. He only mewled disapprovingly, but when Steve slowly pet his hair a little and murmured softly 'I will still be here in the morning...' the teacher stilled in the blond's arms and closed his eyes. Steve listened to his calm and steady breathing, tightening his hold and waiting. He didn't want to be the first one to fall asleep so he waited until the man in his arms stopped fighting against sleep, when his fatigue got the better of him. After that, it didn't take long for Steve to drift into sleep. Only once, Tony moved a little and let out a small whimper, but Steve, unconsciously, squeezed him harder and he stopped. He remained calm for the rest of the night.

 

"Good morning Mr Rogers."

Steve was barely awake and jumped at the voice, before realizing who it was. Oh right. Jarvis. Warm bed. Tony's house... Where was Tony?

"Mr Stark is in the kitchen. He woke up fourteen minutes ago after sleeping for eight hours and forty-six minutes. This is approximatively the amount of sleep he got during the entire last week, and is also his longest night since a month."

"... Thank you, Jarvis..."

"It's a pleasure, Mr Rogers. I figured you might want the information."

Undaunted by these alarming facts, Steve smiled proudly at the thought that he had managed to make Tony sleep. He had spent a pretty good night and he would certainly feel better this morning, which was really great. If Tony continued like this, he would feel great in no time and be able to face the most serious problems. They would get through it, together, they would make it.

Steve stood up and stretched. He then grabbed his clothes and put them on before going to the kitchen. He found Tony sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee, abstractedly watching the news on the TV. When he heard Steve coming, he glanced towards him and a broad smile stretched his lips. And what a smile...

"Blondie! I felt like a superhero this morning and for a moment I was so motivated I thought I would make breakfast, then I remembered just how bad I am at cooking. BUT, but... I went out and got us some muffins! They're the best muffins in the world. I haven't eaten such a good muffin in my whole life. Here, catch!"

Steve reacted fast enough to catch the muffin Tony had thrown at him and looked up with a smile, walking to the counter the man was sitting on. Tony seemed better. Maybe it was all fake, who knows, but Steve decided to believe it wasn't.

"Nobody has to see us arrive together. I think you should go, Happy can drive you home, and I'll see you later in class."

"Alright. You'll show up, right? Promise?"

Tony caught Steve's little finger with his own and smiled again.

"Pinky promise."

"Great. I'll see you there, then."

"You're not forgetting anything?"

Steve frowned, looking at the man. Tony then bat his eyelashes- literally _bat his ridiculously long eyelashes_ at him and heat instantly invaded his belly. Without a word, the tall blond grabbed the teacher by his tie and pulled him closer for a peck on the lips. Tony groaned and tried to deepen the kiss but Steve pulled back and gave him an amused smile.

"See ya."

"I'll have my real kiss by the end of the day."

"Sure Tony, sure."

 

Tony really showed up at school that morning. And the morning after. The whole week, the whole month. Needless to say, the students were excited to see him again and things couldn't be better. Tony did get his real kiss that day, when he cornered Steve at lunch time.

The student slept over regularly and Tony's sleeping habits became more regular. He was able to sleep even when Steve wasn't there, despite some awakenings from time to time. He had a whole new energy and his mood improved considerably. The fact that Steve would spend the night with him three to four times a week helped frankly and, as they got to know each other, Steve noticed they way Tony trusted him more and more. They talked about his father. More than twice. Tony told Steve about his childhood, Steve talked about how he lost his parents when he was young. Tony was strangely understanding, even sympathetic. Well. He knew too well what it feels like to lose your parents, or to feel all alone in the world. They spent rainy afternoons speaking about their lives and comforting each other. It was almost exactly like the texting, except it was more real. They laughed and talked and laughed again, sitting on Tony's couch, watching movies and eating pizza, sometimes they surrendered to their sexual impulses and exchanged a few kisses, but remained at the stage of friendship... with a few extras. Because really, you don't suck and tug on your friend's lip or flick your tongue against them. But Steve and Tony were friends, right? They hadn't agreed on more than that and anyway, that kissing thing didn't happen that often, really... Did it?

 

~~~

 

'Hello sweetheart =)'

A smiley face. Bad omen.

'Good afternoon, Tony.'

'How are you? =)'

'Good. What about you?'

'Good =)'

'Are you drunk?'

'WTF no, why?'

'You were being weird.'

'No I wasn't =)'

Steve rolled his eyes. This man was so unpredictable and with all these smileys, Steve has no idea what to think.

'What do you want, Tony?'

'I pick you up at five. Wear a suit =)'

Steve's eyebrows shot up and he vigorously shook his head. No. No way. Going out with Tony to one of these parties were he wouldn't fit, all too fancy and expensive and showy for him? Perish the thought! Only, he couldn't really tell Tony that, could he? It was a little rude and he didn't want to hurt him.

'I don't have any.'

'What????????'

'Gosh Tony, calm down with the punctuation! ... Fine. I have one.'

'Wear it. Golden tie. Be ready =)'

 _Shit_.

 

Tony really was gorgeous in his impeccable gray suit and white shirt. He even got out of the car and actually knocked at Steve's door, Steve slightly embarrassed because it was Clint who opened the door and started to pass all kind of comments about how they were adorable. _Oh please. Just go to that weird Christmas party of yours with Natasha and leave us alone, it's not a date Clint, no we are not together, he's just a friend and, Jesus, stop wagging your eyebrows!!_ Steve hurried his teacher outside and inhaled deeply.

"He's a jerk, gosh..."

"He's cute. Plus, he's right, we _are_ adorable."

Tony flashed him a smile and Steve shook his head, the corners of his lips curling up a bit. He then looked more closely at Tony and understood why the golden tie. Tony wore a red one. Of course. Concept. If the man hadn't been staring at him that way, his eyes so dark and eager, he would have made a comment about that.

"You're gorgeous, Blondie."

He was only wearing a simple black suit and a black shirt, with his golden tie. Not as expensive and classy as Tony's but it still looked really good on him. With his neat blond hair, his gorgeous blue eyes and his broad shoulders, Steve Rogers had no idea how good-looking he was.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

They got into Tony's car. Tony couldn't help but smirk while Steve tried to focus on something else than the teacher's intoxicating manly smell. Then, Tony's hand ended up on Steve's thigh and he absentmindedly ran his fingers on it, knowing by the way the blond suck on a breath that he liked it. He kept going, one hand on the wheel, the other caressing his way up Steve's thigh and getting closer and closer to his groin. It was driving Steve crazy.

"Tony..."

"Spread your legs, Blondie..." the teacher whispered in a slightly husky voice.

"Keep your eyes on the road," Steve mumbled, still obeying.

Soon enough, Tony's hand was right between Steve's legs, massaging his hardening cock through his pants. Steve had no idea why he was letting him do it, why right now and not during one of the many times he had slept at Tony's. Yet, he wanted it so much that he didn't say anything and let him do it. It lasted only a few minutes, just enough to make him really, really horny, then Tony stopped and parked the car. Damn it. At least he gave him some time to calm down...

"Alright, Steve, look at me. It's Christmas Eve. Have fun, enjoy yourself and please, keep that beautiful smile of yours and everything's gonna be perfect. Great?"

"I'm not sure, Tony, I mean..."

"Please. Do it for me. And later I'll take you to my place, I actually got you a present. Sounds good?"

"Not like you're giving me the choice..."

Tony smiled and leaned closer for an Eskimo kiss, gently rubbing his nose against Steve's. When he spoke, his voice was low, barely a murmur:

"I love you."

He then pulled back, opened the door and got out of the car before Steve could answer. Stunned, the blond slowly got out of the car and tried to catch Tony's eyes, but the man was already heading towards the doors with a confident attitude, full of elegance. Had he really said 'I love you'? Maybe, maybe not... It still sounded like that to Steve and gosh, it felt really good in his chest, warm and blissful. Chasing that thought away for the moment, Steve almost ran to catch up with Tony, not ready to be left alone in there. The teacher grabbed him by the arm and drag him through the crowd, smiling to everybody, nodding sometimes or waving at someone. The first thing Steve knew, they were standing beside Pepper and Tony was in big conversation with her. Alright. _Champagne, Mr Stark? Sure, I'll get you one since you appear to have completely forgotten me!_

When Steve came back five minutes later, Tony had not even seemed to realize his absence. In a fluke, his eyes suddenly met the student's ones and he noticed the champagne flutes. Steve handed him one and he took it with a broad smile.

"Thanks sweetheart!"

"I think I'll-"

But Steve stopped himself because he no longer had Tony's attention. Alright. Then he would just go sit somewhere and wait. Next to that very huge Christmas tree, why not? Freaking boring soiree...

 

"Tony, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"You just accepted that champagne flute Steve handed you, without a word, without hesitation..."

Tony's smiled slowly faded under Pepper's piercing gaze.

_"You like him!"_

"He... He's important," Tony muttered, looking away, and Pepper swore she saw a faint blush creep up the man's face.

"Then what are you doing here?"

Tony's eyes came back to her face and she smiled at him. He looked confused.

"Go spend some time with your date. It's Christmas, Tony, you can't leave the guy alone... Make him feel important."

"But you know I can't, Pep, I'm bad at this! You remember our first Christmas together?! Because I don't, I was totally wasted. Shit, this is a bad idea..."

Okay, Pepper did not sympathize with him. In fact, she rolled her eyes with discouragement and pushed him towards the tables, and fuck, now he couldn't back down. Acting casually, his hands in his pockets, he went straight to the table where Steve was sitting. Leaning on it, resting on his arms and facing the blond, he gave him his most captivating glance. Steve smiled, of course he smiled, because nobody can resist to Tony Stark. In his turn, he leaned on the table and brought his face close to Tony's. The teacher smiled, one of his sweet and irresistible smiles that always made Steve feel good.

"Hey there..." Tony whispered, his warm breath caressing Steve's skin.

The blond tilted his head, but before he could reach Tony's lips, the man straightened all of a sudden, his eyes wide and sparkling with a cheerful glow.

"Be right back."

And just like that he was gone, running after someone in the crowd, and Steve slumped back in his chair with a sigh.

 

"Rhodey!!"

The man stopped walking and turned, just in time to see Tony catching up with him. He instantly spread his arms and Tony did just the same, both men hugging friendly, the billionaire gently tapping his friend's back with a broad smile.

"God, I missed you! It's been a long time! Like what, three months?"

"I can't quite say I missed you, Tony, but it was surely more boring without you around," playfully retorted the man.

"Aw, you sure missed me. How was it? Have you heroically accomplished your mission, Colonel Rhodes?" It was great to see the men together, all smiles and happy to see each other.

"I did my best as usual. I bet you got yourself into trouble during my absence..."

"Oh! You won't believe it. I have to teach stats! Yes, teach, Rhodey, teach! Me! Let me tell you, I didn't get the choice! You know that guy, Nick Fury? Gosh he's scary, he got so mad at me after the last Stark Expo and he told me 'I have enough of your motherfucking shit, Stark, you've done enough for now and it's time you take a break. You'll teach at my school and don't even think about arguing or I'll bust a cap in your ass and you'll regret it'. Or something like that, you know. I'm sure he's also a secret agent. I mean come on, look at him, he can't just be a fucking school principal! He must be for the FBI."

"Sure, Tony, sure..."

"I'm serious Rhodey! He knew about so many things I did, it almost looked like he had a file about me and spied on me. He said he had informations and I freaked out and I said yes, and now I'm teaching, how did he manage that!?"

"Hack his server, maybe you'll find compromising information and top secret files..."

"That's actually a good idea."

"Tony, you're not doing that, I was joking."

He elbowed the teacher who playfully returned the blow. He would still keep that idea in mind. _Mission: Impossible - Find out if Nick Fury is an agent of secret stuff. Because he really is an ASS._

"Did you come with Pepper?"

"Oh. No, I have another date. Tall blond guy, super sexy and awfully nice. Here, he's just-"

Tony froze, looking at the table where Steve was sitting a few minutes ago. The student wasn't there anymore. Frowning, the man looked around him, clearly disturbed.

"Where did he go?!"

Rhodey shrugged.

"He had enough of this party. Just like me, actually. Don't you think it is boring?"

"Well, it wouldn't be if he wasn't always _leaving without warning me!_ Gosh, I need to find him. Come by my house tomorrow, I want you to meet him!"

No, the fact that _he_ was always leaving Steve alone since the beginning of the night didn't cross his mind. Oh, poor Tony...

 

Steve was leaning on the railing, his drink in his hand, gazing at the amazing view of New York City at night. This balcony was probably the most interesting thing about the evening, even though it was a little chilly outside. Still better than the stifling atmosphere inside... The blond took a sip of his drink and sighed, staring into space, mostly thinking. He suddenly jumped when he felt two hands grab him by the hips, but didn't peek over his shoulder. He already knew who it was.

"I've been looking for you for hours!"

Steve glanced at his watch.

"You left me twenty minutes ago."

"... Right, I've been looking for you for approximatively seventeen minutes, since it took me three minutes to realize you had disappeared. I suck at dating, right? But at least I'm honest."

"At least. Enjoying yourself?"

He heard Tony sigh and the man released him, leaning right beside him and looking at the city, busy and illuminated. From where they were, they had a great view on the huge Rockefeller Christmas Tree.

"Not very much. When you're sober, these parties are really not that fun."

Steve only nodded and didn't look at him. Tony bit his lip, leaning closer until their shoulders touched. The blond didn't try to move, but didn't lean into the contact either. Alright, maybe Tony had ignored him a little bit, but hey, it wasn't his fault! There were so many people to see and to talk to and, let's face it, Steve was more of the quiet guy who will sit somewhere calmly and enjoy a drink while Tony was the party guy, social and energetic, verging on hyper from time to time.

"Are you mad at me, sweetheart?"

Steve was used to that nickname, but it still gave him goosebumps. Or maybe it was the cool wind but he doubted it.

"I am not... It's fine with me if you have fun and meet people and everything, but I ... I just thought we would... Spend Christmas together."

Tony was about to protest that it was what they were doing, but he stopped himself. I wasn't really what Steve meant by 'Spend Christmas together', he suddenly understood that. Something more private, more traditional would have been perfect, after all ... Sighing again, he interlaced his fingers with Steve's and squeezed, waiting for the blond to squeeze back. Thank god, he did. Precious, Steve Rogers is precious and lovable and you must take care of him, chant a little voice in his head. Yes. Yes he must, but it was so hard and he was not good at this.

"We will, I promise. Let's go back to my place. We totally will."

His smile was so warm and convincing that Steve could not help but smile back and eventually follow him. The ride in Tony's car was silent but it wasn't uncomfortable and soon enough they were in the genius' house. Tony instantly removed his jacket and loosened his tie, Steve doing the same and also opening the collar of his shirt.

"I know exactly what we need. Christmas Tree, blankets and pillows, candles and cookies."

Before Steve could say anything, Tony was gone. He came back a few minutes later with a few warm blankets and some pillows and settled everything on the floor of the living room, in front of the tree. Giving the candles to Steve, he simply asked him to light them while he went to the kitchen for the cookies. Now Tony had said he was bad at cooking, but he could still put cookie dough in the oven and actually prevent it from burning. He wasn't that bad. That's why it soon smelled really good in the house and he came back with a plate of hot and mellow cookies.

"I hope you don't mind if I didn't make them myself ... But hey. Pillsbury have pretty good cookies and I just fell in love with the snowman on the cookies, aren't they cute?"

Steve laughed and nodded his approval, already shoving a cookie in his mouth. Tony sat beside him and kicked off his shoes and socks. Just like that, they cuddled in a nest of blankets, only using candlelight and the one made by the Christmas Tree. That was what Steve was talking about. Tony being all cute and sweet, them spending some time together, a little evening both funny and romantic. When they ran out of cookies, Tony started biting the blond's neck sensually and Steve let him, not finding the strength to push him away. Well, really, he didn't want to. It felt great and he only found the urge to run his hands in Tony's open collar and touch him, feel him, kiss him. Tony pushed him on his back and put one leg over him, already fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He got rid of it in no time, revealing Steve's bare chest. He then leaned closer and murmured:

"Merry Christmas."

After that, all restraint vanished. They discarded their clothes in a matter of seconds, burning of an unfulfilled, urgent desire. Tony's mouth was everywhere. One minute it was on Steve's, deeply kissing him, the moment after it was on his neck, biting and licking his skin. Steve barely had the time to register the sensations, his heart beating fast and his mind completely disconnected. He only wanted Tony, right now. That was all he could think of. He impatiently pressed their naked bodies together, rolling Tony over and circling the arc reactor with his fingertips. Tony shivered and thrust his hips up with a groan, clinging to Steve's shoulders. After a few thrusts against the student's body, he mewled and tried to break free, wanting to take the upper hand. When he didn't get what he wanted, he grabbed Steve's cock and spread the precum all over the top with his thumb, smirking at the way the blond threw his head back and cried out.

"That's it baby... I will make you feel so good... On your back sweetheart, spread your legs for me, just like that..."

He knew how to do it and Steve did not even try to protest. He lay there on his back, at Tony's mercy, the man enjoying his control over his lover for a moment before releasing his throbbing cock and fumbling for something in the blankets. Before Steve could ask him what he was looking for, Tony found the small bottle of lube and proudly showed it to him. Heat invaded Steve's lower abdomen, accompanied by some nervousness. OK, right, he was a virgin. Tony was ... Tony had a lot of experience. Like, a lot. Now how was he supposed to act? What was he supposed to do? He had no idea, he was a little insecure, but Tony's smile was so warm that he actually found some courage just by looking at the man. There was something in those big, beautiful brown eyes. Desire, yes. But also love. Steve sucked on a breath and spread his legs a little more, feeling Tony's coated forefinger slowly pushing inside. Without warning, pain took over the pleasure he was feeling up to now and he instinctively clenched his muscles, only making it worse.

"Shhh Blondie. Relax. It'll make it easier," Tony murmured, gently stroking his tummy with one hand, running his fingers over his abs.

Steve, panting heavily, clenched his teeth and tried to calm down. It took Tony a moment to finally have Steve relax, with much caresses and sweet words, but he managed it and never tried to move too fast. He waited until he was sure Steve could handle it before adding another finger and slowly trying to spread them to stretch the blond a little more. A low grunt escaped Steve's lips, but this time he accepted the intrusion and gently rocked his hips. Tony kept going, adding more lube, then a third finger, then more lube again and he started moving them at a quiet pace not to rush the student. His patience was finally rewarded when Steve breathed out a faint 'Okay' and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes, waiting for the next step. Tony took a deep breath and withdrew his fingers with a wet noise, making Steve whimper. More lube again, one can never be too careful, then he slowly entered him. He didn't move at first, letting Steve adjust to him, then he started a few thrusts. Soon enough, Tony felt the blond relax under him and some little moans started escaping his lips. This encouraged Tony who thrust a little harder, quickening the pace, barely able to restrain himself. It felt so damn good, Steve was so hot and so tight and gosh, he wouldn't last long, he could already feel the pleasure building in his stomach. In between moans, Tony found the energy to talk dirty, clearly not able to shut up even during sex. When Steve started to move his hips to meet Tony's and feel him deeper inside, the teacher lost all control over his body and cried out, shivering with pleasure, babbling nonsense as he reached a powerful orgasm. Steve followed shortly after, with a breathless moan, coming all over his stomach. Tony pulled back and wiped away the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand, watching the shadows on Steve's body caused by the blue light of the reactor with a satisfied smirk. Steve smiled sleepily, not moving at all, and Tony just took the time to blow the candles before going back in the student's arms. He pulled the blankets over their naked bodies and clung to the other man, burying his face in his neck and feeling Steve put an arm around him.

"Steve ...? Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, another chapter!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to post it, I was sooo busy...  
> But hey, I tried to make it a little longer and, well, there is a little smut so you forgive me, right? :P  
> Thank you again for reading! Feedback is always appreciated! :)


	6. Chapter 6

Tony woke up in Steve's arms and barely opened his eyes before closing them again. It was really warm under the blankets, pressed against Steve, their body heat more than comfortable. He didn't really want to move right now, he loved it a lot where he was in spite of a natural need that became more and more urgent. Do not get him wrong: Leaving Steve's arms to go to the bathroom? No fucking way. He would wait now, and run and curse later. For the moment, the man gently shifted so that he wouldn't wake Steve and found another position, half lying on the blond, folded arms resting on his chest. That way, he could look at him and enjoy the peaceful look on the face of the sleeping boy.

Tony suddenly realized that he had slept naked. It was the first time since that night where he had told Steve about the kidnapping. Because he found out that the arc reactor was a source of stress and that his glow kept reminding Tony of the incident, Steve had decided that for Tony's own good, he should try to sleep with something covering it for at least a while. It appeared to Tony as some kind of therapy. Once he'd be able so sleep without the reactor, Steve had said they would try and cover it with thinner clothes so it wouldn't completely hide his blue glow. He wanted to slowly let Tony adapt to the change to finally have him sleep naked without having those awful nightmares. It was working pretty well up to now. That night, he had fallen asleep naked without problems... It probably wouldn't be the same if he tried that alone, but with Steve it seemed to be alright. _Oh, Steve, what you do to me..._

Alright. Maybe waiting wasn't a great idea. Maybe if he quickly went to the bathroom and came back, Steve would still be sleeping and then Tony could lie down next to him again and pretend to be asleep too so they wouldn't move until maybe a few hours? That sounded pretty good. It looked freezing outside their blankets and the floor was probably super cold, but he had no choice. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the blanket and stood up, picking up his underwear and shivering when his feet touched the floor. If Steve wasn't asleep right now, Tony would certainly lecture Jarvis for that shitty temperature in his living room. Really. Because it's Christmas doesn't mean they have to freeze in their own house! What's the point of having an AI if you can't have heated floor? Speaking about that, Tony was pretty sure he had heated floor. Why wasn't it working?! _Oh gosh, right, the bathroom..._ Tony crept up out of the living room and almost started running when he was sure he was far enough not to disturb Steve. Alright, can someone tell him why the bathroom's floor was so freaking warm??

"Jarvis, we have problems with the floor heating system, am I right?"

"Indeed, Sir. May I suggest that, until the problem is solved, you put some clothes on before wandering around?"

"Sounds exhausting… Look, if I’m wandering around fully naked, just watch my body signals and if I look like I’m cold, heat up the room, that’s so easier that way isn’t it? By the way, if Steve looks at me with that much lust in his eyes- just like when we were screwing a few hours ago -and I just get all those goosebumps and shivers, no I’m not cold, I’m just fucking turned on. Good?"

"Very good, Sir."

Tony nodded and began to hum the tune of a Christmas song. No, having that kind of conversation with Jarvis while peeing wasn’t unusual at all for him. What? Not his fault if he can’t stop thinking, even when he’s at the bathroom. When there is a problem, it must be solved, that’s it. And right now, the problem was that Little Tony was freezing and could use something to make it feel better. That’s what the underwear was for. _Note that Steve was also a really nice way to make it feel better…_

"Baby all I want for Christmaaaas is youuuuu!"

Maybe Jarvis would have been scared if he were an actual human capable of emotions. Tony seemed way too happy for his own good. Loudly singing the lyrics to a Christmas song wasn’t in his habits. Singing, he loved, he would always hum AC/DC songs while working on his cars, but really, Christmas songs…? The man pulled up his underwear and flushed the toilet with his toes- what a kid, really –before going back to the living room. He barely had time to go back under the blankets with the blond that Steve’s eyes fluttered open and he yawned, stretching a little and glancing at Tony. A lazy smile made its way to his lips.

"Hey…"

" 'Morning babe. How are you feeling?"

"Great… A little sore, but definitely great."

Tony smiled and leaned closer for a peck on the lips. It was almost weird how, with Steve, the lightest of touches felt as great as the whole love-making. The cute stuff was not as scary as it should be. Yes, Tony Stark doesn’t do relationships. He’s really bad at it. When things would get too intimate with someone, he would run away because he didn’t want to get into something more serious. But with Steve, things were different. In fact, that whole romantic kind of relationship they were starting was … great. He loved that. He loved Steve, a lot more than he had thought he would, and although he wasn’t clearly saying it for the moment, he knew the day would come where he would have to confess to the blond. It was big. He, Tony Stark, had fallen head over heels in love with one of his students. He hadn’t planned it at all and it was confusing, almost scary, but he wanted it to work. For once in his life, Tony wanted to do it right. But he couldn’t, he remembered himself. Right now, what they were doing wasn’t right, because Steve was his student and he was his teacher. Things were complicated and Tony didn’t really want to think about it right now… He just wanted to stay with Steve and forget about everything else. Fuck you Nick Fury, Tony hadn’t asked for this job, OK maybe it wasn’t that bad because he had met the best guy _ever_ but now it was a shitty thing because he just _couldn’t be with him._ Oh, secretly perhaps, but… Well. It wasn’t that serious anyway, really. They were not together. They were just, uh, hanging out and having fun and, well, they only had sex once, that doesn’t make them a couple, right?

"Tony…"

Tony’s attention snapped back to Steve and he forced a smile.

"You’re thinking."

"I’m always thinking sweetheart," playfully retorted the billionaire.

"Not like that."

It was annoying, yet awfully pleasant that Steve knew him that much.

"I was thinking … about us."

Tony immediately felt Steve’s arms tense around him and the blond frowned, as if he was misunderstanding him. Before Tony could reassure him, Steve asked him a question in an almost pained way that made Tony feel so, so fucking great, deep inside:

"Y-You’re not thinking about putting an end to this, right?"

Steve was not a liar. He did care about Tony, and the genius could totally feel it in the way he talked, the way he acted. He wanted this to work as much as Tony.

"Never…" Tony whispered. Then, louder "I was just wondering… I mean, obviously I like being with you and everything, and you’re a super great guy, like, totally the best person I’ve ever met, and-"

"Me too."

"… What?"

"I said 'me too'. Me too, Tony."

And Steve smiled, and his voice seemed so sincere that Tony skipped a few heartbeats. Me too … Just as if he knew want Tony wanted to say, what Tony tried really hard to formulate with actual words. A little smile on his lips, Tony nodded and his mouth caught Steve’s one slowly. What was meant to be a light, single brush of the lips became suddenly intense when Steve’s warm hand pressed Tony’s lower back to pull him closer. Tony let out a soft moan and Steve jumped at the opportunity, flicking his tongue over the man’s slightly parted lips and immediately obtaining another moan in reaction. Their mouths pressed hotly together and Steve could only wonder how Tony could still taste so good and sweet and exactly like the cookies they had last night, but he did and it was amazing. The blond touched Tony’s cheek and jaw, gently rubbing his stubble with his fingertips, never breaking the kiss. When their mouths parted, both men stared at each other, panting. The genius ran his thumb under Steve’s red, bruised lower lip with a smile, but before he could say anything, Steve straightened a little bit, almost throwing off balance the genius lying on his chest.

"What time is it?"

"Dunno, early, we have time…"

Steve didn’t let Tony pull him into another kiss, earning a pout from the man.

"Jarvis?"

"A quarter to eleven, Sir."

"Thank you."

He motioned to stand up, gently pushing Tony aside to do so. The teacher looked at him with wide eyes, slowly understanding what was happening. The second later, he was on his feet, watching the blond put on his clothes.

"What, no!"

"Tony, I really got to go. We are the 25th, I promised my grandmother I would be there…"

"What am I gonna do without you?"

Steve laughed and patted his cheek.

"You’ll be fine. You’re the old one here; you can take care of yourself."

"Screw you, Steve Rogers! Call me old again and I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to stand. We’ll see who looks old then!"

"Sounds like a plan."

OK, that actually sent heat in Tony’s belly, and why the hell did he crack a joke like that? That wasn’t the time to get all aroused, Steve was leaving.

"Fine."

"Permission to leave?"

"Granted. Oh. Wait. I got something for you."

Tony turned and walked to the coffee table. He grabbed a large box clumsily wrapped in blue paper dotted with small silver snowflakes and walked back to Steve, handing him the box with a broad smile. The blond slowly took it, glancing at Tony with a smirk.

"Oh come on. You're lucky Pepper was there to help me ... She chose the paper. I was going for red and gold again but she said that one was better. I didn't let her help me for the rest though, and when I look at it now, I think that maybe I should have accepted her help. It's pretty messy, right?"

"It's perfect," Steve laughed, smiling shyly, "You didn't have to..."

"I wanted to. It's fine. Just don't open it yet, do it at your place or I don't know, but not now. Please?"

Steve blinked with surprise, but nodded slowly.

"Sure. Thank you, Tony."

"C'mere..."

With a smile, the blond leaned forward and met Tony's lips on the way. They kissed slowly, Tony's hand twisted in his student's shirt, then the blond let out a muffled moan and the passion increased suddenly. His hands occupied by the box he was holding, Steve could only let Tony take the matter in hands and respond to the kiss as good as he could. At one point, they were licking at each other's tongue, Tony pushing Steve towards the entrance until the blond felt his back pressed against the door. Just a little more, he knew he had to leave, but just a little more of Tony's mouth on his, he wanted it, he needed it. 

"You ... should go ..." Tony mumbled through kisses and Steve nodded, pulling back a little, only to come back for a last peck on the lips. And another. _And another._

Tony caught Steve's bottom lip between his teeth and gently tug at it, a playful look on his face, running his tongue over the little bite right after. He pulled back after that, leaving Steve some space to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. 

"I'll call you..." the blond finally managed to say, flicking his tongue over his red, swollen bottom lip, watching a satisfied grin form on Tony's lips as the man watched what he had just done. Mark his territory, that's what it was. Summoning all his courage, Steve smiled at him and then reached for the handle. He opened the door and before he could get distracted again by the man, he left with a 'Merry Christmas, Tony!'. 

The genius closed the door once Steve was gone and sighed. Alright. As used as he was to being alone, and even though he loved it that way because he had plenty of time to work and work and drink and work again with nobody to annoy him... He felt the house was really empty without Steve. As if it was missing something now that the boy had left. Oh well. He could do a few days without seeing Steve... He would call him on New Year's Day  and maybe they could hang out a bit, then he would see him at school the next week. Yeah. Of course. That was a good plan. Yeah...

Tony walked to the living room, fingers tapping in the air, touching fictive screens and keyboards. He was pretty sure he had already found out the problem of the heated floors, he would still have to check it out, but it wouldn't be too hard to fix. Suddenly, while sprawling himself on the couch, he noticed an envelope lying on the coffee table. It was red. Frowning, Tony reached for it and looked at the name written at the back. His own name. Not Anthony or Stark or both or his full name... Just Tony. He slowly opened it, pretty much tearing the envelope while doing so, and looked at the card that was inside. A Christmas one. Inside, in Steve's neat handwriting, there was a little message.

'I know you don't like being handed or given things, but I still wanted to give you a present. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I figured out a way to do it. I won't give it to you; you will search for it and go get it by yourself. Don't roll your eyes! ;) You'll enjoy it, and in the end, I tell you, it's worth it. Merry Christmas, Tony. xxx'

Tony couldn't help but smile. Searching or his own present... That was kinda unusual, but Steve was cute and he was willing to try his little game, only because it was his sexy favorite blond. He looked at the bottom of the card, where a single sentence was written : "If you were ice cream, you would be my favorite flavor." That simple phrase made him smile again. Steve really was the best. He was cute, he was romantic, he was freaking  _perfect_  and he was saying those amazing things  _to him._ He was the lucky one on which Steve had set his heart. 

OK. Seems like the last sentence was the clue. He leaned back in the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table. 

"Jarvis? Could you bring up a map of New York?"

"I'm sorry Sir, Mr. Rogers asked me not to help you in this, as he assumed you would try to do it from your living room and wouldn't set foot outside."

"That little prick..." Tony growled. Steve knew him so well ... How come!?

He stood up and went to take a quick shower. Ten minutes later, he was fully clothed, a gray, red and white scarf around his neck, wearing a jacket and ready to go outside. This first clue was not bad, he was pretty sure that he knew were to go, so he took no time and left, walking in the street with his hands in his pockets.

 

_Steve laughed and pointed a bench not so far away. Tony followed and they both sat there, the blond still laughing softly, the genius smiling at his own joke. It was always a pleasure to make Steve laugh and he couldn't seem to get enough of it. He took hold of Steve's hand and gently followed his palm lines with the tip of his forefinger, until Steve closed his hand on his and held it tight. Suddenly, the blond looked around him and smiled._

_"There's usually an ice cream stand right here. It's too bad it's not there right now, I feel like having some."_

_"Ice cream. In November."_

_"What? There is a specific time for eating ice cream?" Steve snorted._

_"Uh, yeeaah?! Summer."_

_"I could eat ice cream anytime. In the middle of winter, even. I don't mind."_

_Tony simply laughed and shook his head._

_"You're crazy."_

_"Not as much as you are," Steve retorted with a smile, and Tony raised an eyebrow, but could only laugh and agree._

_He stared pensively at their hands for a while, gently rubbing his thumb on Steve's skin. People were walking by them, some were looking at them, but he didn't mind at all. He knew he could be recognized, but he wasn't ashamed or anything. He was with Steve, they were getting to know each other and he must admit he really liked the guy, so if he felt like holding his hand in public and Steve didn't mind, then he would certainly do it, no matter what people were thinking._

_"Next summer, we'll come and get you some ice cream," he suddenly blurted out._

_It sounded pretty much like a promise, a way of saying that this little thing that they had now, it wouldn't end soon. Tony wanted this to work. He really did. Steve smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand gently._

_"Thank you."_

_Tony wasn't completely sure what for, but he smiled back and Steve looked happy, and that was all that mattered after all._

_  
_That, Tony remembered. Of course he did. It was new for him, to cling to those little memories as if they meant the world. They probably did, in fact, because they were about Steve and Steve was his world now. He wasn't scared of telling himself just how much he loved the boy. He could not let Steve know, but he could at least admit it to himself. He walked straight to that place and soon spotted the bench. He walked to it and took a minute to breathe and sit there in silence, looking at the people walking by. A smile reached his lips. He, Tony Stark, was there, sitting on a bench in the middle of winter, alone, smiling to himself for no particular reason, and simply enjoying life ... Oh, what Steve had done to him...

He finally got to his feet and crouched to look under the bench. He knew people were probably thinking he was mad or totally weird for doing that, but he still found a red post-it and that was the only thing he cared about.

'Steve, come on, don't give me those puppy eyes!!'

That ... That was not a clue! That meant nothing, that was just something he recalled saying a lot since Steve has big, innocent blue eyes and could easily look like a sad puppy and basically have Tony do pretty much everything he wanted. He sat back on the bench, thinking. It would have been easier with Jarvis, really. In physics and engineering and stuff like that, he was a genius, but when it came to things like that or to emotions, he could be totally dumb. Tony sighed.

"Puppy eyes... That doesn't mean anything. Damn, does he want me to look into his perfect eyes and find the next clue, I mean come on, this is totally unfair! ..."

Now Tony was talking to himself, great, fucking great... He stood up and started walking again, thinking that maybe it would help him reflect on this statement. He would never find his present for Christmas... unless... unless it was hidden somewhere in his house. Where else could it be? The clues probably led him back to the house, where he would find it in a pretty obvious place. All he could do was just go back, find the present, pretend that he had walked all around New York City to find every clue and do that kind of treasure hunt and ...... and dammit, he could not do that. It was not fair for Steve, it was cheating, it was ... It ... Maybe the present wasn't even in his house. Now he would look stupid ... 

Tony ran a gloved hand through his hair and looked at the post-it again. Puppy eyes ... Steve and his puppy eyes ... It must be place, he was looking for a place. Probably a place where Steve and he had been, a place he knew and that was linked to that sentence. He just had to think, and find out where exactly it could be. They had been to several places. Even to that museum because Tony knew that Steve was more of an artist and that he enjoyed that kind of thing... But, really ... Puppy eyes? It was certainly not about hot-dogs here! The ice cream one was way easier ... 

 Suddenly, the answer appeared to him, as clear as crystal. Puppy. Puppies, dogs ... Steve was really fond of dogs. He even did, in fact, some volunteering at a ... dogs shelter! 

Tony had to resist the urge to throw his fist in the air. He was so good at this, oh god, he was so fucking great! The shelter, it seemed obvious now! When he found out he was actually running towards that new destination, he calmed himself a bit and cleared his throat, trying to refrain that sudden burst of joy. Still, in a minute he was at the shelter, having walked pretty fast to get there. The moment he pushed the door, he was greeted by a man who stood up and walked to him.

"Mr. Stark!"

"Mr. Adams."

"I told you to call me Peter."

"And I recall asking you to call me Tony."

Peter laughed and nodded, shaking Tony's hand firmly. Tony gave him a broad smile and looked around him.

"Steve happens to have sent me here, and I'm supposed to be looking for post-its. I figure you won't help me because he probably told you not to?"

"Pretty accurate. Don't even try to persuade me, I have no idea where he put it," Peter laughed and Tony rolled his eyes with a smile.

 

 

_"No. Steve you are **not**  taking me there. No. I can do a lot of comprises for you, I'm really willing to, but this is... No. A hundred times no."_

_Steve laughed in answer and closed his arms around him and oh, it felt great... He leaned down to press kisses to Tony's jaw, until he reached his ear and murmured:_

_"It's going to be fine, Tony. Come on."_

_Damn young man and his strength! He actually dragged an unwilling Tony inside, even though the man had tried to complain and object and grip the door frame to keep himself outside. All of this for nothing, because he soon was inside, arms crossed, pouting like a child beside his student. He hated him. He totally did... not. Dammit._

_Tony watched as a man came to talk to Steve, both men shaking hands and laughing with complicity, and the genius presumed they already knew each other pretty well. Now why was he feeling jealous? Oh, right. Because that man was looking at **his**  guy with a big warm smile and they seemed close and stuff and Tony couldn't help but frowning. He was that close to bark "Hands off my boyfriend!" and really, how ironic was that that they were in a dogs shelter and Tony suddenly felt the urge to growl and bite?_

_Suddenly: the Apocalypse, with a big A._

_A dog had come out of the blue and decided that it wanted to meet Tony. And not any dog. A huge Bernese Mountain Dog that seemed to crave affection since a slip second later, Tony was lying on his back, the dog over him trying to lick his face. And while this violent attack took place, Steve, the traitor, was only laughing. There wasn't anything funny about this! This dog was ruining his shirt and it was heavy and way too loving and Tony could barely keep it away enough not to have his whole face washed by a sticky tongue._

_"Steve! Steve, dammit, help!"_

_"You're doing fine, Tony, you're doing great, even!" Steve smiled at him, letting the dog perform his miracles on the genius._

_The dog finally let Tony get on his knees, but never stopped trying to smell him, lick him or simply bump into him while wagging its tail like crazy. That dog was mad, clearly. Tony, both hands buried in its fur, gave it a dirty look. The moment his eyes met the dog's big brown ones, he stopped and stared. It may sound crazy, but at that very moment, he could almost tell just how much that animal was loving. He could almost see it, that deep loyalty, that sincere and pure love, that happiness... Dogs were faithful companions and, right now, he could understand why..._

_When Tony left with Steve at the end of the day, he promised himself that he would return there sometime._

It didn't take much time to Tony to find his dear friend. The dog reacted to his voice and came to him in no time, and Tony crouched immediately to pet him with a broad smile. There was something about that dog that made Tony smile inexplicably. He used to think that animals were useless and needed way too much of your time, but that one dog seemed to be the exception which proves the rule. He had thought about naming him Toby and had started an acronym about it (Totally Overexcited Buddy--), but couldn't find an appropriate word for the Y and had quickly changed for Einstein, in honor of the dog in  _Back to the Future_. Steve had smiled at that name, although he surely didn't get the reference and could only think about the actual physicist. 

Tony was pretty sure of himself when he fumbled for Einstein's collar, and when he grabbed it through all the fur, he started looking for another clue. He knew it must be there somewhere, it seemed the most logical place since this dog was clearly the most important thing about this shelter, to Tony's eyes. Indeed, the billionaire found another red post-it slipped under the collar. Again he looked at the clue and took a few minutes to think about it while sitting his back against the wall and petting the dog. 

 

He went on like that for the rest of the day. He made his way through a part of New York City, each location bringing back memories Tony treasured so much and taking him closer to his goal. Finally, by the end of the afternoon, he found another post-it. That one was not like the others since an address was written on it. Tony didn't even hesitate a second. Since it was maybe too far away from his actual location to walk there, he went back to his house to take his car. Deep inside, excitement sparkled in the pit of his stomach as he thought that Brooklyn was where Steve was born, and where his grandmother still lived...

Tony found the last post-it on the door of the house at the address written on the paper. In Steve's handwriting, he could read 'Found what you were looking for?' and could hekp but think that yes, YES, he had found it. Steve's present for him was not something material or something he gave only once a year. It was actually the most precious gift he could have given him and Tony wouldn't have wanted anything else. The blond was giving him his love, his presence, wonderful memories they shared together, and yet again the genius was left to wonder what he had done to deserve such a great, perfect guy. Love was something he could give back to Steve, and he truly wanted to. To show him just how much he loved him. It was unusual for him, he was scared as hell, but it was time. Steve deserved to know. Maybe he was showing him, but it is great when someone tells it to you directly ...

He took a deep breath then knocked at the door. After a moment where Tony nearly died of stress, an old woman opened the door. The first thing Tony noticed were the piercing blue eyes, then the fact that the woman must have been a really beautiful dame, for she still was pretty. She seemed nice and gave him a warm smile.

"Tony Stark. I had no idea I would have a man like you at my door one day... It is a pleasure."

Tony smiled back, still a little uncomfortable.

"Pleasure is mine, ma'am. I am--"

"I know what you are here for. Come inside, my dear..."

Tony blinked a few times before actually picking up what she had just said and stepping inside. He took off his shoes and followed the old woman towards what must be the living room. He had hardly taken a few steps inside the room when he noticed who had been waiting for him. There was Steve, in the middle of the room, all tall and gorgeous and smiling, looking truly happy, and Tony instantly felt as if his insides were on fire. Damn, the guy was hot... He instantly smiled and for a moment, they stood there, only making eye contact. Then, Steve's eyes drifted to his right, and that's when Tony saw them.

Pepper and Rhodey.

All smiles and happiness too. 

Standing there, in Steve's grandmother's living room, for him. Just for him. 

This was all just too much...

Pepper seemed to notice it at the same time as Steve. They both took a step forward, then Pepper stopped and smiled at the blond who walked over to Tony and wrapped his arms around him. Instantly, the man's shoulders twitched and he buried his face in Steve's neck, hugging him back tightly. A moment later, he was laughing softly against Steve's skin, laughing at his own fragile moment, laughing at the tears in his eyes, laughing because he felt like doing so. He felt light and happy and ... glad. So glad, because he had the best guy of the universe just for himself. He raised his head a little bit to look at Pepper over Steve's shoulder, and she winked at him. He then met Rhodey's warm glare and smile and he smiled too, bringing one hand to caress Steve's nap. He gently pressed his lips to the soft skin of the boy's neck, then blurted out, because he couldn't keep it to himself anymore:

"I love you... I love you, Steve, gosh ... I love you so fucking much..."

"Language!"

Steve's eyes grew bigger and he turned slightly to give his grandmother a look, but Tony only laughed again and extended an arm, gesturing towards the woman.

"C'mere, go ahead ... Please. For me."

The woman rolled her eyes with a smile and walked to them, gently hugging both men at the same time. Both Tony and Steve put an arm around her, then Tony looked at Pepper and gave her his best smile. She grabbed Rhodey's arms and they both went to join that group hug. With everybody pressed together and close enough to really hear it, Tony looked up right in Steve's eyes and whispered:

"I love you, Steve Rogers."

Ignoring the way Pepper was lovingly looking at him with that smile which meant she was actually proud of him-- okay, he didn't ignore it, it actually made him feel pretty good to know that for once, she approved something that he had done --he stepped into the little circle their hug had made and, while doing so, brought himself closer to Steve. He gently touched his jaw, brushed his thumb against his cheek...

"This is the best Christmas present I've ever had."

Steve smiled leaned closer.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I _love_ it. And I love you even more," he breathed against Steve's lips.

The blond kissed him slowly, then pulled back a little and whispered:

"I love you too, Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so, so sorry it took me that long to update this story.  
> Hope you guys still enjoy that chapter and I promise I'll now try to update it more frequently. I can't possibly leave this unfinished. Thank you :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really sure where I'm going with this or exactly how many chapters there will be, I basically write on an impulse when I get an idea and ... yeah, that's pretty much it, and I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!  
> There's probably a bunch of mistakes in there, but all my works are unbeta'd, sorry if it annoys/disturbs some of you.  
> 

Having a relationship with his teacher never was easy. It was now established that they were boyfriends, but at school they were Mr. Stark and Blondie. Tony kept making these jokes in class, acting casually, being himself all the time with no apparent change in his behavior as if it was easy for him to pretend that the impulses he had towards Stevre vanished during the times where they weren't alone. He gave his attention to every student that requested it, now really looking like he loved this job and didn't even mind explaining twice or even more times to be sure that everybody would get it. He  _cared,_ he actually did. Steve had seen him sit with a girl for a whole week while the rest would work in teams on some exercices, because she was close to failing and he wanted to make sure she would finally understand and raise her grades before it was too late. That was really sweet of Tony, and although nobody knew what had caused that little change in his behavior, they sure enjoyed it. 

"You don't hate that job, don't you?" Steve had once said, as he was lying on Tony's bare chest, the man rubbing his back in smoothing circles.

Tony had snorted and hadn't replied anything, but Steve was pretty sure he had been fighting back a smile. 

Steve had more difficulty acting normally in Tony's presence. He would mostly keep focused on his work and try not to lose himself in the gorgeous sight of the man as he explained something, gesturing with liveliness, his eyes sparkling. He would try not to stare at his ass while he was writing on the board, even though he wouldn't have been the only one doing it. Clearly, Steve couldn't wait for school to be over and it was a shame they were only in March, because he really wouldn't be able to stand it a lot longer. On the other hand, he was doing his best trying not to act like the overly-attached boyfriend, since Tony was a damn grown man and it was already crazy enough that he actually loved him, a guy who was not only his student, but also nine years younger than him. He was just a kid, and the man was  _Tony Stark._  Let's not freak him out by being too intense, really. Steve wanted him to stay forever, not to feel oppressed by his young, dependant boyfriend. Plus, he could perfectly live without Tony..... Right .... 

 

Or maybe he couldn't. 

When Tony didn't show up on Thursday, Steve convinced himself that it was nothing and it was probably just an old habit kicking in. Tony must have been drinking too much, or working on something until late or should he say early in the morning until the fatigue knocked him out in the middle of his workshop... Yes, Tony was sleeping or doing who knows what that he considered important and missing a day of school wasn't unusual for any teacher, so he told himself not to worry too much. He even found out it was kind of relieving to be able to attempt his class without being under Tony's presence. 

The next morning however, when the sub teacher entered the class, the blond found himself a little worried. Two days, now. Maybe Tony was sick. Maybe he could use a little company. In any case, right after the last class of the day, he left the school and walked directly to Tony's. He hadn't seen him since Wednesday afternoon so it wouldn't look too much if he paid him a little visit, it's not as if he'd arrive and compulsively ask him why he'd been missing... Right? Once he was there, he gently knocked on the door, but got no answer. Nothing. He frowned and grabbed his cell phone.

'Tony?'

He waited, waited for a few minutes, standing there in front of the door, but nobody ever answered him. Something was wrong.

"Jarvis... ?"

"Welcome, Mr Rogers. Mr Stark is currently absent, would you still like me to let you in?"

That was a proof that Tony trusted him, if he had told Jarvis that it was OK to accept Steve in the house even if he wasn't there. Steve responded positively and a minute later, he was standing in Tony's kitchen. This is exactly where he found his phone resting on the counter, explanation as to why Tony hadn't responded his text. Alright, since when did Tony go out without his phone?

"Where is he?"

"I am afraid this information is classified."

"What?"

Classified? Tony was gone somewhere and Jarvis wouldn't tell him where? Steve bit his lip, unable to stop the flow of anxiety invading his body and making him shiver. 

"Is he in danger?" He immediately asked.

"I can assure you Mr Stark is safe. However, I suggest you ask him all your questions when he will be back, for I am not the one in right to tell you anything."

"Have any idea when he will be back, then?"

"Mr Stark didn't tell me, Sir."

Great. Really great. Today had been the last day of school before March break and a whole week spent with Tony sounded appealing, but the man was  _who knows where, doing who knows what, and Jarvis fucking wouldn't tell him!_  So great. Steve sighed and shook his head, thanking Jarvis anyway and walking to the door. Lingering here wouldn't do anything good and he just couldn't wait for Tony to be back in his own house like a good dog happy to see his master back. He simply walked back to his own apartment, trying to act casually with Clint and agreeing to go out because that could only help him stop thinking about Tony, right?

~~~~~

 

It had been two days, when one night Clint came back with Natasha and blurted out:

"Your man's back in town."

Steve jumped from the couch where he was sitting, eyes wide.

"How...?"

"I saw him a little more than an hour ago, buying pizza. Still alive, no sign of injury, apparently alone."

"He was wearing golden sneakers that matched his tie and he bought a pepperony pizza. You want more details?"

Steve rolled his eyes at the smirk on Natasha's lips and Clint's chuckle. He still grabbed the t-shirt Clint was handing him and put it on, determined to go and see Tony. 

"Thanks, I suppose," the blond smiled and left in a hurry before the two others could reply.

Steve quickly made it to Tony's house, almost running and taking half the time it usually took him to get there. He knocked at the door and wasn't so surprise to get no response, but when Tony was there, Jarvis was always quick to greet him and let him in. He walked in the entrance and found the pizza box almost empty on the counter, where two plates lied along with two not quite empty glasses of Sunkist. Since when did Tony drink Sunkist? Oh well. And why two glasses, two plates? Steve frowned and didn't bother asking Jarvis where Tony was, since he soon heard him laugh ; he could recognize that sound anywhere. The young man walked to the back door, left open, where the sound came from and froze in the door frame, his eyes going wide.

 

The first thing he actually saw was a little boy that might be around six years old or something. The boy had his back turned to Steve so all the young man could see was a mane of brown hair. The fact that there was a child right there next to the pool of Tony's house was kind of shocking, already, but Steve hadn't seen anything yet.

Tony was already in the pool, his hair wet and some water drops running along the olive skin of his muscular body. There was no denying the man was in better shape than he had been when they had first met, and Steve suspected the amount of sleep he finally got, added to the more regular meals the student made sure he ate, helped a lot. Right there, in the moonlight, he looked  _gorgeous_. He suddenly threw his head back and laughed, and that instantly did things to Steve's insides. 

"Come here big boy, don't stay out of the pool for too long, it's freezing outside and you wouldn't want to catch a cold, right pumpkin?"

"I can't swim real good..." the child blurted out, and he looked so small and fragile for an instant before he squared his shoulders as if to look more confident even though he wasn't.

"Hey, it's ok Adam... You jump and daddy will catch ya, okay?"

"You promise...?"

"I promise, sunshine."

Tony moved closer to the edge of the pool and waited for the little boy to decide to jump. It took him a good minute, but he eventually took a deep breath and threw himself right into the genius' arms. The man laughed again, the sound low and warm and reassuring and held the child close to him, hugging him tightly.

"There you go, baby. That was a great jump, wasn't it?"

The boy smiled and slowly nodded. He had thrown his arms around Tony's neck in a very tight hold to be sure that the man wouldn't drop him in the pool. Tony slowly lowered himself into the water, because let's admit it, the pool was heated, but outside it really was pretty cool and he was freezing. They stayed like that for a moment before the child reached for the reactor and touched it with the tip of his fingers, circling it carefully not to break it. He looked fascinated by the blue glow produced by the device embedded in the man's chest. From the angle they were in, Steve could now take a look at the boy's face. Big and curious dark eyes, with something deep and sparkling in them that was so  _Tony,_ Steve couldn't even catch his breath.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt you daddy?"

"A hundred percent sure. And you know what's amazing? I have my own night light."

 The child laughed at that and the smirk that made its way to his lips looked just like his father's, so much that Steve could barely believe it. He had no idea what the hell was happening, exactly, but resisted to urge to run to the pool and ask for explanations. The child had stopped giggling now.

"Who is Steve?"

Even from behind, Steve could imagine Tony' expression. He had seen him freeze, the muscles of his back suddenly tensed and it took him a while to ask carefully:

"Where did you hear of--"

"Pepper. I saw her and she told me maybe I would be lucky and meet Steve! I wanna meet Steve! Please, daddy?"

"Steve... Uh, well, Steve is the most amazing guy in the world. I don't know if you'll me--"

"Do you sleep with him?"

Tony instantly choked with his own spit at those words and started coughing in front of his son's surprised, wide eyes. He had asked the question in complete innocence and Tony could barely believe he had really heard him say that. It wasn't the billionaire who had taught him that, right? He had been careful to watch his words while in presence of his son, and damn it if it was all his fault, the mother of the boy would  _kill him._  As for Steve, he was nearly dying, trying to keep himself silent, utterly shocked. 

"I don't... We don't... Coulson said that, didn't he?"

"Yeah, the man with Pepper! But it's OK if you sleep with him, sometimes I get scared and I go sleep with mommy..."

He was going to kill Coulson. He really was.

"Well I .... used, to sleep with him. A little. I had nightmares too, see. He was reassuring. Just like you and mommy."

Adam nodded as if he understood and gently patted his father's back. Tony smiled, clearly relieved that he didn't have to explain the whole boyfriend and sex thing to a six-years-old. He wasn't sure he could manage an explanation that didn't involve way too many things a little boy wasn't supposed to know at that age. God bless Adam and his own, simple interpretation of the sentence. 

Steve lost the track of time, just watching them spend some time in the pool. The child tried to crawl on Tony's back, making the man wince and grumble that he was too old for this, which only amplified Adam's laugh. After a while, Tony straightened himself and carried his son on his back, out of the pool. He then let Adam down and wrapped a towel around the boy, then another around himself before guiding his son inside with a hand on his shoulder. When in the door frame, Tony froze when they came face-to-face with Steve, still standing there with his arms crossed. Surprise passed on Tony's features before he grinned and leaned closer for a peck on the lips.

"Hey, babe. Didn't expect to see you tonight... Did I ever tell you just how much I love surprises?"

"You hate surprises."

"Not when _you_ are the surprise..." Tony smiled and grabbed his son by the armpits to sit him on his shoulder and carry him inside. Steve closed the door behind them and followed, because what else could he do, really? The genius gently rubbed the towel on the little boy's skin to dry it, while big brown eyes peeked at Steve over his father's shoulder. The blond immediately became all smiles and sunshines, that perfect perfection that Tony hated so much at first.

"Hey there. My name is Steve."

"Ooooh. Heeey! I'm Adam." He smiled, his eyes bright.

"Alright big boy, time to go to bed."

"But daddy..."

"Nope, there's no "But daddy". It's already late for boys your age, Adam."

Steve walked to the living room and sat on a couch while Tony put his son to bed. Pyjama, brush your teeth, there is your teddybear... Adam didn't protest much, to Tony's pleasure, and soon enough he was in bed and Tony wished him goodnight, telling him he loved him and would see him in the morning. Then he closed the door and sighed, grabbing his shirt on his way to the living room and putting it on, without buttoning it. The man dropped himself beside Steve and looked at him.

"Did you wait long there in the door frame?"

"A while. Long enough."

"I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed... Jarvis, what the fuck, you could have told me!"

"It's fine, Tony."

They sat there in a slightly awkward silence before the billionaire leaned closer and nuzzled in Steve's neck, breathing in his smell, kissing at the soft golden skin right there.

"I kinda missed you..." he murmured.

"Well it's not really my fault. You left. For days. Without telling me."

Tony pulled back with a slight frown and looked at him.

"I was gone for four days, it's not that bad..."

"Except that you left me worrying because you didn't show up to school, you didn't respond to my text messages and when I came by, Jarvis told me he couldn't let me know where you were."

There was reproach in his voice. Tony bit his lip, clearly trying to find the good words to explain himself. Maybe he could feel the tension in the air...

"I... It's big, Steve, you know. I wasn't sure how to tell you ... all of this. Adam wasn't supposed to come at first, I just went to go and see him a little cause, I mean, it's my son, I can't just... I ... I love him. And you have no idea how hard it is to know that this little boy misses his daddy and you can't do much about it. I had to go, but I figured if you didn't know about me having a son, this would be better and I could let you know ... sometime. When I would feel like this is the right moment to tell you."

"But he came here with you."

"I ... Well, it's March break. That's some precious time that I can spend with him..."

There was a long moment of silence, then Tony added, looking at Steve with hesitation.

"It's ... alright, eh?"

Steve didn't reply anything. Tony had no idea what it felt like, Tony couldn't possibly understand what all of this meant to Steve. It was much more complicated than he thought and the blond could not just smile, say that everything's alright and forget that. He slowly shook his head.

"You could have told me you weren't ready to let me know where you were going and what for. You could have brought your phone with you and texted me. If I had known how you were doing, that would have been enough! I didn't need you to tell me everything, just ... Dammit, if we can't trust each other at all, then where is this going, really?"

"It's not that I don't trust yo--"

"This is getting complicated, Tony. It already was, but..."

"He's six, for god's sake, that doesn't change anything between us, he's not my ex-boyfriend or some shit!"

"He's your _son,_ Tony! You're thirty, there's that ex-girlfriend in the background, with who you have a fucking child, and I'm your student, barely old enough to drink alcohol. I-I ... This is bullshit, I had no idea where we were going with that and if we could make it work, but I ... I'm not sure this is ..."

Tony stared at him. There was something in his eyes, something that was probably pain, Steve understood. He hadn't meant to say this that way, to hurt him. Maybe it sounded a little harsh, but what else could he do? He just felt like everything was way too hard to follow, and he was only twenty-one, he didn't want to have to deal with all this bullshit. He was at an age where he wanted a simple relationship, something easy and great... Something that wasn't like this.

"There is nothing between Adam's mother and me."

"I didn't say th--"

"My turn to speak, you shut up."

Steve gulped and indeed shut up, Tony glaring at him in a way that made him feel very uncomfortable. Even though they were together, when Tony started to act like that, severe and dead serious, the age difference seemed more evident and Steve felt it, he felt Tony was in control, knew he had the authority. 

"You're the one speaking about trust, yet look at what you're saying! You don't trust me at all! You're there, with your doubts and fucking insecurities because you think I might still like that girl.... It was seven fucking years ago! We broke up because it wasn't  _working_  and she was pregnant and she didn't tell me, then first thing I knew I had a son! That's one hell of a thing, Steve, but that kid is mine and I love him. And I love you, too. It hurts, Steve, shit you have no idea how much it hurts when the one you love starts to doubt you. I told you things I've never told anybody else, except maybe Pepper and Rhodey. I listened to you and tried to sleep for you and eat regular meals and I worked so hard to achieve that... You're good to me, Steve. We had our goals and we made it together. It wasn't just my victory, it was yours too. I can sleep, naked, alone, without nightmares. All of this because I trusted you, I loved you, and I told myself maybe with you I could do this. Hell, I barely drink anymore! You just came and changed all my life and my habits and that's for the better, but fucking fuck Steve, don't you dare think that I would cheat on you with Adam's mother, or anyone else. I'm not like that! ... Not anymore..."

Steve stared for a long time. Stared because he didn't know what to say, stared because Tony's words were going straight to his heart and making it ache. He then reached for Tony, grabbed his hand. 

"I'm sorry..." was all he could say. 

Tony shook his head and looked away, until Steve squeezed his hand and pulled him closer.

"I really am sorry. I didn't ... This is just big, Tony. You, having a son... I ... I didn't mean to say that, I don't think that you would cheat on me, but I just felt like ... I don't know, I might lose you. I freaked out for a minute. I thought maybe you'd have to move over there, be closer to your son, raise him, see that girl again... I don't know how I would live with that. I think that ..."  _I think that we're making a big mistake. I think that maybe it would have been better, for both of us, to keep hating each other._ "... Maybe we should just, take a little time to figure everything out and... I ... Just, spend that precious time with him, alright? Just call me next week, or I guess I'll see you in class by Monday ..."

He suddenly saw it in Tony's eyes, just for a split second, some pure and nude fear in that rich brown, before the man put on his mask and stepped closer, a sly grin on his lips. He gently leaned closer and nuzzled Steve's jaw, kissing the soft skin of his neck and biting at the junction between neck and shoulder. Tony had his own way of hiding his insecurities and Steve wasn't a fool, he knew it very well. He knew the man was just trying to keep him from leaving, by acting like this, yet Steve wasn't really doing anything against it ...  

"You don't have to go..." Tony murmured in the blond's ear, "the kid's sleeping and we have plenty of time, just you and me ... all alone ..."

It was tempting. It was already hard enough to resist Tony Stark, let alone when he was devouring your neck and looking at you like that, with those hungry eyes... 

Steve was about to push him away when their mouths met, and suddenly it was all that mattered. He let the man push him against the wall, grabbing the genius by the hips and pulling them against his. There, right there. The passion, slowly building, the heat, each touch of skin against skin leaving a trail of fire behind ... How could he even think about leaving when he had Tony pressed against his body, already reaching under his shirt? Hotly licking at each other's mouth, they grind together as if their life depended on it, one of Tony's hands in Steve's hair, the other one already fumbling with his belt and pants. 

"S-Steve... Let's make fucking babies ..." 

"A-Aaah, yes, god yes, right... right..."

"... right the fucking now..." Tony completed in a breath, pulling at Steve's shirt hard enough to make the blond suck on a breath and take the matter in hands.

In a blink of an eye, the teacher was sprawled on the coffee table, breathless, rocking his hips in the air in search of the tiniest bit of friction, the smallest of touches that could cause him some pleasure. He was getting none of it. That little blond brat could be such a tease, it was fucking annoying... 

"C'mon baby ..." he begged, looking at Steve with feverish eyes.

Just as Steve dropped his pants to his knees and grabbed him by the hips, they suddenly heard some noise coming from the next room, then a door opened and a small voice called:

"Daddy?"

_Fuck. Holy brownie, it wasn't the motherfucking TIME for this! Shit shit shit..._

Before the genius could even move, Steve had his pants back on and was straightening himself. Tony growled and got back on his feet, trying to regain composure while buttoning his pants. Well that sucks. Kids are one hell of a thing, really.

"Yeah sweetheart? Hold on, daddy's coming alright?"

He glanced towards Steve, who just looked really tired now. Tired and somehow annoyed.

"I'm not gonna be long, it's probably just a nightmare... I'll check on him, then we can... we can watch a movie? I ... Steve, I..."

"Listen, this is not working. He needs your time more than I do. I'll see you Monday."

And before Tony could say anything, the student walked to the door and left, leaving him there, shocked and confused, his son still calling after him... 

_Shit Steve, don't do this, I love you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also sorry it takes me so long to update this story ... I barely have time to write these days, but I really am trying my best to finish this. I will keep posting chapters until I finish the story, I assure you I don't want to leave this unfinished, but I have no idea how long it will actually take me.  
> Anyway. I hope you still like this so far, I really appreciate all the feedback.
> 
> While I'm at it, if you guys have any idea, anything you'd want me to write about, any prompt you would like me to fill, feel free to let me know. I'll try to manage to find some little time for a quicky or two, in between exams and updating my other stories and going all fangirl about my newfound love : Garrett Hedlund. Damn, that guy is hot. Like, totally.  
> Yeah. Well. I love you all and don't worry, I'm not gone forever, I'll keep writing stories as much as I can. Yep ! :D <3


	8. Chapter 8

_What an asshole._

_Not a single message, not a single call, he didn't even bother moving his precious ass to come and see him._

_Tony Stark was an asshole._

_A smartass, irritating, arrogant ... sexy .... adorable ... caring ... asshole._

_Shit._

Steve sighed and took a last glance towards his phone lying on the coffee table. No. No way. 

Growling, he pushed it further away and definitely tried to stop looking at it. He was not calling Tony. Don't call him, don't send him a message, don't go see him, don't do anything that might make him think that you're missing him. Those were the rules he had carefully established. If Tony wanted to see him, he would call him himself. Would he? Maybe he wouldn't. Tony could be hard to follow sometimes and also be pretty stubborn. Not that Tony was in position to sulk or act childish since HE was the one who disappeared for a few days, in order to come back with, oh, surprise,  **his son**. 

It was hard to hate on Tony. Harder than Steve would have liked it to be. He could say whatever he wanted, he would never actually think that Tony was an asshole. The more he was trying to convince himself that the guy was a jerk, the more he could come up with reasons why he  _wasn't_. It was much frustrating. Like, really. There was something cute about him. Sides to his personality that Steve had gotten to know slowly but surely. 

Tony couldn't seem to be able to cook anything. Steve wouldn't even let him microwave anything or throw a frozen pizza in the oven, in case something wrong would happen-- the problem was probably the microwave or the oven more than Tony himself, even though the genius had sworn he hadn't increased their power. Sure. Normal ovens go from 600°F to 800°F, of course. Steve should have known there was nothing wrong with that ! The only great thing about that seemed to be all the good food they got to try in a bunch of fancy restaurants where Steve felt awkward at first then slowly learned to enjoy. On the other side, there was all the take-out they ate which wasn't so good for Steve's shape and all the training he did to maintain it. "Nonsense" had said Tony, "Those delicious muscles of yours won't disappear with Chinese take-out and a few pizzas!  _I_ should be worrying about my shape!" 

Tony had some kind of weird red and gold passion/obsession/fetish/Steve-wasn't-so-sure-how-to-call-that. There was always a touch of those colors everywhere. Not that he had a bad taste, he was actually really good at matching colors and shapes and making things look good. He knew how to dress well. He knew what Steve should wear to look his best--He was the one who had bought Steve his new navy blue suit and it really was amazing. 

... Tony was sweet. He really was when he wanted to. He would let Steve chose where he wanted to eat, what movie he wanted to watch, what activity he wanted to do... Oh sure, some days he felt a little bossy and decided that he wanted this or that, but usually, he would comply to many of Steve's choices and that was really nice of him. Not that Steve didn't end up often letting him choose because he really didn't know and, in fact, it didn't matter much as long as he got to spend time with Tony. Don't tell him that, but he was also really cute when he was sleeping. Or in the morning, hair disheveled and in his red, white and blue pyjama pants-- because yes, he didn't just have red and gold ones! -- all sleepy and grumpy before his first coffee. That was just adorable in some way. Just don't tell him. He wouldn't like this unjustified attack to his manliness. 

In short, Tony was probably the best thing that ever happened to him and he didn't want to lose him, but he also didn't want to be the only one to fight for them. Steve had told himself so many times that this is how it works, life is not always rosy and there was nothing wrong with facing a few difficulties. He just wanted Tony to make the effort this time. Maybe it was childish of him... He couldn't help it. He wanted to feel that Tony cared for him. He believed him, when he said 'I love you', he trusted him with all his life, but it's good sometimes to feel just how much someone would do anything for you. If Tony wasn't ready to save them ... Then would Steve always have to do the job for both of them? 

 

Steve jumped when someone knocked on the door. Clint and Natasha were gone for the week, heading somewhere to do something, Steve really knew nothing about their plans (but he was sure of one thing, it would involve sex, probably with some hair pulling and bad jokes from Clint that would earn him a bruise or two). Who could it be then? Tony ? Instantly, his heart started beating fast and he stood up, looking briefly at his black jeans and sweater. He looked presentable. Satisfied with this check-up, he walked to the door, opened it.... and froze right there in the door frame, looking down at tousled brown hair, shiny brown puppy eyes and childish smile. Holy cow. 

"Haaaan, there you are uncle Stebie! It's alright if I call you that, right ? I'll do it anyway but my mom says I should be polite and blah blah, I don't always see the point but eh."

Uncle Stebie? Wait a minute. Whoa. That was too much in a too short lapse of time, give him a minute here.

"W-What are you doing here? Aren't you with your dad?"

"Of course not. Daddy's being ridiculous. He stayed in his room for a whole day and Jarvis had to order some Thai food for me because I was hungry, then Daddy came out of his room and went directly to work downstairs and didn't care for me. I had to take a bath all alone! I had to put myself to sleep! Must be something very important he was working on..."

"Tony left you to yourself for two whole days!?"

"It's not that bad. I can handle myself." 

Alright. Another one of Tony's trait in Adam. He seemed so sure that he was able to take care of himself, and also seemed to have that tendency to speak a lot. That child looked so much like his father it was astounding. Steve immediately opened the door a little wider and had the child step inside, closing the door behind him. His kindness was already kicking in, with this urge to take care of the young boy and be sure he was alright.

"Do you want something? Are you hungry?"

"I'm alright... Just a little cold..."

Oh shit, right. It was pouring rain outside and the poor kid was soaked. If he didn't want him to catch a cold, maybe a bath and some dry clothes would be a great idea. He didn't have clothes his size but he would figure something out, he had to. Mumbling something about Tony being a total dick, but low enough so that the little Adam wouldn't understand anything, he lifted him and carried the boy to the bathroom without any protest on his part. Without a word being said, the boy took his clothes off and stepped into the bath while Steve filled it with warm water. He wasn't even thinking, just acting on an instinct. He couldn't let Adam like this. With a sigh, he poured some water on the boy's hair to wet them and added shampoo. Adam wasn't complaining at all and even looked like he was enjoying this. The silence lingered for a while, the child simply looking at Steve through soaked locks that had fallen on his forehead and in front of his eyes. Once they were done with the bath and the kid was lost in one of Steve's sweatshirt, that covered him for the neck to the knees, they settled in the living room. That's the moment Adam chose to speak again.

"Uncle Stebie?"

There. I already was too late for him now. He couldn't help but react to that name and raise  his head with a "Yes baby?".

"Why don't you love my daddy anymore? Is it because of me? I do somethin' wrong? I want you to love my dad again. Daddy was sad, I know it. Jarvis said so. He said he wouldn't play with me because he is sad. Please, Stebiiiie? You made him sad, fix it."

For a moment, Steve was lost in all the sadness and nude fear in the child's eyes. He just wanted to hold him, to reassure him, to chase away that sad pout on his lovely face. With a sigh, Steve shook his head and stared in the young boy's eyes. The kid held his glare, keeping silent.

"I still love your dad, baby. It's not your fault, Adam, nothing is your fault. Your daddy and I are having a little different, but it's gonna be over soon, don't worry."

Adam looked unsure for a second, then slowly blinked and looked away. He was probably a little young to understand the situation, but as long as he understood that it was going to be OK ... 

"How did you come here?" Steve suddenly asked, since the child had clearly made his way here all alone.

"I asked Jarvis where you lived. He called daddy's usual driver and he drove me here. Jarvis wanted to tell my dad and I didn't want to, I hope he didn't say anything ... Daddy's gonna be mad at me.... But I didn't want to be all alone..."

"He won't be mad at you, Adam. Would you let me text him to let him know you're safe and with me? He must be pretty worried by now..."

He gave the child a warm smile, but Adam just looked reluctant and murmured:

"Can you wait a little more? Please?"

Waiting would probably give the time to Tony to realise his son was missing, which wasn't really cool. He would freak out for nothing because he wouldn't know Adam was perfectly safe with Steve and not somewhere lost in New York City. In fact .... A smile slowly made its way to Steve's lips. The idea was appealing. Letting Tony worry a little more before telling him. Why not? Its not as if it was a bad thing, to actually shake a little like that. Maybe that would teach him a lesson or two. Couldn't possibly be that bad for him.

"Sure. I'll wait."

Adam looked almost surprised as first, as if he was sure Steve would call Tony no matter what the child had said or wanted. Then, he smiled from ear to ear and seemed really pleased, looking at Steve with huge brown eyes full of admiration. Steve stared back, enjoying the warmth spreading in his chest, a nice feeling similar to the one he had when Tony would tell him 'I love you'. Just like that, the blond thought, he had made a new friend. Maybe just a little more than that. The boy didn't thank him with words. The look on his face was telling, the fact that he cuddled against him on the couch and threw his little arms around his torso made it even clearer. A warm hand gently stroking the boy's back, Steve leaned back and let himself enjoy this moment. He felt awful now, for thinking at first that Adam was only a bunch of trouble that mixed things up between Tony and him. Adam was much more than that, he was a nice, sweet little boy, a child you couldn't help but love, you just couldn't no matter how much you thought you hated him at first. Steve felt bad for it. For thinking that everything was the child's fault. Hugging him a little tighter, he slowly ran his fingers in the boy's hair, earning a content sigh. Steve had been wrong, so wrong. Adam was 100% wonderful. Just like Tony was. Just like Steve's life was right now.

He didn't even notice the child had fallen asleep. He was already drifting himself and soon they were both sleep there on the couch, hugging each other, a warm smile on their lips.

 

 

It was almost midnight when Tony closed the album he had been looking at for the past hours. Steve had given it to him for Christmas, along with all the treasure hunt thing. Tony had almost protested since Steve was right, love was all that mattered and he couldn't possibly give him something worth more than that ... but the student had insisted. Of course. So he had accepted it, and soon noticed that it was pretty much love in another form. The album was full of memories. Drawings Steve had made, of Tony, of them, the ones the genius prefered... There was that one where Steve had represented him in a shiny red and gold armor, calling it "The hero behind the mask" in reference to Tony playing a role to hide who he truly was ... A way to show him that Steve thought the hero wasn't the armor, the charming sassy mask Tony would put on in public, but the kind of fragile, sweet man behind it. Somehow, it touched Tony a lot. He was glad it was in the album so he could look at it over and over again and think. Think about Steve being right yet again, think about how he loved that boy, with his perfect perfection and his gorgeous blue eyes... 

There were pictures. Of them. Steve somehow enjoyed to take his phone out, pull Tony against him and take a picture of both of them for no reason at all. If Tony had grunted every time and made a little fun of it, he was today glad that Steve had kept doing it regardless of his shitty attitude. The photos were great. They looked happy. He could look at them and remember anecdotes that had happened now and then and ... Well. It was nice. When he didn't feel so great, he would hide and look at the album. Once, twice ... more than twice, definitely. Over and over again, because it made him feel better. Beause it gave him faith in their relationship. It made him feel like, no matter what would happen, they were stronger than everything and they would overcome the obstacles. Tony knew, deep inside, that they were meant to be. You don't really know what is true love, until you have found it. Some people say they get the feeling, they have found the right person. Their soul mate. Tony had always thought it was bullshit ... Until he met Steve Rogers. He had been a jerk with the boy to suppress that strange sensation buried deep inside, that told him this guy was wonderful, that this guy was the one he wanted to spend a lifetime with. It freaked him out at first. He didn't want to face the truth, he wasn't even sure what was happening, but hating on Steve seemed like the right thing to do ... until it didn't. Until he allowed himself to love. Now there was no turning back. Steve was his world. He couldn't let him go. Gosh, he really couldn't let him go...

He stood up in a hurry and got out of his workshop. He had to go and see him before it was too late. If Steve was thinking about leaving him, he had to stop him, at least try to, he needed to do something to save their relationship or ... or he had no idea what he would become. He didn't want to know. He just wanted to apologize and do whatever Steve would want him to do if that could help them ... He had to ...

...

Why was the door to Adam's room opened? Tony knew very well the child couldn't sleep with the door open since he sometimes got afraid some monster or bad guy would enter while he slept. The nightlight wasn't even on. Was he sleeping? Shit, it was so late, he should've put his son to bed ... Walking over there, he found the room empty. Bad. Maybe he was in the living room, watching TV ... probably sleeping in front of it, really what kind of shitty father was he, letting his son do whatever he wanted way past his bedtime ... 

Adam wasn't in the living room. Nor in the kitchen, the bathroom, Tony's room or the gym. Or anywhere else at all. 

That is when Tony started to freak out a little bit. 

Alright, freak out  **a fucking lot**.

He didn't even think about asking Jarvis, didn't think about it twice in fact, he just did what his heart told him to do: Grab his coat, the keys of his car, and drive to Steve's place. Steve would help him, Steve would know what to do, he always does. Maybe he would definitely think he's a dick for not paying attention to his son and losing him like that, but he would help him nonetheless. Steve was precious. So he drove over there, faster than he should have, but at this point every second counted and he couldn't afford to lose any more time. Tony then got out of the car and almost ran to the door. It was locked, but he had a duplicate of the key. Steve had given it to him ... They trusted each other and were always welcome in each other's house, no matter what. Knocking would probably have been better, but he had no time for that. He just opened the door, burst inside ... and found that lovely picture. His boyfriend sleeping on the couch, with Adam, safe and alive and looking absolutely fine, half-sprawled on him, the two of them clinging to each other. He noticed the dark red sweatshirt Adam was in, and a hint of a golden underwear above Steve's pants, of course he did. Ah! Steve could complain about those colors if he wanted, Tony KNEW he kind of liked them a lot now, just because Tony himself did... If that was not the cutest thing ever ... Tony leaned against the closed door and couldn't help but smile, looking at them. Adam had scared the shit out of him, but it didn't matter anymore. He was safe. He was cuddling Steve like a teddy bear. His boyfriend had taken care of his son... Tony couldn't be happier right now. It's always great when the two people you love the most get along well ...

Tony took his shoes off and walked to the couch with a smile. Paying attention not to wake anybody up, he curled up in the small space between Steve and the armrest of the couch and buried his face in the blond's neck. There. Right there, it felt good. Almost instantly, Steve, still sleeping, moved a little to wrap and arm around him and pull him even closer. He was like that; he would always cuddle Tony for some human heat. Tony hadn't really figured out why but the student could get cold during the night and obviously he didn't like that at all ... That wasn't so bad, Tony didn't mind stroking his feet with his own to keep them warm. With a small kiss to Steve's neck, he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

 

 

Steve woke up in the morning to the music of Mario Kart. He slowly opened his eyes with a groan and looked around him. Sitting on the couch were Tony and Adam, playing at one of the many video games Steve and Clint had. Mario Kart it was, and if Steve suspected Tony to willingly let his son win, he didn't say anyway and simply smiled. There were chocolate croissants on the coffee table and he grabbed one, leaning back on the couch to watch them play. Tony was wearing one of Steve's t-shirts and seemed way happier than he usually was in the morning before a coffee or two. He was actually having chocolate milk, right now. Well, Adam really was a little miracle, right ...

Suddenly grabbing the man by the shoulders, he pulled him back to hug him and press a kiss to his cheek. Distracted, the genius started to laugh and try to keep playing, which caused Adam to laugh too and cry:

"Thaaaanks uncle Stebiiiiie!"

Yeah, Steve thought with a smile ... That was a lifestyle he could easily get used to ...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my Christmas present for you! :D Well, one of them.  
> I know it's a short chapter but it is kind of an interlude if you wish to see it like that. There is more to come and my second present for you is that I will now be able to update this story during the holidays :)  
> I know I've apologized, I've said over and over again that I would update and I'm not able to do it as much as I would love to, but this time, I clearly will add a few chapters to this asap!
> 
> Merry Christmas everbody, best wishes, and a happy New Year!! xxxx

"Tony! Breakfast!"

"Daddyyyy! Breakfast!"

Adam seemed to enjoy mimicking Steve a lot. The child was a precious little thing, so open-hearted and loving. While Steve thought the boy wouldn't like him that much because they were both-- let's admit it, even though it sounded horrible and ridiculous --kind of fighting for Tony's attention, Adam became fond of him and kept calling him 'Uncle Stebie' which, okay, it was probably the cutest thing ever. 

The blond gave Adam a plate full of scrambled eggs and little pancakes and turned again towards the stairs leading to the workshop. He knew pretty well Tony had been up all night; he hadn't joined him in bed during the night, Steve could swear. For some reason, the man had worked for pretty much two days straight and kind of forgotten to eat, shower, sleep ... He had only taken an hour or so to play video games with Adam and came upstairs when Steve screamed 'Its Adam's bed time!!' to tell his child a story or two and put him to bed. As far as Steve knew, the genius had surely passed out in the workshop, propped against a table and still half-sitting on a stool, covered with grease, hair messy and a dangerous tool still on beside him, way too close to be safe. Fine, there was only one way of getting him to come to the kitchen...

"Coffee's ready!!"

And there you go, a groan coming from downstairs. Good morning, Tony, I love you.

Steve walked to the table, gave Adam a glass and slowly petted his wild brown hair with a smile:

"Here's your chocolate milk, baby."

That boy was adorable. Steve had expected to feel some pressure; he felt none. Tony wasn't expecting anything from him, wasn't waiting for Steve to take care of everything like a damn grown-up, wasn't wishing he'd be a second father for Adam. Tony only wanted him to be there, to stay with him and love him and just be his perfect little self. He could do that. He could stay by Tony's side and love him to his heart's content. If he had started to love Adam a lot more than he had planned, if he actually took care of him and spent precious moments with the child, then it wasn't because of some obligation. 

 

 

_"Does he really have to go?"_

_Tony sighed and stared into Steve's big blue eyes. Please baby don't cry. When Steve had those sad puppy eyes, it was really hard to tell him the truth, the truth that would hurt him. The teacher raised a hand and cupped the blond's face slowly, brushing his thumb against the soft golden skin. The blond bit his lip and kept staring at him for a while, then with a little sob he looked away and Tony let him, releasing his face. Instead, he buried his hand deep in Steve's blond hair and pressed the boy's head to his chest, one arm slipped around him, hugging him, comforting him._

_"I know it's hard, babe, I know..."_

_It was hard for him too. He didn't want Adam to leave. He was happy, with his son and his boyfriend. Life was great, like that. He was sure he would miss the little boy, he would miss him a lot. But ... But clearly, Steve would miss him too, and seeing the student sad like that was awful._

_"I-I'm sorry, it must be even harder for you and ... and still, I, I'm the one crying and... I'm so--"_

_Tony gently shut him up by pressing his lips against his. He didn't want to hear any of that. Steve had his own way of expressing his feelings and if he felt like crying, then fine, fine! Tony wasn't the one to cry often. It was hard, but he was being strong for both of them. Because for once in his fucking life, he had to be the strongest one, the one to help them both overcome the pain._

_"Don't apologize, honey. I'll take you there when school's over. We'll visit him, I promise. Hell, he'll visit us again too. Steve... You ... You've been great, you know. With him. He loves so much, it was, I ... I can't even explain just how amazing it was to see you get along so well..."_

_He pressed Steve's head against him again before the boy could reply, but he could almost feel him smile a little and he smiled too. Yeah. They would be okay._

 


	10. Chapter 10

Steve was in a weird mood. Not quite sad, not depressed, nothing like that really. It was just ... odd. Tony wasn't sure what was wrong with Steve, but he noticed the changes in the blond's behavior. They would spend time together and Steve would smile and laugh and shine bright like a diamond and everything would be perfectly fine, but then at night the student looked more tired than he should have. He once declined sex because he didn't feel like it, which okay, Tony could kind of understand and respect that, but it just didn't feel right somehow. Like there was something behind that tired smile of Steve's and more to that "I'm not really in the mood" he gave him. The genius didn't try to push it, but after a few nights where Steve fell asleep in his arms on the couch in the living room, Tony started to worry. Which, in itself, was worrying enough.

He thought at first that it was because Adam had left and Steve missed him a whole lot more than he had expected. However, it seemed like, even though the blond did miss Adam, it wasn't anything like that. He was just tired. He was fine. Everything was alright, he assured him one night when he probably noticed the face Tony pulled when he told him he wanted to go to bed; at seven thirty, really? So Steve was just tired. Tony wanted to believe it, wanted it so much, but yet he couldn't bring himself to stop thinking that something was awfully wrong. The following weeks had been ok. With school, both men were pretty busy and couldn't find as much time to spend together as they would like. Steve mostly did his homework at Tony's place, sprawled across the man's chest while the genius worked on something on a tablet. It was still great. Tony loved the guy. He could spend hours like this, just with Steve resting against him, sometimes petting his soft blond hair- how could they be so soft, really? -or devouring his neck until Steve couldn't concentrate on his work anymore. There was something cute about their relationship that Tony  _adored_. 

At the beginning of April, Steve caught the flu. A really bad one actually. He spent a whole week in bed, feverish, coughing and shivering. When Tony wasn't at school, he was staying with the blond even though Steve didn't want him to catch the virus because of him. After a few protests, he finally gave up and let Tony climb in bed with him, allowing himself to rest against the genius and try to find some sleep. The feeling of the strong, warm body against his was comforting, and let's say it: Tony was overly cute while taking care of him. The way he looked concerned, kept watching over him, bringing him soup, cough syrup or anything that Steve might need, all of that with a great deal of love. Who would have known the man could be so caring? He was, he really was, and when Steve started to be better but looked even more tired than the week before, as if fighting the virus had drained all the energy he had left, Tony was just about to have a mental breakdown. What in God's name was wrong with his boyfriend?! What was happening?! Why, why, WHY?! 

_Calm the fuck down, Tony, it's just the flu, it happens to everybody. Steve isn't a freaking old man, he got over it, he's feeling better now, he'll be better. He's just exhausted, the poor guy. Once he'll finish school, graduate and actually stop being under so much pressure, he'll be super great! ... yeah ..._

And then happened that peculiar day in class. Tony wasn't the one to get mad at his students for not listening to his class, well, most of the time at least. He could sometimes turn a blind eye when one of them wasn't exactly paying attention, there were things he could tolerate, but too much was too much...That's why that day, he had to snap 'Blondie!' when he caught Steve drifting off after fifteen minutes of the class. That got him Steve's attention immediatly and although he now looked really awake, there was something in his eyes that didn't please the teacher. He didn't say a word and kept going for a while before giving the students some work to do in teams. When Steve didn't really move and only rubbed his temples with a sigh before glancing at his sheet as if the simple idea of reading the problem was exhausting, Tony walked to him and without a word, pressed the back of his hand to the boy's forehead. Burning hot. Frowning, he grabbed the blond's chin and titled it upwards to stare into the beautiful blue eyes, clouded with pain.

"What the hell are you doing in my class, Steve?"

"I-I can't afford to miss it, I ... I've already missed too much... I really need good grades, To- ... Mister Stark."

"Who do you think you're kidding? This is a lame excuse, Rogers. How the hell do you think you can get good grades if you're burning with fever and falling asleep in the middle of my class? You better stay home and get some rest."

He lowered his voice.

"You know very well I can give you private lessons. I'll help you with this, Steve, but for now you leave this school right now and you don't come back until you feel better. Got it?"

"You won't boss me around..." Steve mumbled, trying to look away but unable to escape Tony's piercing gaze since the man still held his face.

"You bet I will. If I have to drive you home and hire you a nanny to make sure you will sleep, take some pills and eat chicken soup, I will surely do it."

"I'm fine, Tony. I'll be alright. There's barely half an hour left, I can make it through your class and then I can skip gym if you wish, but--"

Tony cut him off by suddenly grabbing him by the armpits and pulling him up on his feet. He could drag him outside if necessary, but actually, he didn't need to manhandle the student any more. Steve's eyes widened and he instantly raised both hands in front of him to stop the man from doing anything else.

"Fine. Fine I'm going home."

"That's right."

Steve looked at him for a few seconds, his face flushed, his eyes wild... Steve was in bad shape. The teacher, although still worried, gave him a little pat on the bicep with a fond smile and was about to say something when suddenly, Steve's knees buckled and he would have fallen if he hadn't grabbed the desk with both hands for support. Tony was by his side in a matter of seconds, with a few students as well, all looking pretty concerned. 

"I... I'm not feeling very well ..." the blond murmured finally, his head spinning, his whole body shaking and sweating. 

"I got you Blondie, I got you, here..." He couldn't call him baby right here in front of the class, couldn't touch him too much, couldn't reassure him with more than a few words a normal teacher would say to a student. He still helped him walk the few steps to the sickroom, where he had to leave him to go back to his classroom. It was hard to leave Steve alone, but he would have to trust the woman in charge and let her help the student. 

Steve was only tired, right...

 

That incident caused Tony to become a little paranoiac- and he sure as hell didn't need much to develop weird habits. Steve wanted to stay in his apartment. He had his friends there; Clint and Tasha. Who were now together- oh surprise! -in a strange kind of way, not that Natasha expressed many feelings in general so with them, the whole romantic thing was bullshit. They were good at hair pulling and some dangerous/crazy/probably both things like that. When they did actually act like two real lovers, all sweet like honey and fluffy like pink cotton candy clouds-  _this means a lot_  -it was kind of surprising. But hey, Steve didn't mind, Steve was at ease with all of this. But Tony wasn't. Not because of Clint and Natasha, he didn't mind them having rough sex or, uh, whatever pleases them... He minded having Steve far from him. Because ten minutes in car was far away. Because God knows what could happen when Steve wasn't with him. He seemed to be getting weaker as time passed and the only thing that kept Tony from calling a doctor right now was his own aversion for them. Tony wanted the blond close in order to make sure he was always alright, that nothing bad was happening to him... He wanted to be there if there was a crisis, if Steve was sick, if Steve just blacked out again like it happened two days ago.

Tony won. Of course he did, because Steve was still his perfect little self and gave up pretty easily just to please his lover. Tony... Tony had somehow become a totally new guy. How could he forget to eat when he was always making sure that Steve would have all his meals at a regular time? He had something planned for the kid, a balanced food plan which included food from all four food groups and respected all the recommended servings. That'd give him some energy at least, and even if Steve complained and often whined about not being hungry, Tony made sure he ate at least a couple bites before cutting him some slack. He bathed Steve often, which okay, it wasn't really that bad to have in the hot water a naked Steve pliant and relaxed under his touch. Tony couldn't find anything to complain about if he got the change to rub at Steve's golden skin and work on some tensed muscles in the solid back and broad shoulders, with his calloused yet strong hands. Listening to Steve's humming of content wasn't bad either, he must admit. Well okay, that part of the whole thing was actually great. The sleep also, where they spooned most of the time, Steve's larger frame pressing against him, an arm slipped around Tony's waist. That way he could also notice changes in Steve's body temperature, which was unecessary but made him feel better anyway. He had Jarvis monitor the guy. He was constantly aware of any change. He was probably paranoiac a little, yeah. He was also scared as hell and under a freaking lot of pressure, and we all know Tony Stark doesn't put up real good with that kind of emotion, right? He could barely keep himself from buying a good bottle of scotch. Or two, or ten.

He was getting mad. Steve wasn't the strong, vigorous, very alive and perfect blond guy he had met at the beginning of the year. Steve was still cute and awfully nice and caring, but his lack of energy and his new tendency to catch every virus that seemed to pass needed to stop right now or Tony would definitely lose his mind.

 

 

"Stark!"

Tony almost didn't bother raising his head, but then he changed his mind because hey, you don't mess with Nick Fury... Well, you do, actually, but not when he's in  _fury_. Which happened often and mostly because of Tony; let's say that the other teachers knew how to behave themselves and weren't as smartass as him. Not that it was his fault if they all didn't know how to have fun. Bruce was his favorite; he was smart, he was nice, he was quiet. He never said a thing when Tony acted stupid and that put him on Tony's good side. Yeah, Bruce was ok. The others... Let's not talk about them. They're not worth it. 

"Mmyeah?"

"People talk, you know. Regarding your class. About what your students learn."

"Well of course they do, who wouldn't talk about the class of a genius billionaire?"

 A silence followed. A silence that made Tony's cocky grin fade slowly. Unable to hold Fury's glare for an unknown reason, he set his eyes on his phone and the text message he was about to send before the principal interrupted him. Alright, he wasn't exactly supposed to be playing on his phone while sprawled on a couch in the teacher's room, but he didn't have a class until two in the afternoon so he might as well make himself at ease... Plus he was constantly worried about his boyfriend. After a few days, Steve actually felt better, looked better and was able to come back to school where he took all his classes with no more incident. He wasn't exactly in tip-top condition, but he could have been worse...

"What exactly are you doing, Stark?"

"Texting."

Just as he pressed the send button, he heard the ringtone of Steve's phone right next to him. Immediately, his eyes went wide and he straightened himself, in order to glance towards Fury. It took him a few good seconds to regain composure and stop looking so alarmed.

"That is NOT what I meant, Stark, and you know it well."

"It's not what you think, don't start with a bullshit story, please, I can expl--"

"I've put up with a freaking lot of your shit, Stark. You wanted to play it cool and be a sassy asshole, fine. You wanted to act like a spoiled child and annoy every single person in this school, fine. But texting a  _student?_   There is a thin line that you crossed with this inappropriate behavior and for a teacher especially, it's something that we can't allow. This is  _insane._ We found the boy texting during his art class, took us a while to have him spill it out but he told us when he learned he could get in big trouble... I knew it might be you, see? Now it's a shame everything on this phone auto-destroyed itself before we could have a look at it ... Believe me, I know you have something to do with this."

"You're  _wrong!_  We just started texting each other a few days ago, we exchanged our numbers because Steve is having trouble in Stats and, uh, he's had a few health issues recently, and it was just easier to determine a moment where I could help him raise his grades! I don't want any of my students to fail because they're sick, for fuck's sake!"

"I don't give a single fuck about your reasons, Stark. All I want is for this shit to stop! You better listen carefully now: You won't text him anymore. You won't try to see him out of school; in fact, if you do have to help him in Stats, it's going to happen at school where someone can supervise. I'll know if you go wrong; I won't fire you, you'd be too pleased with that. I'll just make sure that from now on, you'll be docile. You'll behave yourself and watch your step."

"But I assure you that it's not wh--"

" _Shut the fuck up, Stark!"_

Tony gulped and jumped to his feet to try and snatch the phone from Fury, without success. The principal slowly started to walk away while giving Tony a murderous glare:

"Remember... I'll know if you go wrong ..."

Well  **shit**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is shorter than usual but the next one should make up for it :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone :D  
> Try not to have too many expectations, it avoids disappointment. Let life surprise you!  
> Leave the past in the past; There is no point in having remorse, it may be a good thing to move on and live each and every day of this year as if it were your last. Enjoy every moment to the fullest. Be happy. Be happy for you, for the people you love. Be happy because you all deserve it. Be happy because life is too short to linger in misery.  
> I really wish you the best, my dear and lovely readers. May this year be full of joy and love.  
> Love you all and thank you so much <3 xxxx

They were in deep shit.  
Tony couldn't talk to Steve anywhere else than in class, which meant no kissing, no _sex_ , no cute names and sweet 'I love you'. Which meant boring and not so helpful to maintain a strong and beautiful relationship. Steve had once said while talking to a classmate that true love was strong enough to overcome all the difficulties. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and you should never lose faith in true love. It was mostly meant for Tony to hear of course. That was probably the sweetest thing Tony had ever heard in a while and he had to fight the urge to walk to Steve and kiss him until they were both panting.

Tony was slightly distressed by the fact that he couldn't be there to take care of the blond. He knew damn well that the boy was old enough to take care of himself and could take some medicine if he was sick, but the genius simply couldn't help it. He barely spoke to Steve at all because yes, yes he took Fury's threats seriously and yes, he believed the man really was watching him. Not once did he try to go see the student at his apartment nor did he invite him to his place. He wasn't doing it for himself, he was only scared that disobeying to Fury would cause some trouble to Steve. There must be a way out of this situation, there had to be a way, the problem was that Tony still hadn't found it. He could only hope that things would go well until he discovered something. The only thing that kept him from going to Fury and actually wrapping his hands around his neck and watch him die slowly by the lack of air was Steve. Steve who gave him a subtle blow in the leg when he caught him mumbling about the principal, Steve who shook his head once while looking at him, as if the emotions on his face were easily perceptible and he knew Tony tried to plan something against the man. Steve could read him like a book and it sometimes wasn't so useful, but hey. Fine. He just stopped planning things at school when he had a few minutes free. Not that he would stop completely... What Steve doesn't know won't hurt him!

Speaking about Steve, it was an immense joy to see him better again. For an unknown reason, he once walked into Tony's class with his smile brighter than usual and his walk more determined. He had lost weight in the few past weeks and his chest looked awkwardly broad since his waist was skinnier, but now it seemed like he was starting to gain what he had lost. It was always a pleasure for Tony to see the boy feeling stronger, paying more attention in class and stop leaving every now and then for the sickroom. Steve was still leaving the class though, for other reasons. He kept being called out of his classes, mostly out of Tony's, and normally disappeared for a good fifteen minutes to half an hour. It drove Tony crazy. He was sure there was some Nick Fury behind this, didn't know what the man was doing to his boyfriend but the urge to murder the principal with his own hands was getting stronger. Tony can sometimes be an asshole that's true, but don't touch the people he loves or he'll get really, really mad.

 

 

There was a time when life was way easier, Steve thought with a sigh. He remembered the beginning of the year, when he kept fighting with Tony and hating on him right until that trip in California, where hate suddenly became love, urgent, passionate. He remembered the time they spent texting each other without knowing, the naughty pictures Tony was sending him, the first time they crossed the line of sanity by grinding into each other at two in the morning in that hotel room... Life was easier. They didn't have to worry about people who didn't approve, Steve wasn't feeling like shit and they were both happy. Just happy. Life really sucks. Like they say, all good things come to an end, and the blond could only wish that it wasn't true. It was hard for him to see Tony constantly worried about him; he wanted to tell him he was fine, reassure him, but he wasn't exactly fine, he had no idea what was happening to him and instead of lying to the teacher, he simply didn't say a word. It probably wasn't better, but what could he do?The blond kept seeing Nick Fury during classes. It didn't please him but he knew damn well he didn't have no choice but to obey as the principal had a woman Steve had never seen before to give him a complete check up. While Steve was suspicious about Fury, he inexplicably trusted the woman and let her check if he was in good health. Which he never was, never completely. The fluctuations of his health weren't predictable and nobody could explain it. Just as he was getting stronger, he got sick and touched bottom again, then after a while he started doing better again and could go on like that for a week or two before having another relapse. His life was getting crazy, not that this was unusual to him. He had been through a lot worse during his childhood... He just thought this was finally over. Seemed like it wasn't.

 

 

"Jarvis, what's happening?"

"This is highly protected for a simple school server, Sir. I will have to recalculate some datas."

"Fury you little fucker..."

Tony stood up and started pacing in his workshop, his hands buried in his brown hair. Trying to hack Fury's server wasn't as easy as he would have thought, which was weird and kind of worrying. One does not simply use a maximal security system worthy of the FBI or some shit, when it's just a freaking school. Jarvis would be able to hack it anyway, nothing can resist Tony Stark after all, but it still was suspicious and he didn't like that at all. 

"Do you think he's more than a school principal? He probably is. He's all mysterious and kinda creepy and he puts his nose where it's not wanted... I don't know, Jarvis, I don't like the guy at all, I feel like he's planning something or plotting against me or maybe both, who knows with that guy-- Hey, are you done yet?"

"Getting there, Sir."

Tony sprawled himself on the couch he kept in a corner of his workshop. After looking at the ceiling for about a minute, he couldn't bear it anymore and stood up, only to start pacing again. The fact that he had had about six cups of coffee didn't help him calm down. It would have been easier if he had been able to mess with Fury's personal computer at school, but since that was nearly impossible without being caught and getting into a shit load of trouble, he had to spend more time on it at his own place to finally get what he wanted. He wasn't really patient. Not when things he was working on were that important. He couldn't stop asking Jarvis if it was done, if he was getting something, if there was a fucking faster way to do it- and thank god the AI didn't call him down on that, although he did sound annoyed when he repeated for yet another time that it wouldn't take much longer. God bless Jarvis. He's litterally the best.

"We have successfully hacked the school's server, Sir" Jarvis finally said calmly as Tony almost ran towards the screens. He didn't bother sitting down, only pushing the chair away and standing in front of the holographic screens on which he started moving his fingers. A few folders didn't look interesting at all ... at first sight everything really was about school: students list, transcripts, other information about classes and the school in general with its different programs. There was a folder about the science fair, one about the different activities that happened at school ... Nothing really classified or that required that much security. And then, Tony found it. A folder that didn't seem suspicious at all, but when he clicked on it by simple curiosity, he found out the latest medical update about Steve and the following mention:  _Steve Rogers ~ SSS ?_

Well that means nothing. 

"Jarvis? What the hell?"

"I'm afraid I cannot explain this statement, Sir, for I don't have enough information regarding the meaning of those letters. I can however tell that Mr. Rogers is actually in a not so bad shape, according to this report."

"Yeah well no shit, Sherlock."

Jarvis didn't say a thing, which made Tony think that he had upset him. That AI was impossible, really... Sometimes, he really wondered why he had invented it. But that's just him being childish, because Jarvis was truly amazing and he had no idea how he would do without him. 

"SSS ... Does one S stands for Steve? Do you think I can google it? I mean maybe it's something pretty common that I could--Ah! Subsurface Scattering! Nope... doooon't think so. Uh ... Shit, Shower, Shave?"

"If I may, you are being ridiculous, Sir."

"... Yeah."

Tony sighed and turned away from the screens, walking to the chair he had pushed further away and sitting on it, leaning back against the chair and closing his eyes. The only things he had found about Steve, or well let's say the only things a little suspicious he had found at all, were a medical file and a few words that made no sense to him. It didn't help him much right here. Didn't reassure him nor scare him. He just didn't know what to think about that. 

"Who the hell are you..." he murmured, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling. Who the hell was Nick Fury? How did he know that Steve was texting a teacher, how did he even suspect a thing? What was that SSS thing? No one could tell. They were just lucky the man didn't seem to know that they did  _more_  than just text each other. That would have been bad.  _Horrible_. Tony sighed again and rubbed a hand through his hair.

"You'll do a research, right, Jarv?"

"Of course, Sir."

 

 

So there was nothing in the school server that might help Tony and he still didn't know how to see Steve alone without being caught. 

One day, as he was walking towards his classroom, he passed Clint and Natasha, who where probably arguing again, oh surprise. Their voices were low but it still drew his attention to them and he came to a stop, looking intensely at them. Right there, it suddenly occured to him. Yeah. Yeah that could work. That was actually the best idea ever- or not, but clearly one of the best. The genius took a few steps towards the couple and cleared his throat to make sure they would notice him before he was actually right beside them. He didn't want to interrupt to suddenly, for he was actually a little scared of that girl: she looked like she could rip your balls off with her bare hands- and like she wouldn't really hesitate to do it if you pissed her off. Lowering his voice, after a quick look around, Tony murmured:

"Could you let Steve know that I'm trying to find a way to get us out of this mess?"

He assumed they both knew what was happening, since they lived with Steve.

"Tell him I love him and I hope he's fine and uh... Tell him to watch out, Fury's weird and I don't trust him."

"We're not your messenger,  _Mister Stark"_ Natasha replied calmly, her voice cold.

Tony gulped but could see for a brief second a smirk forming on the girl's lips as Clint elbowed her. That guy was great. Did Tony ever say that? He was the best. After Steve and Jarvis.

"Sure, we'll do it."

They didn't exchange any other word and Tony left before anyone else could notice. It was easier to speak to them than to Steve in that freaking school and maybe they could communicate like that; still better than nothing. He didn't have to wait long for the reply. At lunch time, Clint walked by him and stopped him with a hand on his bicep, not even looking at him while he murmured:

"Loves you too, doing great, don't do anything stupid or he'll kick your ass when everything's over."

Clint was gone before Tony had the time to say anything, and so he stood there with a smile on his face, heat invading his whole body and making him feel great. Yeah. 

They went on like that for a while. Steve really had great friends. They didn't have to do it but they did it anyway, because they cared about Steve and they wanted to help him. Tony was amazed by that loyalty, that pure and strong friendship. It made him wish he had had someone like that when he was younger. Wish he hadn't always been alone... Of course it wasn't easy and they had to find original ways to talk to each other so people wouldn't find it strange; it wasn't really a problem, those two were like ninjas. Really. They would sneak up on Tony and he would never see them before they actually showed themselves to him- let's not talk about the few almost heart attacks they gave him, that is none of your business.

Then, Steve started feeling bad again and he disappeared from school.

 

 

_The strong hands left burning paths along his too sensitive skin; it was like lava was running through his veins, setting fire to his insides and making him see stars. One of them came up to cup his face, the thumb caressing his lower lip. Instantly, he darted his pink tongue and flicked it against his lips before licking and nibbling at the golden skin, then he turned his head slightly to press a soft kiss against the pulse he could feel on the wrist: strong, quick with arousal and very, very alive. Parting his lips, a few mewling sounds escaped his throat and strong fingers massaging his nape were his reward for being such a good boy. The mewlings again. Brown eyes huge and clouded with desire. The hand at the back of his head, feeling so great, so possessive. Yes, please, more, please. He didn't flinch when two fingers were gently pressed against his lips; only parted them and immediately sucked at the two digits, humming around them, looking up while doing so, as if waiting for approval. He got a husky grunt, lustful eyes staring down at him. Gosh, he loved that. Would always enjoy the way the clear blue was easily swallowed by the black pupils with only a thing or two he did with his tongue. That beautiful body reacted so well, so perfectly, he just couldn't believe it. And all of this was his. With a low moan, he gently bit at the two fingers, trying to keep them in his mouth while they tried to pull away. He finally released them but replied with a pout, lips red and glistening, appealing enough that they were soon caught in a feverish kiss. Their mouths hungrily moved together in a kind of sloppy way, burning with desire and love, full of tongues and teeth. Heat, heat was everywhere, he couldn't get enough of that beautiful mouth, couldn't stop running his hands on that broad chest and well-defined hipbones, couldn't help but wish they would fucking skip the prep and he would finally get more than two fingers pressed inside him; although the-- A-Aaaaaah, the way they still managed to brush against his sweet spot was almost enough to finish him right there, right now. He was begging now. He was babbling nonsense, he couldn't bear it anymore, he needed it buried deep inside his tight heat. He could feel it pushing past the tight ring of muscles, tearing a moan from his lips. Good God... The thrusts were sharp and fast, everything he wanted and everything he needed. He cried when his hips were lifted slightly to change the angle just a bit, making each thrust it that spot inside him that made his head spin and his whole body shake and squirm with inquisite pleasure. The pleasure was building and building at a furious pace, and suddenly the heat exploded and he cried out as he came on his stomach already covered with precum. Then the trusting slowed down, letting him catch his breath a little, and finally there was the feeling of a strong body that came to rest on top of his after having spent himself... He suddenly noticed that the body over his was strangely cold; the hands on his hips loosening their grip. A shiver shook his body; one of fear, as he also found out that his own shaky, panting breath was the only one that could be heard... No, no please god no! NOOOOOOOOOO!!_

Tony abruptly woke up with a startle, stuck in a state of panic. Despite Jarvis' words that kept trying to calm him down, he kept looking around with wide, scared eyes, his body sweating, breathing heavily. It was as if he was looking for a cold corpse, trying to find out if it was reality or just an awful nightmare. It took him a good five minutes to finally relax and realise Steve was still fine, Steve was not here and he wasn't dead. Plus another five minutes for his heart to stop beating a mile a minute and his erratic breath to calm down. Growling, the genius rolled over and buried his face in a pillow, muttering unintelligible words into that said pillow. 

"I took the initiative to have some breakfast delivered, Sir."

"...Check me up?"

"Vital signs have mostly returned to their normal state, Sir. Blood pressure is still a little high, I recommend lying there for a couple more minutes and relax."

"Thanks buddy... Make some coffee while you're at it?"

After a few minutes, Tony slowly crawled off the bed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants to put on before walking to the kitchen. He wasn't exactly hungry but he still grabbed a muffin, sitting at the counter and eating a few bites half-heartedly. The first thing that caught his attention was the clicking noises coming from the hall. There were some murmurs, a few odd sounds like fabric being crumpled, then suddenly a few words still too low for him to hear, but loud enough so he was able to recognize the voice.

"Pep? Pepper, s'that you?"

"Tony? You're up?"

"No, just sleepwalking. Want a muffin?"

Tony didn't bother moving, only waiting for Pepper to walk to the kitchen and give him a smile of her own, one that could always make him feel better, at least a little bit. He lifted his arms towards her, she got the cue and wrapped her owns around him, hugging him tightly.

"I heard for the mess at school. I ... I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do..."

"Shhh. It's alright Pep, just don't talk about it. Please."

The woman nodded and pulled back from the hug, grabbing a blueberry muffin and sitting next to Tony. The genius took a moment to look at her; she was truly beautiful and he had no trouble knowing why he had fallen in love with her at first. She was an amazing woman, so strong and caring, able to put up with his shit and always have his back... He wouldn't be anything without her. They were not working, not like that. He had Steve, he loved the guy, he was happy like that and she was happy for him too. If just felt comforting to know that Pepper would always be there. He liked her a lot. 

A slightly awkward silence followed, like they couldn't find anything to talk about that wasn't about Steve or how Tony was feeling. Pepper leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder, barely eating her muffin, as he placed an arm around her waist and sighed.

"Think I can overcome yet another load of shit? I-I'm scared, Pepper, I'm scared I won't be strong enough this time..."

"Oh Tony... Tony don't you dare talk like that! Of course you'll make it out of this mess... I know you can. You've already done so much, you're the strongest person I know. You'll be alright. I believe in you. I believe in you, Tony, you hear me?"

"I was strong because Steve was there. Steve was being strong for both of us, Pep... Alone, I'm not worth anything. I needed him and he helped me, that's all."

"Then now it's time to exchange the roles."

Tony didn't say a thing. He could feel Pepper petting his hair, her warm presence against his side. It hurt to admit that she was right. It scared the hell out of him to know that yes, this time, it was his turn to be the stronger one and save them both. Steve had already done so much for him, he couldn't let him down, not now, not when he needed him the most. It just seemed unreal to believe that he could be that strong guy. Yet he had to believe it and do his best, because no one else could do it for him. 

"I'll have to go, Tony. I just came to say hello."

"Alright. I, er... Thanks, Pepper. Love you."

"Love you too, Tony."

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood up, walking towards the hall. Tony didn't move, staring at her until she was out of sight. Soon enough, he heard another murmur, the door open then close and he buried his face in his hands with a deep sigh. Alright. He would need a minute or two, or fifteen. And some coffee. 

... Or a lapful of huge Bernese Moutain Dog that threw him to the ground.

For once in his lifetime, he was grateful that the dog enthusiastically washed his face with its tongue, for it was wiping away the tears that had started running down Tony's cheeks. Pepper, lovely Pepper... Hands buried in the dog's fur, rubbing his head against the animal's one, he let out a strangled laugh and tried to straighten himself. A dog. He sucked at taking care of himself and Pepper had bought him a dog. Even Steve hadn't tried that, although he would surely have loved to. They were all crazy, really, Tony couldn't believe it. Yet, he was truly happy again, happy as he held the dog against him, as he pet its head slowly.

"Hey, Einstein, buddy... I told you you would find a family one day, didn't I ? Good God... You're so sneaky, how did you even stay quiet in the hall for that long before running right to me? What a good dog, eh, you're a good dog, you know that? Oh, uh... Jarv?"

"Already ordering dog supplies, Sir."

"You rule, Jarv."

 

Tony ended up in his workshop; one should have seen it coming. Since Einstein was the master of puppy eyes-- Steve must have learned from him --Tony had agreed to let him come to the workshop with him, as long as the dog stay quiet. He didn't want it to mess with his things. He had something  really important to work on, an idea that just came out of the blue, but that made him fairly excited. And so he was working on it. Working until his body wouldn't follow his mind anymore, until even the mind would shut down and let him know he  _really_ needed some rest... Working until Einstein barked and scratched at the door so Tony would take it outside. Then for a walk. Gosh, that dog was annoying as hell... 

~~

"Einstein, are you sure it's a present from you? Ahh you shouldn't have, you really shouldn't have... You know me too well..."

Tony slumped onto the sofa and titled his head back with a sigh, before looking towards the dog lying right next to him. On the sofa. A dog on furnitures. Oh well. It tried to lick at Tony's hand when he pet its head, which made the man laugh. He took another swallow right from the bottle and his face suddenly became dead serious as he looked at the dog.

"I love you. You're the ... the best dog ever... And I can have you with me forever... Fury won't give a shit if I have a dog right? Hey, Einstein... Marry me."

The dog didn't react much beside raising his head and yawning. It didn't cool Tony down even a bit. 

"I'm a rich motherfucker, what more do you want? I mean, I'm also super caring and loving, look who took you outside for a piss, buddy... I'm sure Steve wouldn't mind me marrying you. Steve's pretty open-minded ... uh, well, I think, I don't know? ...  a-and he loves you too, doesn't he? He'd be happy to see me happy... Oh please say yes baby, don't let me down, they all usually do... I can buy you bones to chew and uh, you'll sleep with me in my bed, that's what most dogs dream about, right, sleeping on an actual bed? So?"

"Tony are you drunk?"

"Yes, no, maybe... I don't knooow...... Can you repeat the question?"

"Tony that isn't funny, where did you get all that alcohol?"

"You gave it to me...?"

"Wait, what?"

The man didn't respond. He blinked once, twice, rubbed his eyes with his hands and stared blankly at the dog. There was something wrong with this. Alright, maybe he had a little too much alcohol, for real. He couldn't quite figure out why a dog was talking to him and it was driving his brain crazy. Not much can surprise Tony Stark, but a talking dog can. 

"What what?"

"Tony, I'm talking to you!"

"I-I know, how can you... I mean, we were talking about marriage, how did you suddenly ..."

"We never talked about..."

"HOW IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU EVEN TALKING!?" 

Silence. Then:

"... Tony ... On your right..."

Blinking again, the genius turned slightly to his right to glance towards the doors of the workshop and his lost gaze met Pepper's one. Oh. Hello, lovely Pepper... There was a moment of silence before she walked to him and took the bottle from his hand. She looked disappointed which wasn't so good, but at least her eyes became fond when Tony curled himself against the dog instead, buried his hands in its fur and looked up at her with big brown eyes. Yes, he loves the dog, right. Let him sleep with the dog. Oh, upstairs? Upstairs would be alright, whoa, his head was spinning, drinking while sitting down wasn't his best idea... Take it slow, Pep, damnit! 

Pepper dragged him upstairs as best as she could, tucking him in bed and watching with a smile as Tony slipped an arm around the dog and moved closer to its warm body. All of this was hard on Tony. She knew he was doing his best to cope with everything, but it was hard to keep the old habits from kicking in.He was a strong man. He didn't really trust himself and she could understand that, after all he'd been through and after, well... Knowing what his father had done. But he wasn't like his father. He was good to Steve, Pepper knew it. Tony was a good man who was just having a hard time... He had to see Steve. He really had to, or he'd go crazy.

Soon enough. Soon enough, he'd be able. 

She would see to it. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a part of this chapter while listening to the song Pieces by Red. This song is sad and truly beautiful... There is that moment in the song that gets me everytime, when the music starts to get louder and you can feel the desperation it in ... Gives me goosebumps.  
> I put the instrumental (kind of, although you can still hear the voices a little bit, but really quietly so it doesn't disturb the reading) in the chapter so if you'd like, you could play it in background while reading the said part.  
> It's up to you and it doesn't change anything to the story at all if you don't listen to it. I just thought maybe some people might enjoy it as much as I do :) Feel free to give me feedback on this experience :)

Steve was feeling sore. It was a feeling he wasn't used to anymore, at least not in that kind of way. He had played football, he knew what it was to have a few good bruises and to have his limbs hurt like hell, but this was different. The pain was everywhere, in his body as well as in his soul, everything was aching in an unpleasant way and he felt sick all at once. He wasn't moving much now. They didn't want him to keep going to school. His state was getting worse, no more ups, just downs, painful downs that left him scared and all alone. Lying in his hospital bed, he couldn't help but think that he wouldn't make it. It was getting harder to have a normal life; to eat and walk and bath like everybody else. His body was protesting and felt like he was three times Tony's age- freaking old. Old, shitty and hard to move around. Not always responding as he was supposed to. Hell, some days he could barely walk; the others, when his legs felt strong enough to support his whole body weight, asthma was taking over him and confining him to bed. Yeah. He felt like shit. Deep shit.

He was seeing a lot of people. People in bright white uniforms, sympathetic smiles plastered to their features and smelling of fake, fake and even faker. A glowing sign written 'We don't care about you, we're just doing our job' would have been more subtle. Their words were warm and soft, their voice cold and it left Steve with the impression that they were giving every patient the same, memorized set phrases. They probably were. They were giving him some kind of syrup, a bright blue one that reminded him of Tony's reactor, that smelled like strawberries and tasted like bananas. It made him feel better afterwards, for the following four hours at least. He had never seen such a thing but he assumed it was some kind of new medicine for people that were badly sick, just like him. Something to barely keep them in a not so bad shape for lack of real cure to their disease. He wasn't getting his hopes up, here. His condition was bad. Everytime he asked what was wrong with him, nobody gave him clear answers. They didn't know. They didn't know, what to do with him, Steve had figured. He was going to die, eventually, it was a fact. They didn't tell him. It was just the look on their face that changed everytime he asked, going from the composed sad smile to a slightly distraught look. Steve knew it. He wasn't a fool. 

 

~~~~~

Steve tried to force his eyes open. It was hard, he felt weaker than ever and his body seemed to weight tons. It took him a moment to feel the heat over his hand. Calloused hand that gently pressed his fingers, a thumb slowly caressing circles on the back of his hand. He did his best to squeeze back. Warm fingers came to brush his cheek, the touch soft and comforting. He wanted to stay like that forever, to enjoy this feeling for as long as he had left. Suddenly, the fingers were gone, Tony was standing up. Honey! Please, don't go. Don't leave me... ... He wasn't leaving. He grabbed something left against the wall. A disk. Made in metal. A perfectly shaped circle, smooth. Tony brought it close to the bed for Seve to touch, sitting back on his chair. It should have been cold; it wasn't. It was warm, it was simple, silver and just slightly blue from the light coming from the reactor. Instinctively, Steve knew what it was. A shield...

"You've always been my little supersoldier..." Tony murmured, voice low, shaking. 

Eyes half-opened, he fixed them on the man sitting next to his bed. He felt like crying. He couldn't even thank him; Tony seemed to understand anyway, for he smiled, eyes unusually shiny. Steve enjoyed the sight of him, his dark disheveled hair in contradiction to his well trimmed goatee, his long lashes that gave so much depth to his gorgeous brown eyes, the hint of a sad smile replacing his usual confident smirk ... The blue glow of the arc reactor pierced through the thin black shirt and Steve only wanted to press his hand to the tepid device, feel it, cherish it with all his heart and soul. He had loved it since the first time, during this trip to California. When Tony had opened up to him, scared but strong at the same time, telling him things he had never told anyone else... The beginning of everything ... It had only taken a few words and a brush of his fingers to ignite the fire that slept in both of them. To make them come to life and admit things the way they were; They had fallen in love. People might disapprove, people might hate on them. Fury might try to separate them. Steve didn't care. He loved the man. He loved him more than he had ever loved anyone else. He loved him like crazy, loved him more and more every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Loved him in the morning, disheveled and grumpy, loved him when he was busy in the workshop, greasy, messy, focused, loved him at parties, wearing a suit and cologne, drinking champagne and smirking left and right, loved him at night when he became the sweetest man Steve had ever known, cuddled with him in front of a movie and petted his hair although Tony was the one who loved being petted the most. He loved him when he was serious, loved him when he was joking, loved him when he was angry... He loved everything of the amazing man that was Tony Stark, and seeing him right now, confused and sad, angry and concerned all at once, sitting next to his bed, holding his hand ... It was almost too much. His lower lip trembling, he squeezed Tony's hand harder. The man was crying now, he could see it, it the faint light of the reactor; tears running down his cheeks, brown eyes filled with water, not even hiding it, only letting go ... 

In the semidarkness of the room, Tony Stark was truly handsome. He was crying, he was smiling, and it was beautiful. The shadows played on his face and body, dazzling the blond in the most pleasant way, as well as making his heart clench and ache. He didn't want him to be sad. He wanted him to enjoy that moment as if it were their last. Because... Because it probably was. Steve licked his lips, once, twice, trying to get the words out. 'I love you'. He didn't recognize his own voice at first; he cleared his throat and repeated, louder. 'Tony, I love you'. Tony's smile slowly grew bigger at the words. A smile full of both sadness and love. The genius kept looking at him through the water invading his eyes, using his free hand to wipe one of his cheeks. A strangled laugh escaped his lips, he slowly shook his head, moving a little closer to the bed. 'I love you too'. They stayed like that, unmoving, holding hands. It felt good. Peaceful. After a moment, some movement again. Steve closed his eyes as Tony came to lie on the bed beside him. He curled himself in the man's arms, his head finding its place in Tony's neck, as they often did in Tony's living room... Most of the nights, actually...The calloused hand, petting his brown hair. Moving down his neck to his strong back, fingertips following his spine. It was hard to think that this was maybe the last time. Steve breathed in the smell of the older man, that earthy smell mixed with expensive cologne, a smell he was used to, a smell he had come to adore over the months they had spent together. That voice, as Tony began singing to him, that one song he was singing while playing the piano at school, a few months ago. Then the melody changed, Tony gently hummed other lyrics... Steve would never get enough of that slightly husky voice. A voice he could recognize anywhere, a laugh that made him feel special.  _Then I see your face, I know I'm finally yours..._ He moved his hand up Tony's arm, brushing his fingers over his collarbone, moving to tease in the open collar of his black shirt... 'Love me'. Tony fell silent. They both did. The silence lingered between them as there was a delay before Tony actually proceeded to do just that. The genius shifted, the sound of crumpling clothes finally breaking the silence. Steve opened his eyes again, watching the face of the man now lying over him, using his forearms for support. He was close now, close enough for Steve to press his lips to Tony's ones, the kiss slow and chaste but desperate at the same time. They needed more. They feared it could be that last. They made it long and worth it, couldn't find the strength to part. They belonged there: in each other's arms.  _I find everything I thought I lost before..._ He had had sex with Tony. Lots of sex actually. More than a twenty-one years old boy still in college should be proud of. They had sex and it was exquisitely good, Tony was gentle with him, patient, caring... But right now, right there, in a dark hospital room, real slow and good ... They made love.

It felt like it had never felt before. At this very instant, it meant the world. Their bodies gently moved together in the most intimate way, fitting perfectly as if it was meant to be. Sweet dance of passion and love... Steve lost himself in the hot, soft grunts escaping Tony's mouth, inches away from his, often pressing kisses to those beautiful, slightly parted lips. Then to his jaw, his neck, every bit of skin he could reach with his avid mouth. There was something of an unmatched beauty in this act of love, a beauty that the greatest painter wouldn't be able to capture with his brushes, that the greatest author wouldn't be able to describe in words, that nobody would ever be able to replicate. They didn't rush, didn't go fast and hard. It had never been so slow. It had never been so good. It lasted long. It was still too short. Steve didn't want it to end. He would have died like this. With Tony's body covering his, filling his, making him feel complete again ...Steve breathed fast and hard against the soft olive skin of Tony's neck, his body arching from the bed to meet his. Beautiful, sweet love-making. Desperate, sad love-making. Because that's what it was; it was more than just lust. Love. Love in its most pure form. Love beyond sickness, love beyond death. Love beyond everything. _You call my name ..._ They fell back on the bed, cuddling, still silent, slightly panting. I love you. I need you. Don't leave me. I love you.

_I come to you in pieces..._

Steve was perfect. A star that should never go out. Life without him would be wrong. He was his first true love... he would be his last. There, Tony was silently sobbing now. He had survived his life with hurt and loneliness by his side; then he had met Steve. Opened his heart, told him his secrets. Steve had changed his life, and he really loved him so... The feelings he had for the boy ... There was no power stronger than that. He sometimes wondered what he would do if Steve was gone. He couldn't even bear the idea. He would never let him go. Couldn't bring himself to. Don't you dare leave me, Steve Rogers, don't you dare go and give the angels your lovely smile; they're already good, they don't need you there, not yet. You wouldn't do them as much good as you're doing to me. There is on Earth a lonely soul that found its leading light in you. There is a man that thought he had everything, except that he had nothing. Because he didn't have you. And now that he does, he never wants to let you go. Stay with me, sweet, lovely Steve, with your concrete pecs and your baby blue eyes, stay with me because I have loved you, I love you and I will always love you. You're my heart. My everything. I would be nothing without you ... a-and-and I can't even ... I-I... Don't go Steve, just don't fucking go ... P-Please ... You  _have_   _to_ stay... 

_So you ... can ... make .... me whole ..._

Steve closed his eyes, and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Short but powerful (I hope). I actually wrote the ending with tears in my eyes and it seemed perfect to stop it there even though I know it is awfully short. I'm still sorry for that. Or not.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been pretty busy the last few days, here is a short chapter anyway :)

Tony didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with the blond forever, love him, cherish him and always be by his side until he'd feel better again. He knew there wasn't anything possible in those thoughts. He could not stay; they had asked him a few times already, to get dressed and leave. He knew Steve would ... Steve would probably never make it. It hurt like hell to think like this, but he didn't get his hopes up ... He couldn't, anymore. Steve wasn't much optimistic either, which didn't help. Basically, he was on the verge of shattering into pieces again, even more broken than when Steve had found him and put him back together. Worse. So much worse. He wasn't, not now at least, because Steve needed him to be strong. Pepper had been right, he could be the strongest one for a while, show Steve some support. He was able to do that. He loved him so much...

"Mr. Stark..."

"I know. Coming..."

He didn't dare try to ask for another minute. It was the fourth time already. 'Give me a moment'. 'Give me five minutes'. 'Just give me a minute, please' ... 

He gently brushed Steve's blond hair out of his forehead, stroking his cheek with his thumb one last time. The boy was still sleeping, that same little smile still lingering on his face. He looked peaceful. Tony wasn't sure if the view reassured him or not. He glanced at the thing he had made for Steve, then decided to leave it there. He had no idea what the boy could do with it, didn't even know why he had made it in the first place, but maybe it would remind Steve of him. Remind him how Tony thought- no, how Tony  _knew_  he was strong and brave and wonderful. 

"Love you, babe" he murmured.

And he left without looking back, or he might actually burst in tears.

 

 

Tony slightly turned his head in order to look at Einstein. The dog was lying next to where his master was sprawled on the floor of the workshop, in a black sweater and pyjamas pants. He didn't dare wag his tail, as if knowing that Tony wasn't feeling alright and would be annoyed by the gesture. Dogs aren't stupid; Einstein knew very well that something was wrong and he did try to lighten Tony's mood by pressing his cold and wet noise in the man's neck. Tony did laugh a little, probably because it tickled more than because he really felt like it, but soon pushed his head away and although he started petting him slowly, his smile faded away. The brown eyes of the dog seemed really fond when Tony stared into them. Einstein ... Steve would have loved Einstein. The dog was brilliant. He never pulled like crazy on the leash when Tony took him for a walk. He could actually remove it completely and Einstein would stay by his side, well behaved, until Tony gave him the go. Then, he would run in the park, try to get Tony to play with him, but when the genius said it was enough, it was enough, and the dog followed him back home, calm again.

Einstein always waited faithfully for his return. When Tony came back from school, he barely had time to unlock and open the door that Einstein was next to him, tail wagging, happily panting and bumping against Tony's leg until the man petted him a little. The genius could allow him to the workshop because he never touched anything except the sofa and the toys he might have left there. Einstein really was the best dog ever and if Tony had already thought that pets were only a waste of time and money, he immediately changed his mind when it came to  _his_ dog. Yeah ... Steve would have liked him. And Einstein would have liked him back. 

"What should I do? I'm lost, buddy, I'm so lost, I have no idea what I should do for Steve... I-I'm not ready for this. I'll never be. It's like I can't believe what's happening ..."

Einstein suddenly stood up and Tony frowned, watching him walk to the desk. When the dog put his paws on it, the genius straightened himself a bit and growled:

"Einstein, down. Einstein!"

The dog fell back on four paws, but holding something very gently between his teeth. He walked back to Tony, wagging his tail now, the traitor, and let the man grab the album he had carefully carried. The album. The one Steve had given him. With a sigh, rest his head against the dog and started looking at the pages slowly. Yeah. He wasn't sure if this was helping. Thinking about the great moments he had spent with Steve, when the boy was dying. It hurt and made him feel good at the same time and he didn't know exactly which of these feelings was the strongest at the moment. He just kept looking at it because somehow he couldn't bring himself to stop. 

"Sir, incoming call from a certain--"

"I said block all incoming calls. Don't bother me with this. I don't wanna talk to anybody, I don't wanna see anybody. If it's Pep... uh, if it's Pepper, answer the call or she might burst in and ... be mad at me."

"It happens to be from a certain Phil Coulson, Sir."

"... Shit. Answer it."

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling while the voice of the man filled the room. He knew the guy a little. Knew he worked with Fury. Knew he was kind of friend with Pepper. Knew he couldn't afford to ignore the call; it might actually be important.

"Mr. Stark, I have some... news for you regarding Mr. Rogers."

"If you're calling for Fury, tell him to do his fucking job himself."

"I'm not calling on the behalf of anyone but myself, Mr. Stark. While they thought it was classified information, I thought I should still let you know. Oh, I know a lot more about this story than you think, actually, information that even Fury has no idea about. Now listen to me. From my point of view, what you have with Steven Rogers is precious. He's been good to you and, apparently, it seems that you've been good to him."

"Don't sound so surprised..." Tony mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Now I believe you deserve to know something. That's why I am calling."

"Is he okay? Is he ... Will he ... He'll survive, right?"

"I am not a doctor, Mr. Stark. I can tell that he doesn't look good; to know if he will make it or not is not my department. I can only tell you that they have thought it would be better for the boy to move him someplace where they could give him better treatments and medicine."

"Where is he?" He didn't mean to sound to harsh, but the anger could be felt in his voice. 

"In a secret medical base in Russia. The place is secure and we believe the boy has better chances over there, for the-- Mr. Stark? ... Mr. Stark! ... Uh. You're welcome, I guess."

 

Russia. Fucking Russia! 

Tony couldn't believe it. Things were getting absolutely out of control. Steve was just a normal kid from Brooklyn, he was going to get a college degree, Tony was teaching Stats, they were together, the end. Life was already fucked up enough when they were sticking to that, now things were just  _crazy._ Steve was sick. Why was Steve fucking sick? Why was Fury a super secret agent of secret stuff or whatever it is that he was beside being a school principal? It was now clear as crystal that something wasn't right in this whole thing. They were not taking him there for no reason. Maybe they would experiment on him? Why would they? ... Steve wasn't any kind of special beside having the best personality ever... Tony couldn't make sense of anything anymore. It was too hard, he missed too many pieces of information... Think, genius, think... THINK!

For now, all he needed to do was find Steve. Before it was actually too late, before they did any kind of weird stuff on him. If he was going to die, then it might as well be in a nice way. At home, with the people he loved, with his grandmother, with his friends. He had to enjoy even his very last minute. That wouldn't happen if he let him in that base in Russia. Tony had to get him out of there. But how? A private jet with his name plastered on it wouldn't be exactly the best approach, he knew that. He just had no other way to travel there fast and easy and there was no way he would be able to bring Steve back in a regular plane... He needed to think ... To find a way ... There had to be a way...

That's when Tony's eyes fell on the album he had left open on the floor. Steve's drawing caught his attention. 'The hero behind the mask'. The hero... Nah. He wasn't a hero. He was just a guy in love. Pretty similar when you think about it. You would do anything for the one you love, even try to take over the universe if that could save him. That makes you kind of a superhero, doesn't it? The hero behind the mask ... a shiny red and gold armor ... Steve had so much imagination. It would never stop amazing him. An armor ... .... 

The hero behind the mask.

_Steve Rogers, you're a fucking genius!_

 

 

"I don't think this is a good idea, Sir."

"What, the armor?"

"Precisely. This project should take a lot more time to build and a battery of tests should be ran to ensure that it is safe."

"We don't have time for this, Jarvis," Tony groaned around the screwdriver he was holding between his clenched teeth, both his hands busy at the moment with something else.

He cut the power of the tool he was using and ran a hand through his sweaty hair, the grabbed the screwdriver from his mouth and started working again. He had been at it for three days straight, not bothering to sleep. Jarvis didn't agree with the plan; he could understand why. He really could. It was almost suicidal to build that thing and fly to Russia in a so short lapse of time, but he had no other choice. He just had to focus on important things; make sure the suit wouldn't lack of power, that it would stand the cold and be able to lift an additional hundred and ninety pounds of blond student... well actually, probably less than that since he wasn't eating much anymore...

"I still have to recalculate data regarding your idea of using the reactor as a power source for the suit."

"Then do it now. It's not too late."

"We are also unsure of the calibration of the stabilisers. Also, I would recommend a flight test--"

"We will do one. That will be when I'll fly there. If I make it, it passed the test. Then we bring Steve back and we start to work on every gap of this suit to make it safer. Then, I'll let you run all the tests you want."

Jarvis didn't reply, but Tony knew that he was disapproving. Not that he was in position of making the final decision, he wouldn't really have no choice but to assist Tony if the man decided to go and take the prototype suit for a flight. 

"I think we're about ready. I should be able to leave by tomorrow evening. Think I'll ... get some sleep now. That'd be good. How long has it been now?"

"Sixty-eight hours, Sir."

"Alright. I'll take a nap. Wake me up in a few hours, there are some things I need to check twice before I leave."

"Sir, there is a 61% chance that-"

"I know Jarvis, I've done the math too. We'll just have to rely on the other 39% and hope I'll make it alive. I've done worse."

"Very well."

Tony set everything aside and stood up, rubbing his face with his hands. He should go for a shower first, actually, but he suddenly felt tired, as if the obvious lack of sleep had chosen this exact moment to kick in. Sighing, he called for Einstein and turned off the lights to the workshop, following his dog upstairs. It was good to have a plan to stick to. Something to occupy his mind, something to focus on that didn't seem stupid- well, it did, but at least he had a goal and there was a chance he would make it. A slight chance. It was still better than nothing. Tony was on his way for the bathroom when light in the hall caught his attention. It was past midnight, it seemed unlikely to have visitors right now... Unless it was bad news. Nobody would come to tell you good news in the middle of the night ... but bad ones...

No. It couldn't be that. There was nobody, he had just left the lights on that's all.

But when he walked over there, he almost ran into Pepper. Pressing a hand to his reactor, he closed his eyes for a second.

"Gosh, thanks for the heart attack ... Are you alright?"

Pepper looked at him a moment, in silence, then gently put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He gently placed a hand on her back.

"Pepper?"

She pulled back just a little, a hand in from of her face, looking like she tried to cover the fact that she was crying. Suddenly, it hit Tony hard. As if a building had fallen on him, crushing his bones, making his whole body and soul hurt like hell. He felt awfully bad. He thought he was going to faint, right there. His head was spinning and he clung to Pepper, eyes watery, heart beating fast... No. Please, this had to be a mistake... A huge mistake...

"T-Tony I'm ... I'm so, sooo sorry..."

 

 

He was falling apart.

 


	14. Chapter 14

_**Phase 1 :** _ **Denial**

Maybe Tony was crazy. It felt like someone had played with his mind, pressed 'random' and left him in that confused state. 

He was, quite frankly, spending most of his time walking around like some kind of zombie. Wasn't exactly thinking about the things he was doing, it was mostly just subconsciously. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it, like it was some kind of huge mistake. When he was making himself a sandwich, he half-expected Steve to enter the kitchen and empty the fridge. He sometimes looked at the door as if he couldn't believe the blond would never walk through it anymore. It felt weird and out of place. Steve wasn't dead because Steve was twenty-one, Steve was perfect and he loved him. It wasn't true. One day, he would open his eyes and Steve would be lying in the bed next to him, his warm body pressed against his, an arm around his waist, hugging him, keeping him close and safe. But that day wouldn't happen. Not during the first days, not later. It was getting harder to cling to the feeling that Steve could possibly still be alive; the truth was starting to hit him right in the face, to open his eyes on the fact that yeah, Steve was gone. Steve was gone and he would never come back.

It made him feel slightly better to refuse to see the truth. He kept reminding himself that he hadn't seen the body, hadn't heard of it on the news, and even though the boy was in fucking Russia, he would have known it if he really was dead. They would have told him. Fury would have rubbed it in his face, probably, because why not? The guy is an asshole. Until he had proofs, Tony would not believe it. They could say whatever they wanted to tear them apart, to keep them from seeing each other. It was just a trap, a stupid plan. It had to be.

Hiding from the facts was a way to protect himself. He didn't see it that way, didn't really think about it at all, but that's what it was. Facing the reality would be too much to bear, his body had just found a defense mechanism to help him get through the first wave of pain, to buffer the shock. For the first days, Tony only felt a dull ache that, although uncomfortable, wasn't exactly as strong as could have been expected. Until one day, he decided he would get to the bottom of it. He grabbed his keys, headed for school- he hadn't been there for the past two weeks, unable to stand the sight of the empty desk in the front row. He burst inside the hall, walked past the reception and without answering to a few students that recognised him, he went straight for the principal's office. He didn't bother to knock. He simply opened the door, acted as if he hadn't seen Fury's surprised glance and boomed:

"Where is he!? What have you done to him!? Tell me where he is!"

"What are you talk-"

"Don't you  **dare**  play this little game with me! What did you do to Steve?! You better not have hurt him... He's important. I don't care if you don't want me to see him, you have no right to decide for me, nor for Steve actually! Now tell me. Tell me right now."

"What do you want me to say, Stark? That's he's fine and well and that you'll be able to live your happily ever after? The boy was  _dying_. We did everything we could."

"Well you didn't do  _enough!"_   Tony snapped, slamming his hands on the desk. 

"There was nothing to be done!"

"So that's why you took him in Russia? To do  _nothing?"_

"Who told you ab-"

"Not your freaking business!"

"... We thought they could help him. Some Russian doctors. We had no other choice; giving it a try, or letting the boy die anyway in that hospital bed."

"What was it, cancer?"

"We don't know."

"You  _don't know?"_   Tony frowned, a mix of anger and disbelief. How can you not know what killed a boy who had been sick for weeks? 

"You heard me, Stark. I know it sounds crazy, but we are still unsure of what exactly killed Steve Rogers."

The word made Tony flinch. There was no point in denying it again; it would not bring Steve back. It still hurt to hear it. To admit it. For a long moment, they both remained silent. Then, Tony shook his head. He sighed and took a step back. 

"I didn't even get to say goodbye..." 

He bit his lip, gave Fury a last glance and left the room without looking back. 

 

 

_**Phase 2 :**  _ **Anger**

Tony threw the screwdriver across the room with a shout of rage. It hit the glass door of the workshop and Tony distinctly heard a cracking sound that made him think he had almost broken it. Actually, with all he had thrown at it recently, the door should be on the verge of shattering into pieces. Not that Tony minded anyway. That glass door was as stupid as that fucking suit part that wouldn't work correctly. He had tried everything, ran tests for Jarvis, he didn't seem to be able to make it work. It was just a basic repulsor, nothing that should cause so many problems... 

The fact that he wasn't able to concentrate much and that the pain was now sharper, re-emerging now that he had come to his senses and admitted that ... that it was over, was nothing to help him build the suit correctly. It was harder now. He didn't feel good at all. He wanted to punch everything or everyone that annoyed him and recently, that was pretty much ... the whole world. Including Heaven and Hell, if those actually existed, not that Tony believed much. Einstein wanted to go for a walk, Tony had to resist the urge to yell at him; that wouldn't do any good and the dog didn't deserve that, the rational part of himself knew that. But the emotional part acted up.

"Sir, I believe the part isn't well connected to your reactor, for everything responds normally but the repulsor doesn't get any power. I would sugge--"

"I know exactly what's wrong with this shit,  _thank you"_ Tony snapped, pulling at the wires connected to his reactor and looking for another way to plug it. 

Jarvis knew better than respond to that. 

There was a noise in the stairs that made Tony look up in time to see his dog coming, panting happily. It couldn't bring Tony to smile but it did lighten his mood, right until Einstein bumped into the glass door to the workshop as if expecting it to open for him as it usually did, finishing it off. Killing it completely, shattering it in tiny pieces that fell to the ground in a loud sound of broken glass. The dog barked in surprise, backing up from the mess he had made. Tony, his right arm still slipped into the arm of the suit, his left one connecting the last wire, rolled his eyes and gestured sharply towards the damage, crying "Why the hell is this door so fucking fragile?!". At this very instant, the reactor emitted a high-pitched noise and a beam shot out of it, hitting the first thing it met- an old, forgotten car Tony had once been working on before dropping the project -and blowing it to pieces, all of this with a few alarmed barks from Einstein. Instantly, Tony's eyes widened and he flexed his fingers in the gauntlet, mumbling:

"Think we got it Jarv..." 

"And, with all due respect, I now suggest you remove everything before the entire workshop gets destroyed, Sir."

"Yeah..." 

Still a little shaken, he pulled at the wires again, removed the robotic arm and stood up, running a hand through his messy hair. He wouldn't argue with that, enough damage had been done for today. Growling at Einstein for being so fucking loud- and the dog stopped right when he noticed he had upset his master -he stepped over the broken glass and climbed the stairs. Once he made it to the kitchen without breaking anything else or getting mad at some random object, he opened the cupboard to get a snack and his eyes fell on the Nutella jar. Steve's Nutella jar, actually, because that thing was awfully too sweet and, well, balanced breakfast my ass, right... Tony usually opted for peanut butter. Not that he ate toasts often, or even had breakfast at all.

"Christ, Steve..."

He grabbed the jar, closed the cupboard abruptly and directly went to the living room, where he curled himself on the sofa and let Einstein climb beside him, gently pulling the dog closer in order to have him half-sprawled on him. Yeah, just like that. Opening the jar, he all but threw the lid somewhere towards the coffee table and dig his fingers in the hazelnut chocolate spread. Yeah. It hurt like a bitch. That's what feelings do. That's what love does. Hurt like a motherfucker. It's sweet and powerful and amazing, right until it ends and leaves you uncomplete. Steve had left with a part of his heart. The huge part that belonged, and would always belong, to him. Now there was a hole there that nothing could fill, and Tony doubted it would ever heal. He was angry. Angry at the world and at everything. Angry at those doctors who didn't do enough to save his boyfriend. Angry at God, if there was one, for taking a boy so young and with a so promising future. Steve didn't deserve that at all, he deserved the world. If he asked for the moon, _they should give him the fucking Sun too! And the whole Milky Way if he wanted it!_ Fuck the world for being so shitty with him. It wasn't natural. He was twenty-one for God's sake... 

His fingers licked clean, he put them in the jar again. That shit was surprisingly good; damned Steve Rogers, he even had good taste, was there something bad about him?

Oh. Right. He had left him all alone. He was gone forever, giving his beautiful smile to other souls who would enjoy his company while Tony would linger on this stupid planet, coping with his misery. 

_Fuck you, Steve Rogers. I should have kept hating that pretty face of yours. Should have turned my back to those puppy dog eyes and flipped the bird at your bright smile._

He stopped himself right when he realised he had said that out loud. Instantly, he felt horrible for it. Eyes wide, mouth left opened in stupor, he couldn't quite believe he had said such a thing. Well, what an asshole he was. Steve was not to be blamed, he had no right to be mad at him... It wasn't his fault. He had been the best right until the end; had never stopped loving him and would probably never stop, no matter where he was now. Tony knew that. He felt guilty as hell now, which only made him angrier in fact. He wasn't even sure why. It was all just so confused, so, so confused and painful... 

 

 

_**Phase 3 :**  _ **Bargaining**

Tony needed to regain control. He was just so tired... He couldn't even find the strength to be mad anymore. Being angry was pointless and sucked all his energy. 

He felt helpless. Vulnerable. Guilty, also, because if it wasn't Steve's fault, then besides life that was being unfair, it could only be his fault. There were so many things he should have done... He remembered that one time Steve had been really sick. At the very beginning. 

The boy didn't look well, but wasn't complaining. Now that he thought about it, Tony realised the blond didn't complain much at all, he just should have known something was wrong this time. He barely touched his plate which, okay, now something had been wrong because Steve usually eats  _a lot. Did he say a lot?_ Later that night, they were just hanging out in the living room when, well ... Steve just threw up all over him. He didn't intend too, but Tony's first reaction was to stare blankly, shocked, watching it dripping all over his expensive shirt. Then to look up at Steve, who just turned bright red and spun to throw up on the carpet instead. As if it were any better. It actually took a few more seconds to Tony before he moved and, regardless of the mess on his clothes, ran a hand on Steve's back and whispered:

"Hey, you alright babe?"

No, not quite. They both ended up in the bath. Steve was feeling horrible and that's exactly why they were seated together in warm water, the closer they could to the toilet, just in case. It looked real bad, but nothing suspicious, just a virus everybody could catch. And that Tony would probably catch since the student had thrown up all over him and now cuddled him in the bath. Not that he minded, actually; he would have, he always did freak a little when Pepper only had a little cold, but now ... It would just seem awful to leave Steve to himself while he was sick. It had lasted long, more than it should have. Over a week actually, even though Steve stopped vomiting constantly after a few days. He still had trouble to keep anything down and ate chicken broth and rice for a while. They should have taken him to the doctor right then. Just to be sure that it wasn't a sign of something worse, something actually dangerous, something that could ... that could lead to more diseases and then to ... to ... 

_If only we had sought medical attention ... If only I had called a doctor sooner, then maybe he would have been able to cure that disease before it got too bad and you would be alive..._

He had been the worst boyfriend ever. The blond wasn't well and what had Tony done? Absolutely nothing. He had not even been helpful or anything, of course he stayed with him and spent his time taking care of Steve like he had never done with anyone before, but somehow he felt like he could have done a lot more. Sometimes, you don't realise exactly just how bad things are before they actually become worse and then there's no going back. Tony had not realised. Now he was full or regrets and guilt.  _  
_

_I'm so, so sorry Steve... I love you, 'kay? If there was anything I could do to bring you back, I'd do it. I could devote the rest of my life to helping others. I ... I'll be good. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist. It sounds great, doesn't it ? I could do that, try to protect this world and make it a better place... All you'll have to do is come back... Please, God, can I just wake up and realise this was all a bad dream?_

He just wanted life to return as it was before. Before Steve was sick, during that time when everything was great and amazing. They were in love and they were happy. He couldn't have asked for more... But now he was. He was asking for the impossible, was begging for life. For Steve's life. Please let him live. Please bring him back. If only he could go back in time...

'If only'. His life was now a maze of 'If only'. If only, if only, if only... He was lost it this, always wishing he could change something, always hoping to find a way to get things back like they used to be... Even though there wasn't any and Tony knew that...

 

_**Phase 4 :**  _  **Depression**

Tony's attention all moved into the present. The present where Steve's lost was awfully hard to bear. The empty feelings were everywhere, entering his life on a deeper level, deeper than he would have ever imagined. He ended up curled in bed most of the time, not wanting to get up for anything. He didn't feel like moving at all. It just hurt too much. In the darkness of his room, quietly, in private, he prepared himself to separate, to let Steve go, to bid him farewell. He loved him so much and the sadness was overwhelming in a way that made him want to curl in a ball and sob until death, but it was something he knew he had to go through. Everybody was helpful, really. Rhodey and Pepper had always been there for him when he needed them, and even when he didn't want to see them at all. He got mad at them hundreds of times and still they came every time they thought he might need the company. Pepper was sweet and gentle with him. Taking care of the business and of him both at the same time. As surprising as it was, she had told him to live his sadness to its fullest. That it would make him feel better and that to admit that he was hurt, that he was lost and desperate, was the first step towards recovery. Maybe she was right. Maybe it really was something he had to live in order to be better. Because he would be, one day, Pepper assured him. It felt like this day would never happen, but he had to give himself some time. Depression was a normal, appropriate response to such a loss and Tony had to take this step, one of the many steps along the way in the process of healing. 

Tony mostly wanted to stay alone in his room ... or maybe he didn't. Einstein always was with him, and he welcomed Pepper every time she came. She made him feel better, somehow. Tony could not explain how, or why, as sometimes the pain was so intense that he thought he would never get better. But he was, slowly, as she talked to him, reassured him, pet his hair and simply gave him her presence. Sometimes... All we really need is a hug...

 

_**Phase 5 :** _ **Acceptance** **  
**

Time would heal the wound. Tony came to understand that slowly letting go of Steve wasn't betrayal. He would never forget him of course, he would always have to live with the loss, but he didn't have to make it a burden... It was alright if he was feeling better, that's exactly what Steve would have wanted him to do. To keep on going and living his life as happily as he could. Not to linger in the past. As time passed, he started to feel less and less guilty about everything. He focused on looking forward and taking one step at the time, slowly but surely, never giving up. He was stronger than that. He had not overcome all of his previous issues only to be stopped by this devastating event. He would keep his head up and move forward, for Steve. For his handsome blond with aqua eyes. He wanted to come to a time where he would be able to think about Steve and feel happy. Remember the great moments he had spent with him and smile, smile because those were great memories. He would make it there, one day. He would. Or his name was not Tony Stark.

He was not ok, he was not alright with living without Steve. He was just accepting the reality that Steve was physically gone and this was permanent. He was slowly learning to live with it, having more good days than bad days, making new connections even though nobody would never replace the blond, ever. 

 

"He looks better."

"Better? He's been making suits and flying over New York City during the whole summer."

"That's exactly my point."

Pepper chuckled and nodded.

"Maybe you're right. He's been doing good actually."  _Better than she would have thought._

Coulson turned away from the glass wall of the mansion and took a few steps in the bright living room. Four months. Four months and Tony seemed to be better. He knew the man was strong, he just needed some help. That had been Steve. Phil had known from the start that this boy would be good for the genius... What had happened was truly horrible, but Stark was overcoming it. He was full of potential. 

"Thank you for coming. I know Tony's never been easy but..."

"It's my pleasure. Please keep an eye on him?"

"I sure will, as always" Pepper smiled and cast a last glance towards the glass wall, from where you could see New York city and what looked like a red and gold sparkle flying in the distance.

 

~~~~

The man gave him an indecipherable look. Tony only stared back, the hint of a smile on his lips.

"You want  _what?"_

"You heard me. I want my job. I like it."

He knew Fury was destabilized. The man was trying not to show it, but it still was clear as crystal.

"You want to teach at this school again, of your own free will?"

"Exactly."

Fury blinked once, twice, gaze at him for a while, then let out what sounded like a short laugh. 

"Well, Stark, you are one hell of a crazy motherfucker."

Tony only smiled back and nodded.

"I know."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes begin tomorrow (which kills me, really TT) so I'll probably be busy from now on ... I will try to keep updating this until I finish it, but there may be some delay and I apologise in advance for it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, so short! But I didn't want to leave you on too much of a bad note since I might have trouble updating this as regularly from now on. I'll still do my best, I promise :3 The next one should be longer O.O

"Barton, put that thing down for fuck's sake!"

Tony only got a smirk from the young man and rolled his eyes. Clint Barton was an asshole and yet Tony was stuck with him in his class. He often felt like strangling the guy with his tie because he was annoying as fuck, but still managed to be cool at the same time, and kind of badass -well why does that feel like déja vu? Yeah ... He liked Clint. Maybe there was just something wrong with Tony, something fucked up with his mind that made him love people he thought he hated. He couldn't explain these feelings. He was just probably judging them too severely at first sight. Be that as it may, he didn't  _really_  mind having him in his class, except for the fact that Clint liked throwing things. Litteraly. He used rubber bands to shoot whatever he could get his hands on; and he particularly liked to throw them at Tony. Ten points if he hit the body, fifty points for the head.  _And a hundred points for Tony if he smashed Barton in the face with a book, but that never happened. Being a teacher comes with its disadvantages._ _  
_

"What are you, twelve? Seriously, I thought I could expect more from young adults like you..."

"I'm twenty-three actually. We are never too old for that kind of thing, Mr. Stark, plus it's important not to lose your inner child. I don't want to end up like you, all wrinkled and grumpy -No offense!"

_A hundred points if Tony hits the face, right...?_

"Go back to work, Barton, or the old man won't hesitate to fail you."

That actually had its effect on Clint. The man should have graduated last year, but had failed a class and for whatever reason, Fury had put him in Tony's Stats class. At first, the genius had seen it like a constant reminder that Steve was gone. Seeing his friend on such a regular basis made him feel like shit, until he got used to it. Now, with the year being almost over, he could say that hadn't been a so bad thing. A little smile on his lips, he playfully elbowed Barton as he passed him, earning a grunt from the young man, before walking to the back of the class where a student was asking for his help. 

Who would have thought teaching would be so much fun? He certainly didn't expect to like it that much, that's for sure. 

 

~~~~~

_"How is he doing?"_

_"Vhis is goot rrresult, he is healzhy and strrronger zan evaar."_

_"Did he ask any question? Did he have any request?"_

_"Not ad all. Vhat dit you expect?"_

_"Nothing... Nothing. It's fine. Keep an eye on him. Let me know if he says something unusual."_

_~~~~~_

_  
_Tony looked up from the tests he was grading when someone knocked on the door. Instantly, he mumbled something about always being disturbed in this stupid school, then raised his voice and growled:

"Yeah?"

The classroom door opened and Barton peered inside. The usual smirk was long gone and was giving place to a serious face that surprised Tony all at once. When Clint looked dead serious, something was up or probably wrong. The annoyance instantly faded away and he lowered his pen, glaring at the student as if waiting for him to say something. Clint wasn't here just for fun, according to the face he pulled, especially not thirty minutes after his last class of the day. He should be home by now, even. After a few long seconds, Barton sighed:

"Look, I have nothing to do with this. I'm not responsible for anything. I'm just here to let you know that Fury wants to see you. Oh, and to take you there of course."

"There? Where? Barton, if you're messing with me, you're-"

"Just come with me."

Tony frowned and stood up, putting his papers away for tomorrow before grabbing his keys and a few important stuff and following the man outside. He didn't have the time to get to his car, Barton stopped him and, grabbing his arm, dragged him someplace else. They walked for a good ten minutes during which Tony never stopped complaining out loud about Fury being _'a shit ton of awful names'_ and never making things easy. As if walking for ten minutes was exhausting, really. But hey, he's Tony Stark. He had the right to complain. Finally, they made a stop in the middle of nowhere and the genius crossed his arms over his chest, brows furrowed.

"Now what?"

Barton glared at him then turned slightly away from him and moved a hand to his ear in order to say something Tony couldn't quite make out. A second later, a ladder seemed to fall out of nowhere and the student grabbed it, climbing a few steps. He then looked back at the teacher, waiting for him to follow. Which he did, after hesitating briefly, because yeah, climbing a ladder hanging in mid air towards the sky wasn't exactly a normal thing to do. The climbed for a moment, then Barton pulled something that Tony still couldn't see and a mysterious trapdoor opened.  _Okay. Mind = Blown._

"What the hell?"

"Just come on in."

Once inside, Tony was able to realise he was on some kind of huge aircraft. The interior design was pretty awesome, he had to admit it, with technological stuff everywhere and holographic screens, keyboards and scale models of things Tony had never seen in his life. Mostly weapons or some unknown military base or some shit like that. He took a look around then let out a little laugh.

"Optical camouflage. Well shit."

Barton finally smiled and nodded.

"Yep. It's pretty impressive. When I first saw this, I couldn't really believe it."

"Wait, so you've been here often?"

"Yeah, and so has Tasha... Uh. We are still in training though. It seems to never be enough for Fury, he wants us more and more powerful and effective, but I guess he's right... If we'll have to fight, we sure as hell might make sure we'll win."

Tony shot him a glance. Looked around himself another time. Barton could see the exact moment everything fell into pieces in the genius' mind. The man's eyes widened and he turned at him again.

"Fury is training agents to fight. What for? Who is he really?"

"The leader of S.H.I.E.L.D" a voice came from behind them, "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. These are our headquarters."

"... I might need a minute here" Tony rubbed at his temples, taking in the information. 

So many questions were running through his mind and his heart was beating a mile an hour. Why hiding it for so long and then revealing everything? What was Fury up to? He didn't quite understand everything and wanted to have answers. Just answers to make sense of the big mess Tony's life had become, with this school principal not really being who he pretends to be, his student training to fight something for some unknown reason and ... and all the mystery regarding Steve's death. He had to know. He desperately wanted to know. This was a lot to take in in a short lapse of time... Tony grit his teeth and finally looked up at Fury.

"You owe me answers. And they better be good."

Well, that didn't impress Fury much. 

"Later. For now, I still expect a little more from you."

"...What is it?"

"Mind joining the team?"

 

 

~~~~~

**_"Where is he? Why can't I see him!?"_ **

_"Please, please calm down. Please. I am really sorry, but you can't see him because he is long gone. We've sadly never heard of him again. It would now be time to move on."_

_"Says who? Fury? I am done being bossed around by that man. He's screwed things up enough. Now I want to go home and I want to see him. I'm not really sure what you're all up to, but I won't be a part of it. No way"_

_"It's been over a year now. You don't belong there anymore, your steps should have you move forward towards a brilliant future."_

_"What if I don't want any of that? What if I just want my life back? I've believed you and all those men, I've complied to many things but now... Now this is just too much."_

_"Listen to me, listen to me. Please. I know this is hard, but you'll get through it. I'm sure you can. You're stronger than this. You're an amazing man with a lot of potential and we all know you can accomplish great things."_

_Oh please, stop it with the obsequiousness!_

_"No, you listen to me. I'm a little lost here, but sure thing is I don't think I-"_

_"Don't be so hard on yourself. Even **he** said it. You can overcome everything. You've always faced things with bravery. Trust me he was right... You're very special, my friend... You're a **soldier**."_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little short one, there's more to follow soon. I just wanted to tell you guys that I should hopefully be able to post some more as soon as possible. I'm working on a bigger chapter right now :)
> 
> ... even though I'm kind of addicted to The Walking Dead right now and I NEED to keep watching it ... I mean, Daryl... He's kind of a sexy asshole, isn't he?

Fury was the leader of a team of agents that seemed to be there to protect people from whatever weird thing could happen. Being a school principal gave him the occasion to spot the young men and women with great potential and recruit some of them. Barton and Natasha. He was like a secret agent indeed, Tony had always known it. Except that maybe his purpose was right. To defend the city. Who can say that this is a shitty thing to do? Oh, of course Tony still had his doubts about the man and this whole thing in general. Fury hadn't said anything else about Steve, except that now Tony could kind of understand why he had secret contacts in Russia. Things made a little more sense, but there would always be details that annoyed Tony for some reason. He probably just didn't trust the guy, at least not completely. That didn't keep him from thinking about that offer of joining the team. With his suit, he was very effective indeed and the idea was tempting. Not for Fury and not for SHIELD, but for himself and for Steve. Steve who had always been nice to people and would have protected them for sure. Yeah, he could do this, because he knew that was what Steve would have done and he wanted to make him proud, wherever he was, watching him from above with a smile and nodding his head in approval. Tony ended up agreeing and joining the team. He completely refused any training because hey, they didn't know shit about his suit anyway and Jarvis was enough to give him a hand. However, he did spare with Natasha -got his ass kicked- and got to know her and Clint as teammates more than students or 'friends of Steve'. During the whole summer, nothing much happened, only training, training, training and oh surprise, a bizarre invasion of robots -a guy had been building them in his basement for twelve years and it seemed like he had lost it since he then sent them in the streets, uncontrolled and yeah, dangerous. They didn't do much damage, thankfully; they quickly fell apart under the repulsor beam, were pretty easily dismembered by Natasha's vicious attacks and had a huge weakness that Barton never missed with his arrows. In the end, Tony had to admit it had been fun. Kind of, not too much fun.

 

They kept going like that for a whole year. Tony never wanted to say it out loud, but he liked them. His team, his ... friends? Were they his friends? He was almost scared to call them that, but they sure got along as much as they fought over anything, which pleased the man in a strange kind of way. Maybe because somehow, it reminded him of family. Brothers. Not in blood but maybe in bond, in a way. They would always have each other's back, no matter what happened. Natasha was a creepy girl, still she could be sweet sometimes- and that was even more scary in fact. Barton was a funny asshole and Tony never missed a chance to call him Legolas or Robin Hood. 

Living without Steve was getting easier with time. Two years now. He was still thinking about him anyway, but not in a so pained way anymore. He had reached the point where he could feel glad for the time he had with the lovely blond, no matter how short it had been or felt. He often looked at the album Steve had made for him and smiled, smiled because it had been great, sweet and so much fun and ... Yeah. At least Steve had left on this happy note. He was thankful the boy had felt it at least once in his life; pure and strong love. 

 

One day, Fury came up to him  as he was working on his suit. Even though he preferred working in his own workshop, when he had no choice, he managed to do the repair on the Hellicarrier. The only real bad thing about this was that he could not escape Fury this way. Tony reluctantly looked up as the man stood beside him, clearing his throat. Bad news? Please no bad news. He knew Clint and Natasha were off somewhere in mission and shit could have happened... Fury suddenly frowned without saying a word and Tony had to fight back the words that were about to escape his lips. Instead, he looked away in silence and went back to his work, simply waiting for the man to speak when he would feel like it. He knew better than to piss Fury off, now. Oh, he still did, sometimes. He just ... chose his moments carefully. 

"I might have a mission for you," Fury finally said, brows still furrowed.

"Solo?"

"Duo, actually."

Tony waved the screwdriver he was holding in an absent gesture, eyes flicking up to glance at the man.

"Barton and 'Tasha are in mission."

Fury nodded, but didn't add anything. Mysterious old freak...

"Well...?" 

"It is a peculiar mission in the North that I want you to accomplish with an agent from the Russian base."

"... I presume I don't know him then. Great. Sounds amazing, too bad I'm quite busy here."

"Stark, trust me I didn't especially want to give you this mission, but sadly, you appear to be one of our most powerful and talented agent. You don't have to trust this agent, actually, it would probably be better if you didn't. Don't reveal your identity, don't take your suit off in front of him and everything will go just fine."

Tony rolled his eyes. If Fury was giving him this shitty 'You're-amazing-we-need-you' talk, he  _really_  must need him. For a long moment, he didn't bother to reply and stared down at his suit and his hands still working on it. Saying yes already would please the man too much. Nah. He waited long enough for Fury to start getting a little annoyed, then shrugged.

"Don't feel like it. BUT-" he added when Fury appeared to be on the verge of getting really angry, "It's fine, I'll do it anyway."

Fury didn't have to know that Tony was in fact pretty excited about the idea, right?

 

Turned out Fury didn't want him to wear his red and gold suit, for whatever reason. Something about drawing way too much attention, which okay, maybe it did was a little flashy, but he liked it. Still, Tony didn't get the choice and built a new suit especially for this occasion. It was a dark shade of blue and silver. On the chest, a silver star around the reactor. Tony couldn't say it didn't look cool, but he still preferred the original one. It seemed to please Fury, though. He wanted him and that other agent to look quite similar in colors and be pretty undercover. Basically, it wasn't an easy mission and he had to be on his guard at all times. Tony already knew he would not trust the other agent; anyway, it wasn't like him to give his trust to the first comer. He was ready, when they took him to Russia for the mission. Ready to fight, probably ready to hate that other guy, but oh well. He was a jerk to a lot of people anyway. He knew little about the mission, knew nothing about the man... That would be hella fun.

They soon came face to face. That man and him. A tall guy in a tight, dark blue and silver suit. He also had what appeared to be a shield, round and shiny, also blue and silver. Broad chest, blue eyes... Well. What a cute little soldier indeed. The type to follow orders, Tony bet. He would be a real pain in the ass... He still took a few steps towards the man and shook his hand.

"Captain..."

"Iron Man."

There was a little something in that guy's voice that did funny things to Tony's insides. Well shit. It sounded great, slightly deeper than he would have expected it to be. He frowned behind the mask, taking a step back. The other was wearing a mask too. He could only see half of his face and those piercing blue eyes that studied him. From what he could see, he looked quite young.

"That's a very American accent for a Russian guy."

"I am not Russian."

"You don't say! Captain Obvious..."

The man stared at him, clearly not impressed. The silence fell between them, slightly awkward. Soon enough, Fury cleared his throat and addressed them:

"You are expected to follow the wake of a few spies that stole something we absolutely need to get back. We spotted them in the North, or at least, signs of their passage. That thing in the wrong hands could do a lot more harm than you can even think of. Work together, beware of the cold and come back alive."

Come back alive. Well thanks.

That was it. Their only instructions. Then Fury was gone, they were left alone, about to leave for that stupid, shitty mission. 

"So. Where's the plane? The helicopter? The whatever flying thing that's supposed to take us there?"

The man intensely looked at him, brows furrowed. After a few seconds, he gestured towards Tony with a sigh.

"Right there, I guess."

Right there? Wait a minute, does that mean... his suit? What? He would have to fly there with two hundred pounds of soldier on his back, clinging to him for dear life, in Siberian cold? Tony shook his head and crossed his arms, annoyed. There was no way he was doing that. He wasn't even sure just how much power this would take to work and he didn't want to risk screwing up his suit right at the beginning of the mission. If he were to go there, he wanted to at least have a chance to make it back alive in New York after, where he would probably retire because really, he's getting too old for that kind of shit. Then he would go live in Malibu and take it easy for the rest of his miserable life. 

"Won't work. You're too fat."

He was acting childish, so what?

The man was still not impressed, nor was he amused. He walked to Tony and the man had to jerk away before the agent would actually grab him and force him into anything. He knew well enough that those muscles were not only there for decoration and that the guy had to have a firm grip; he didn't want to risk him manhandling him into cooperating. 

"Won't you be freezing up there? I mean I don't care much, I just don't wanna have to save your life because of hypothermia or stuff like that..."

"I won't. Not to that point, anyway."

"You better not. I don't want to hear you complain, we good?"

The man shot him a dirty look and Tony took that for a yes. It had to be one, because the man didn't protest one bit and simply waited for Tony to explain how they were gonna do this. Apparently, there was no actual way for him to carry someone other than holding them in his arms, an idea they both weren't really fond of. Since the Captain insisted that he could hold on tight enough, he managed to convince Tony to let him fly on his back, as long as he didn't obstruct Tony's movements. How they finally made it there, both alive and not already trying to kill each other, was a complete mystery. The only thing there was to say, was that somehow they managed to find some traces and start to follow them, to be done with this mission as soon as possible. Tony was sure they wouldn't get along soon; for some unknown reason, this guy pissed him off. He seemed strangely familiar in an unpleasant way, bringing up some painful memories the genius had made sure were buried deep inside. Maybe it was the blue eyes. Maybe it was the blond hair. Whatever it was.... It sucked.


	17. Chapter 17

It was cold. A Siberian, biting cold that left them no mercy. Even in his suit, Tony could barely keep his body temperature high enough. As if it wasn't enough, Jarvis kept reminding him of facts about the suit that Tony would rather not hear; not that he wasn't aware of that already. Yes, it would have trouble standing so much cold in the long-term. Yes, it took a great deal of power only to keep him alive in that metal can. He knew that. Knowing didn't change a fucking thing and didn't help them survive in that hostile environment. The genius didn't want to admit that it might be worse for the soldier. He was in a spandex suit, Tony doubted he felt nice and warm under that skin-tight shit. Sure, he had a dark fur jacket, but clearly, it shouldn't be enough. Not that the man was complaining, not about the cold, neither about his hunger. A real, brave soldier indeed. Tony was starving too. He didn't say a thing, not wanting to look like the whining and childish one. Still, it was getting hard to keep going in that snowy and rocky land. He wasn't even sure where they were going. They were following traces, trying to find something that was most likely lost forever in the wrong hands. Not that it was Tony's business if Fury couldn't protect his valuable stuff. 

They had been walking for two days straight. Tony bet even Fury didn't know just how harsh the conditions were over here. They could at least have provided them with a little bit of food, Tony wouldn't even have minded rationing, if only they had the tiniest piece of food... They didn't. They would have to find some sooner than later. What was for the moment an unpleasant rumbling in their empty stomaches would grow into a pain much more difficult to stand. They needed all the energy they could to keep fonctioning and right now, how they even managed to put a foot in front of the other, over and over again, walk and keep going, was a mystery to Tony. They hadn't slept since they had started this mission. Forty-five hours and thirty-eight minutes, not that he had counted, but Jarvis did. They would have to, soon. Sure, Tony had already spent a few days working in his workshop without sleeping or even eating, but he had been a total mess after a while. Plus at that time, he hadn't been struggling for his life, walking in the snow and unbearable cold. They clearly wouldn't be able to handle this for long. The thing was that they couldn't really afford to sleep right there, somewhere in the snow... and they didn't have much hope of finding a shelter. How the other agent felt, Tony had no idea. They avoided each other's gaze and barely spoke at all, if not for drawing the other's attention on a peculiar sign or clue that could lead them to the fucking spies they were running after. Still, the genius was so exhausted he didn't even feel just how awkward this was; he kept his energy -at least, what was left of it- for something more important than that.

 

It was only at nightfall that the soldier finally opened his mouth.

"I'm starving."

Tony snorted at that. He had waited all day for that guy to actually admit how hungry he was.

"Took your sweet time to bring it up!"

"Don't start, man, last thing we need is you being sassy."

"Shut up, tight-pants."

If Tony wanted to make sure the man would never risk bringing another issue up, he was doing well. Provoking the guy for no apparent reason would serve them no good, still he had trouble stopping himself. He hated the guy. For a few more minutes, they walked in silence. Good job Tony. Now if he wanted to talk about the food issue, he would have to bring it up himself, let that man win this round. Shit...

He came to a stop, stopping the other with a hand on his chest, keeping him from taking another step. It was pointless to keep going, it would soon be really dark outside, they wouldn't be able to see anything and it would be both dangerous and stupid. The most they could do was to build a makeshift shelter and get some really needed rest. 

"We stop for the night. We could use th--"

"Those rocks over there?"

"Don't interrupt me and don't finish my sentences, you jerk."

"Calm down, old man."

"Will you shut up or not?!"

The man pursed his lips, frowning and clearly biting back a bitter answer. That man had an impressive control of his temper, Tony could give him that. 

 

They settled with their back to some huge rocks that shielded them from the icy wind and from anything dangerous that could come from behind. That way, they didn't have to worry about something sneaking up on them. For a while, they only dig the snow, tried to make themselves a sort of hollow to lie down. They sat with their back to the natural rocky wall, letting out heavy sighs. 

"This whole thing is pointless" Tony finally murmured, "we'll never find what Fury wants us to recover. We will die way before that, from the cold or from something else, but we'll never make it. The old man's crazy."

"What do you suggest, going back to the base? After two days of tracking?"

"Two days and look at us, Cap."

The man didn't find anything to say to that. He just sat there in silence, blue eyes full of worry. Tony could barely see him in the dark, but kept staring at him, as if it would change anything. He knew the blond was swaddled in the warmest clothes he had found and only his eyes were visible with his face being almost fully covered so he wouldn't get cold. If Tony hadn't been in the suit, he would look just like that. Not that he felt exactly warm in the suit, but it was better than nothing. He just hoped they would find some kind of real shelter soon so he would be able to take it off and wrap himself in blankets or whatever. 

"Fury's been kind of a dick to me too," the blond then said, shaking his head, "I mean, he kind of kept me from doing things I desperately wanted to do. Said it was for my own good. Not sure I believe everything he says."

"You shouldn't believe a single word he says, darling. Not a fucking single one."

Once again, the Captain didn't reply, but Tony saw him faintly shaking his head, as though he kind of approved but didn't want to let him know. Then, without warning, he stood up and grabbed his shield. Tony hated himself for the spark of worry that shot through him.

"What are you doin'?"

"I'll try to find dinner. We can't go much longer without eating."

"You won't see shit in the dark..."

"I gotta try. I won't be long, if I can't find anything I'll come back here, alright?"

"What if you get yourself killed? What am I gonna do?" Did that sound fucking helpless? 'Cause it was not. Absolutely not. He would be fine on his own, yeah, he just... He just didn't want to have the guy's death on his hands.

"I won't." 

And with that, the man disappeared into the dark. Tony bit his lip under the helmet, shifting a little. Something in the voice of the agent had made him feel great, for a few seconds. Confident. When he had said he wouldn't get killed, Tony had believed him, as stupid as it might sound. He couldn't explain why and it made him feel awful. To distract himself from those thoughts, he stood up himself and decided that he would build a fire. They could use the light and the little warmth, and if the Captain came back with food, they would have to cook it. Or anyway,  _try to_. He started walking around, gathering some wood, the branches that were more likely to burn, and yeah, there weren't much out there. Hell, the trees had been kind of rare for a while, until they had reached this more wooded area. 

After a while, he managed to light a few branches and sat beside the small campfire, poking it with some piece of wood. Not that bad for a guy who was used to live in luxury and couldn't cook or even go camping for that matter. Well, maybe he had a secret scout talent, who knows, he just never tried anything stupid like that. Why hang out in the woods for fun when there wasn't even any toilet or bathtub or you know, internet, electricity, those kinds of essential things? ... Or maybe not essential, but certainly pleasant and useful. What could you do when all there was around were some trees, rocks and soil ? They were doing that right now, plus the snow, and see? They were starving and dying of cold. How amazing.

A voice suddenly startled him and he glanced up in shock in time to see blue eyes peering at him.

"No luck?"

"No luck."

The man sat beside him and now Tony could see him in the flickering light coming from the fire. The man was frowning, lips pursed in a tight line, clearly worried about their condition. The genius almost wanted to elbow him slightly, get him to stop looking so serious and concerned. He didn't like it. He didn't want to see it. If the Captain himself was scared, then how could they possibly have faith? Tony  was just some guy in a suit, trying to keep some other guys from doing mischief. He was not a soldier. He was not a hero. He was barely strong enough to keep himself together. With a sigh, he shook his head and tried to make himself comfortable for the night. The soldier was watching him lie down in the snow, clearly unsure.

"Shouldn't I stay awake and stand guard?"

"What do you want to keep watch for? Snow? More snow? Get some rest, we're the only stupid motherfuckers around. Nobody's crazy enough to hang out here."

Tony gave the man a look over his shoulder, smiling to himself when the soldier snorted and lay down too.

How the genius managed to sleep, he had no idea. He just woke up to find the tall guy poking at the cooling embers, staring into space. 

"You got any sleep at all?" he asked, voice a little husky.

The agent glanced at him and shrugged.

"I got enough."

_If you say so, kid..._

 

 

 

It was around noon when they finally found shelter. Around noon or maybe later, they couldn't be so sure since it wasn't even sunny outside, but it was a guess Tony made and they didn't argue much on that fact. He could've asked Jarvis, but he didn't. He barely asked Jarvis for anything at all since the '48% of power left had to be used wisely'. 

It looked like a small cabin and when they carefully pushed the door open and peeked inside, they found the place desert. The place was small but surprisingly not so bad. There was a small kitchen and a couch in the corner of what had to be a living room, half-empty bookshelves against the wall and a diner table along with chairs in the middle of the room. Poking around a little, the other agent suddenly turned to him, his hand close to the stove, blue eyes peering at Tony.

"Still quite hot."

"They've been here."

"Yeah, or an innocent lives here and we shouldn't stay."

Tony rolled his eyes and turned away, still looking around. That man was too sweet and it was annoying as hell. Maybe because in some ways that kindness brought up memories that hurt a little too much for Tony's liking. He'd rather hang out with some jerk from SHIELD and not feel bad about being an ass himself. 

"If someone used to live here, then they don't anymore. Drawers are empty. No clothes. No anything" he growled as he abruptly closed a drawer and went straight to the closets of the kitchen. He found the first one empty.

"... Then we're just behind them. Maybe if we hurry a little we can catch up on them and..." The soldier stopped himself when he saw the glare Tony was sending his way, then slowly added "Or we can just spend the night here and leave tomorrow morning..."

"That's more like it, tight-pants."

"Don't call me that."

"Yeah, shut up, I found canned peaches."

Unlike the first one, the other closets were almost full of canned food. Preserving jars full of fruits in thick syrups, jams and jellies, or vegetables. If most of them wouldn't have sounded appetizing to Tony a few days ago, they surely did now and he didn't wait any longer before opening one of the sealed jars. The other agent actually grabbed it from him before he could even get his fingers in the jar and winked at him as he shoved a slice of peach into his mouth. 

"You're gonna have to take that off if you wanna eat" he smiled around a mouthful.

Fuck. Yeah, right, the helmet.

Mumbling unintelligible things to himself, Tony grabbed another jar and walked straight to the single bedroom, closing the door behind him. There, he sat on the double bed and threw the head of his suit further on said bed, even taking the gauntlets off before he finally got to eat. That secret identity thing was a real pain in the ass. Who cared if he showed his face to that man. It's not like it would change anything... Would it? He was just sick of that shit already.

His fingers were already going numb by the time he finished eating. It was almost as cold inside as it was outside and even though Tony felt like the other agent was starting a fire in the wood stove because a nice feeling of warmth was starting to spread in the tiny cabin, he was freezing. Taking the suit off, he rummaged through his backpack until he found all the warm clothes he needed. Soon, he was covered from head to toes, his eyes being the only thing that could be seen from his face and, well, body actually. Whe he walked out of the bedroom, he instantly heard a stifled laugh.

"Well hello there, shorty."

If he actually flipped the bird at that freaking guy, it only earned him another laugh.

 

 

"Aren't you gonna say something?"

Tony didn't even bother to give the man a look.

"Come on, you can't be pissed at me for that..."

Still no answer. The other frowned and then climbed on the bed, effectively earning a dirty look this time. He looked almost satisfied, although he didn't make a move to climb off and even made himself comfortable as Tony stared. Then:

"Did you just  _kick me?!_ What are you, five years old? We're sharing the bed, end of story."

Tony rolled his eyes and kicked that stupid blond once more just to annoy him a little more, then turned to lie on his back and completely ignored the agent again. For a while, they kept silent, lying side by side with their shoulders barely touching, then the genius shifted a little and slipped a hand in his pants. It only took a few minutes before the other noticed the subtle movements, or maybe the way the older man's breath slowly got shallower.

"Are you serious?"

In response, Tony gently threw his head back and let out the most seductive groan he was capable of. Even muffled by the scarf he had wrapped around most of his face, it still sounded great enough to play with the Captain's little feelings. Glancing on his right, he caught the man's blue eyes staring at him in utter shock, the pupils slightly bigger than they should be, which Tony took as a good sign. 

"You've had your fun? You can stop now."

He was trying to resist. Of course he would. Tony's smile widened even though it couldn't be seen. Eyes riveted on the agent, he purposely kept going, moving a little faster, panting slightly as he could see the blue being swallowed by black, black and more black, pupils growing huge. 

"Stop it." He flinched when Tony deliberately growled again, low and rich and dark, looking as if he'd seen a ghost. " _Enough!"_

"What is it, Captain, you want some attention too?"

Tony could only watch as the man paled, blinked a few times, then licked his lips and moved forward towards him, his broad form overhanging him as he got closer and closer...

_Oh gawd._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, A NEW CHAPTER!  
> I'm not so happy with this one, but it's been a long time since I've had time to write anything at all and I feel like I have to get back into the swing of things... Hopefully next one will be better (and written within a month, HUH)  
> Again, sorry for the delay.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got time to write another quick one! There are two or three chapters left and I'll get to them as soon as possible :)  
> In the meantime, enjoy this little one :)

If he looked closely in the darkness of the room, he could see the brown eyes widen, watch as the long eyelashes fluttered when the man tried to regain composure. Waste of time. He had asked for it although he didn't seem ready for it, but the man was done being gentle with this stubborn asshole. There was something twisted in this situation that sent heat in his lower belly and made him feel as though the air around them was charged with electricity. It felt good in a way that shouldn't have. He wasn't even sure what had started this. Maybe the rich sounds escaping the man's lips when he quickened the pace of his movements, maybe the way suddenly it had felt right, like something clicking back in place, driving his heartbeat insane and frantic. 

He knew those sounds.

_"Who are you?"_

He could see the moment the man switched back in character, his vulnerability disappearing behind the mask.

"Your worst nightmare, sweetheart."

"What did you call me?"

His insistence seemed to confuse the Iron Man. Biting his lip, he let his hand rest against the man's stomach, over the clothes, but still there, warm and gently pressing. They locked eyes and maybe the man felt the urgency in the baby blue eyes, because he murmured:

" _Sweetheart."_

That was the most beautiful thing the blond had heard in a long time. Before the man could even realise what was happening, the agent pinned him to the bed and tried to reach under the multiple layers that covered them both from head to feet. It wasn't as cold inside as it was when they'd first arrived and, their bodies pressed together in a pile of blankets and clothes, it felt quite warm already. Finding the man's hand under the jogging pants, he pulled it away and held both wrists in one hand, ignoring the tiny whimper that escaped the genius' lips. 

"I-I ... Alright, big guy, y-you can--"

The man chocked on his own words when the blond bit down on the soft spot of his neck, almost drawing blood. He had seen insecurities like that before, had dealt with a man who couldn't stand being restricted too much, and they had worked through it. He wasn't about to stop now; he still had so much to verify, so much to discover. He pulled the man's pants down without warning, biting him again to keep him from protesting as he wrapped a large hand around him and teased. One long, deliberately slow pull, then the little twist of the wrist at the end that used to easily make his man come undone in a moaning mess. The effect was immediate:The man under him arched from the bed, his eyes rolling back, and the agent smiled at the beautiful and powerful moan ripped from the man's throat. Pure pleasure. He didn't tease him more; he simply chose a good pace and, just like that, jerked the guy off. Slowly but surely, the genius lost it completely, panting heavily in between growls of pleasure, his hips jerking from the bed of their own accord. A firm, yet gentle hand then held him pinned down and hell if that wasn't sexy... 

"Getting close, eh?" he teased, dark eyes shining as he peered at the man. 

Instinctively, the Captain knew exactly what to do. He had already touched a man, only one man, yeah, but hell did he know how to please him perfectly. He hadn't forgotten. Tongue flickering over his lips once again, he slid his fingers against the sensitive skin, to the tip where he smeared the precum with his thumb, his touch light and soft, almost too much to bear, if the way the man gasped and bucked again under his strong body was any sign. 

"H-H-Haaan, Cap,  _shit_ , C-Cap ... Just  _fuck me already!"_

He had won.

"But I don't have anything that looks closely or remotely like lube ... Sorry for not packing that with me, I hadn't figured you'd be begin me to fuck you by the end of the week..." the blond smiled, pressing a little kiss on the head of the man's cock, lips lingering there on the glistening hot skin. He was still looking at Tony through his eyelashes.

"I'm not begging..." the man all but mutter, his whole body shivering right after as if to contradict his words, "I don't know, just, use some jam... gosh..."

"Jam. Really."

"S'not funny! Fucking tease, how did I even let you ... N-Nhhaah,  _please..._ "

With a warm laugh, the soldier reached down to lick at the man's hip, jerking him faster as he kissed his way up the man's body, stopping when he couldn't reach higher because of the clothes still covering the man's upper chest. He reached for his neck instead, nibbling at the red spot he had bitten earlier, going for the special twist of his wrist once again and that was it. With a husky moan of pure delight, the genius almost violently arched from the bed and his body met the agent's one on top of his, hot and long ropes of come shooting between them. As the orgasm rushed through him, he grabbed a handful of blond hair and pressed more and more against the blond until they both could feel the hard, circle-shaped form between their chests. As the genius' eyes widened and he let himself fall back on the bed, the other could only stare, bemused, his expression clearly priceless. With tentative fingers, he reached for the man's shirt and pulled it up in a slow movement, almost scared to see what was hidden under, almost afraid the guy would suddenly knock him off. Nothing happened. Iron Man stayed perfectly still, watching with gorgeous brown eyes when suddenly a clear blue light filled the darkness of the room, creating pretty shadows on the agent's face. They stared at each other. Brown against blue. The soldier's eyes watered all of a sudden and a broad smile made its way to his lips.

"You gotta be kidding me..."

"Hey, oh, you don't get to comment! I was going to tell you! I mean, I wasn't, but hey, maybe if you had fucked me real good -and I tell you strawberry jam would have done a perfect job- I would have changed my mi--"

"Shut up, Tony..." 

The man indeed closed his mouth abruptly, his heart pounding in his chest. Then, his lips parted slightly with shock as he seemed to realise what was happening, a move so appealing the blond couldn't help himself. He reached down and without a word being said, their hungry lips met and everything became a comfortable burst of colors and lights and heat, so much warmth and gosh, did it feel good... 

It didn't keep them from hearing the blast.

_...Suddenly, the world went to black._

 

\-----------

 

"There you go, old man... Look at me."

Tony forced his eyes open, pain shooting through his whole body like a burning wave and making him groan. Slowly adjusting to the light, he blinked a few time until Barton's blurry face finally came into neat focus. The man was smirking at him, sitting right next to the bed he was lying on. When he glanced around, he noticed the room wasn't exactly charming and figured he might be at SHIELD. Yeah. They weren't too fond of him here. They wouldn't care to put him in a proper room, even if it had to be a medical one. 

"Hey..." 

His voice sounded hoarse and he tried to clear his throat, but it didn't help much. Straightening himself a little, he fully got aware of the constant ache in his body and the vivid pain that every move triggered. Great. How great.

"What happened...?" he murmured.

"Don't you remember?"

When Tony stared at him blankly, Clint sighed and added with a shrug:

"They found you first."

"I thought they had left the cabin when we got there. I don't recall leaving the place, I ..."

"They were waiting for you. It was a trap. Seems like things got pretty bad then, but SHIELD agents were already looking for you... They got there just in time."

"The other guy ... Is he alright?"

Barton nodded with a little smile and stood up. Wait. What, already?

"I gotta tell someone you're awake. You stay right here, m'kay?"

It was Tony's turn to nod, even though he had the unpleasant feeling that 'someone' was Fury, and last thing he wanted was for the man to burst into his room. He was still really,  _really_ pissed at him for this shitty mission. And now for this shit ton of pain. Running a hand through his hair, the genius thought about the last thing he remembered. That man and him, arguing again in the bedroom. Well. The guy was talking, he was sulking like a child, but shhht. Then... Then nothing. Nothing until right now. He was half-naked, his upper body almost completely bandaged from under the pectorals to the belly button. When he shifted to inspect the rest of his body, he realized why. His ribs hurt like hell. 

Alright Tony. Get yourself together. You're a real man, it's not a little pain that's going to stop you.

A little pain my ass.

Still, when Clint came back less than five minutes later, the genius was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at updating regularly. I suck at updating this story, period.  
> I'm still going to finish it, because I adore this story anyway :)
> 
> Unbeta'd, mistakes are all mine, sorry for that.

Tony couldn't move very fast with his ribs protesting so much and the sudden headache pounding in his temples. He must have hit his head, but he couldn't remember anything about it. Surely, it probably had been a good blast, judging by the way he really felt like shit and realized he shouldn't be standing, less walking right now. On the other hand, Tony Stark doesn't always do what's best and right now he didn't feel like waiting in his room for some dick of SHIELD to come for him. When he'd said he didn't trust Fury in this whole story, he was being serious, and now that it seemed to be over and he was back home, he had to know what all of that was for. He clearly wouldn't get the answers by asking Fury himself; the guy would rather pretend anything stupid than give him too much information. This lack of trust was mutual and they both seemed to be fine with it at some point. Maybe they liked the thrill, who knew. It still slightly amused the others when they both started fighting over any stupid detail. Right now, however, it wasn't simply a detail. There was a huge thing going on that Tony didn't know about and he didn't like it. This feeling had pushed him to his feet and now kept him going through the hallways despite the difficulty his body had to keep up. By the time he made it to the office they had granted him after he'd complained yet another time, he was exhausted. He'd just had to sneak past so many agents he'd thought he would get caught in less than two minutes. 

Resting against the door for a minute, one arm curled around his hurting ribs, he tilted his head back and let out a shaky breath that only caused more pain. 

"Welcome back, Sir."

"Missed you, Jarv..." he took another deep breath, wincing while doing so, "We'll have to work on the suit and do something for that cold issue. It reacted like shit to the low temperature."

"Indeed, Sir, you will have to work on the suit. It seems to have badly reacted to the explosion as well. I took the liberty to have the pieces sent to your workshop."

"The  _pieces?"_

Gosh, it had been hardcore. That explained the broken ribs and well, the fact that every bone in his body seemed to hurt right now. With a sigh, he slowly limped to the desk and sat on the edge of it, throwing his head back and forcing himself to breathe gently for a minute. He then straightened himself and looked at the holographic screen in front of him. He wasn't exactly sure how much time he had before Fury or any shield agent noticed what he was doing, nor did he know if they would think about coming here looking for him in the first place. They'd probably think that he wasn't stupid enough to stay in a place that close to them, or directly go to his office for that matter. It was always hard to tell; Tony was good at math. Physics. But with people and their so complicated emotions, he was shit. 

Without thinking about it any further, he started looking through Shield's files. He didn't exactly have the right to look at them, but then again, it was so easy to access their private stuff that Tony's finger had just slipped and _voila_. Their security system was total shit. Really, a five year old would be able to accidentally find classified information by pressing random buttons. Well, if that five year old had Tony's brain, maybe. Oh, right, it's not because you're able to access it that you absolutely have to look at it. Everybody could just run into a corner store with a weapon and ask for all the cash, but that didn't mean people did it just because they could. Technically speaking, that is. Thing is, Fury was an ass and that was enough of a reason in itself for Tony not to care about breaking some law or confidentiality or whatever it was he was doing right now. He kept scrolling down through boring stuff, often glancing towards the door as if he was afraid someone would burst in all of a sudden. Suddenly, while he was still looking for something about a secret weapon or highly classified project of some kind that would explain what they were doing in the North and why it was of such an importance, his eyes fell on some picture that sent a burst of heat, joy and pain all at once in the pit of his stomach and made him feel vaguely sick. His heart suddenly racing, he flicked his tongue against his chapped lips and gently tapped his forefinger on said picture after a brief hesitation. It was an instant shock.

 

_Agent ROGERS, STEVE_

_Status ACTIVE - ADVISER_

_Document Citizenship UNITED STATES_

_Place of birth BROOKLYN_

_Race CAUSASIAN_

_Height 6'2"_

_Weight 220_

_Hair BLOND_

_Eyes BLUE_

 

_ Family  
_

_Joseph Rogers, Father, DECEASED_

_Sarah Rogers, Mother, DECEASED_

_Grandmother, ALIVE, current adress 1404 ALAMEDA AVE, BROOKLYN, NY 11362_

 

_Steve Rogers was born on July 4 to poor Irish immigrant parents. He grew up a frail youth in Brooklyn, NY. Rogers' father died when he was a child and his mother died from pneumonia later, when he was in his late teens. Steve Rogers showed signs of many health difficulties at an early age. He was suffering many illnesses, including asthma, and his fragile state worsened quickly as he grew up. When he was still a child, he was then given a dose of an experimental serum, a prototype that showed amazing effects at curing Rogers' illnesses and granting him a greater strength and stamina. Rogers grew up to become a successful child, a strong sense of duty, honor, and humility instilled in him. He was in his early twenties when the sickness took over his body again, winning over the experimental S.S. serum that has been given to him. His health degraded quickly and he was taken to a base in Russia, where he was given a new dose of a more advanced form of the serum. As he was in a critical state, it was a last attempt at saving his life, which proved to be successful._

 

Tony stopped himself there, leaning back on the desk in order to take a few deep breaths and calm down. He didn't want to read more; didn't care for the rest of the story. He could already tell what had happened. Perfect Blondie had started to work for SHIELD and for Fury, that asshole who didn't say a word and pretended Steve was fucking  _dead._ Steve had shown no sign of life at all in all this painfully long time, he had let Tony believe he was dead, he had thrown away what Tony thought was a strong relationship they had there. He knew the end of the story; it all hurt so much more.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips and the little shuddering of his shoulders and body sent a wave of pain through him, reminding him of the very fact that he had been seriously injured in the shitty mission he had been doing with a...

... with a blond, annoying Russian agent. 

Fuck.

No. Please no. 

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_

It could have been relief. It could have been joy. It could have been sadness and love and forgiveness.

But all that Tony could feel at the moment was anger. Growling, burning anger that threatened to blow at any minute now. He hadn't even realised he was panting before he felt the pain in his chest, his broken ribs again, those bitches. He could barely believe what had happened and the implication of what he had just learned. Instantly, the idea of drowning his pain in alcohol seemed appealing, as well as leaving this place before anyone noticed he wasn't in his bed anymore and came looking for him. He didn't want to stay, didn't want to face anybody right now, especially not that damned blond guy. He had to go, he had to--

"Tony?"

That voice. It sent a shiver down his spine, both of love and hate, pleasure and pain, a twisted, sickening mix of good and bad aroused by a simple word. He didn't turn around, his body tensing when he heard the door closing behind the last person he wanted to see right now. His throat suddenly too dry, he licked his lips and rasped:

"Get out." 

"Tony, we--"

"Get. Out." 

He knew very well that he could not overpower Steve. He knew better than to try and punch him, but that didn't mean he was defenseless. Not that he had to defend himself against Steve, he never had to and would never have to, and deep inside Tony knew there wasn't any threat, even though the man was slowly walking towards him. No, the urge to throw something at Steve's face, anything really, was only fueled by anger and desire of revenge. That stubborn kid was not even listening to him, he could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer, making his head spin- or maybe that was just the fact that he shouldn't be standing right now with all his injuries. His hands tightened their hold on the back of the chair in front of him and he clenched his teeth. Steve was giving him no choice...

"Don't try to throw that chair at me, Tony. You'll injure yourself." 

"The whole point was to injure  _you_ , really."

"You won't even be able to lift it."

And Tony hated him for being right, hated his body for being so weak at such a crucial moment. He reluctantly let go of the chair and took a few steps away from Steve, barely feeling the brush of warm fingers against his upper arm- that was a close one. He wasn't sure he could keep acting like a douche if Steve was touching him, and right now, the last thing he wanted was to go all soft and putty for that man because of a few touches and apologies. It wasn't going to end that way. 

"I have nothing to say to you."

"But I do, Tony. I do."

"I don't want to hear anything from you either. I don't want you to try to explain me why. I don't want your apologies, I don't want your reasons. Take your memories, take your freedom and don't ever talk to me anymore."

There, the fingers again, burning on his skin. Tony almost yelped as he shrugged out of the touch, spinning around to give Steve the dirtiest of looks. 

"What is it, Steve?"

He was getting angrier, angry that Steve didn't react, that Steve didn't say anything or didn't leave or didn't scream. He wanted Steve to feel the pain, to be scared, scared that things would never become easier between them and Tony would never forgive him. He wanted him to stop looking like the sad, kicked puppy and grow a damn pair so he could yell back, yell and make Tony feel alive. He wanted to punch him, wanted him to punch back. He wanted... He wanted...

"What's wrong with you!? Do you want me to yell at you? 'That what it'll take for you to understand? I thought you were dead,  _Captain!_ Two years. Two fucking years and you didn't dare give me a sign! I mourned you, I would have given my soul if that could bring you back to me ... I was just left alone to cry, my dreams were all just dying like that in an instant because I was losing you a-and ... You were everything I had ... When Pepper came and told me that you ... I ... I felt like I couldn't breathe. You can't even imagine how much it hurt. You have no idea what you did to me, Steve. I was bleeding. I couldn't figure out why the possibly best guy on earth had to go so soon. Too soon."

"Tony..."

"And you still owe me a fucking good reason! I think I'd like to see you struggle to explain why you abruptly left me alone, freezing and broken. Why you pretended to be dead, while you were in fact saving the world over there in Russia. Why you worked with FURY- he's like, the biggest ass ever. Not cool Steve, not cool. But more than everything, I'd like to know why you couldn't be a fucking man about it and tell me right in the face that you wanted this- us -to be over. Why did you have to be so chicken about it?! I thought you were better than that, Steve, and pretending to be death is the worst fucking way to dump someone. I-I couldn't imagine myself living without you, I... I was thinking about... making it official, you know. Making you mine. I was a disgusting romantic mess when it came to you and that was fine with me, that was fine because I loved you ... " _  
_

He blinked back the tears that were threatening to escape and, without even looking at the blond anymore, he made it for the door. This time, Steve didn't follow him. He simply turned and watched him go, not trying to explain himself or stop Tony from leaving. His sad calm was more than Tony could bear. His hand was on the doorknob when Steve suddenly said his name. Tony froze despite himself, hating the way he waited for Steve to add something, anything.

The blond cleared his throat. Tony could feel him staring, even with his back turned to him.

"... I would've said yes."

 

Tony stormed out of the room and slammed the door.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few little references to Supernatural in there... However, there are definitely no spoilers.  
> Well, except if you count Dean's OPT as a kind of maybe spoiler-ish. I don't know x) Whatever.
> 
> This chapter is longer! I really hope you like it. We're getting near the end of the story by now... Ah! I can't believe I started this over a year ago... :)

Tony woke up with the biggest headache ever, and the feeling that every bone in his body was about to snap in two. Or maybe three. Hellooo injured body, that's why painkillers are the best thing in the world after sex and coffee. Speaking about coffee, he desperately needed one right now. 

Getting out of bed was easier said than done, especially in his current state. Yet, stubborn as he was, there was no way he was going back to Shield for medical attention. He would take it slow, or at least, as slow as he could, for the time it would take for his ribs to stop hurting when he walked, stood up, sat down, breathed... Stop hurting from him being alive, period. Once Tony finally made it to the kitchen, he noticed the cup of offee on the counter. It wasn't unusual that Jarvis made coffee for him, but he wasn't able to do more than start the machine; he certainly wasn't able to pour a cup. 

"Pepper came by and you didn't wake me up?"

There was no answer, but Tony didn't really need one. He was still surprised that nobody had come for him; he had half-expected some Shield agents bursting in and bringing him back there by force, but nothing had happened. Probably Steve's doing, and despite everything, Tony could be glad for it. The blond knew him too well and maybe keeping everybody out of this and letting Tony go back to his place without being disturbed was his own way of making amend. He still wasn't forgiving him.

 

It wasn't Pepper.

Even after two years, Tony still remembered the little drawings in coffee cream. 

Steve.

 

 

"Sir! Sir, I highly suggest you get some rest and work on it later."

"Says the one who lets anybody into this house without my permission! Scared of losing your little willpower, Jarvis? 'Cause I'm so making some changes in your stupid program, smartass."

"You will regret it later, Sir."

"You wish!"

"I know it."

"No you don't. You can't  _know_  about how I feel because you're not  _alive_."

"Being alive doesn't appear to me as such an important characteristic in the processus of knowing what feelings are. You are yourself very alive, Sir, and I doubt you know much about your own feelings. With all due respect."

"I know exactly about my own feelings! Right now, I'm really pissed at you. See? I'm pissed because you let Steve in and he probably watched me sleeping like the little creep he his- and that's definitely _not_ hot, but it would mean I'm still pretty good-looking even if I'm getting old, which, okay, that's not a bad thing..."

He lost himself into some babbling that made no sense and grabbed the cup of luckily still warm coffee. A few swallows later, he sighed and shook his head.

"Fine. I'm not reprogramming you. But you really gotta stop! I hate arguing with you!"

"It's hardly arguing, I simply state evident facts."

"Evident facts my ass."

Gosh, he loved Jarvis.

He gulped down the rest of the coffee and poured himself another cup. Sadly, no tall blond to draw hearts or flowers or sunshines on it with cream... Sighing, he grabbed the laptop he was currently working on, rummaging through Jarvis' code. Turning it off, he left it on the nearest coffee table he saw on his way to the living room, where he was about to slump on the sofa before thinking about his poor hurting body. He ended up sitting awkwardly straight and stiff, cup in one hand, remote control in the other. He could have asked for Jarvis to turn the TV on, but for some reason the remote was right there, just within reach, and he had grabbed it without thinking. He needed to watch some action movie, something with a lot of explosions and cheap special effects, unrealistic blood and barely a few dialogues to pretend that there was any plot in there. Anything to forget that Steve had walked the front door this morning and done who knows what in his house while he was sleeping. Not to forget that, oh surprise, he wasn't dead like he was supposed to be and Tony had clearly told him they were done and he didn't want to hear of him anymore. Stubborn man. 

Turning the TV on, he almost jumped when what came on wasn't the weather channel or the news, but Steve's face. Steve's younger face, same big blue eyes, dark circles underneath. He looked tired but happy, if now slightly awkward while he gave the camera a look Tony swore was both seductive and shy. 

_"This is ... This is really new for me. That whole filming myself thing. Oh, don't laugh, I can't even... Ugh. Hold on."_

And Tony, whose first idea had been to turn the TV off right now, did hold on. What was that, exactly? Steve and his little tricks, always had to do something unusual to prove his point, right?

 _"Alright. That angle is probably better" Steve on the screen added, then he gave a more confident smile, "So, uh. Day one without you. Well, it's the first day that I'm aware of... I think I've been out for 48 hours. They said my heart stopped beating for a short while, but I'm okay now. I don't mean okay as in 'I took my medicine and I should survive for a few hours', but okay as in 'I_ _shouldn't be sick ever again'. Here, that's one thing I didn't tell you; I kind of partook in an experiment when I was younger. It was supposed to eradicate my sickness, and it did, for a while. They just gave me another dose. Improved version. I think they said I won't have any problems now, the sickness should never come back- I think, I didn't understand everything ... Russian accent, you know. Plus, my head was a little foggy this morning. I'm feeling better now, except that I miss you. They said I can't see you now, or go back to America because they don't want me to fly. Want to keep me for two weeks, just to be sure I don't collapse or, uh, die or anything."_

_Steve shifted and ran a hand through his hair. He was obviously awkward, talking to a camera like that. He seemed to be sitting at a desk. A single bed could be seen at the back, even though the light wasn't exactly great. Well, it was on Steve's face and that was the most important, anyway. Suddenly reaching for something on the floor, Steve motioned to show to the camera the shield Tony had given him, all smooth and silver._

_"Good news is, I got to keep that! When I woke up, I was so scared they had thrown it away I kept asking about it until they brought it to me. They probably thought I was a freak... Oh well. So, uh, yeah ... Looks like I'll be counting the days before I can travel back to you. Fury said he'd contact you and let you know I was doing good- I asked to talk to you myself, but you're right, he's a total douche. Said there was no way I was spending the two weeks on video chat with you. Said he didn't want us to... to uuh ..." Steve suddenly turned a bright shade of red "... have ..._ phone sex.  _Or spend hours being disgustingly in love, because then we'd get all cheesy and he'd feel like throwing up. I really hope he'll change his mind; I'll keep asking. See if he gets tired and obliges."_ _  
_

_Steve yawned and rubbed a hand over his face. The poor kid looked exhausted, but he somehow leaned on his elbows and kept talking without collapsing._

_"I'm sorry for the last weeks... I know it hasn't been easy and we didn't get to spend a lot of quality time together, but... I'll make it up to you. We can go to one of those expensive parties of yours, if you like, and I promise I'll try not to sit awkwardly in a corner trying not to attract attention! Then maybe you can take me out for dinner, it seems like I've just eaten soup for the past weeks. Maybe something fancier than a burger... You know I'm getting used to wearing a suit when we go out, but that's mostly because of the food. Yeah. I just do it for the good, expensive food. And because I know that you will rip the suit off me the second we're back to your place and we--"_

_He suddenly stopped himself, eyes going wide in shock when he realised what he was saying. He then coughed, shook his head and finished with a timid laugh:_

_"Let's pretend that I didn't say that. You didn't hear anything. Gosh, I hope I can cut that part out of the video ... Ugh. I'm getting tired, I think I will go to bed before I start telling you all my secrets... Heheh. See ya, Tony. Love you so much."_

 

It took Tony a few minutes to get over the initial shock. He has paused the video in order to take a moment to breathe. Shaking, he was shaking, he realised when he took a look at his hands, and he clenched them on his knees to keep the shuddering under control. It had been a long time since he had heard Steve's voice saying that kind of words so easily. I love you. Saaying them, and meaning them. Looking at this, Tony had no doubt about the way the blond felt about him, two years ago; head over heels in love. Just like Tony was himself. Something was clearly wrong in this video, however. If Fury had promised Steve he would call, he had not kept his word. If what Steve was saying was true- and he believed it was -then Fury had something to do with him not seeing his lover again. Maybe. Or at least at the beginning. Two weeks. Two weeks then what? Steve had found someone else? Decided that he didn't really want to be with Tony anymore? UGH. He didn't understand and it was killing him. On the other hand, it was oddly comforting to watch this and let the good memories wash over him... He pressed 'Play' again.

 

 

_"Day two. I had pancakes this morning and I could finally keep them down. And smell them without feeling sick, too, which means I'll make you some when I get back. How's that sound?  I know, I know, not before coffee, everything's better with coffee, you can't live without coffee."_

_Steve chuckled to himself and stretched. His blue-gray t-shirt lifted up just a little, revealing a slight strip of golden skin just above the waistband of his sweatpants. His hand reached down to rub absentmindedly at his lower belly while the other arm was still stretched over his head, then he let both arms fall back and smiled at the camera._

_"I kinda sucks that I have to miss class so much. I was really hoping I could get my degree, but as it's going, I probably won't. Even if I'm back in time for the final exams, I can't just catch up two weeks of class in the blink of an eye. I know, maybe I could ask for a chance, since I had a pretty ... special medical condition, and Fury's well placed to know it ! Yeah. Maybe he'll let me. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I've told you off on things, just to discover that you were right in fact. I mean, Fury is a real jerk. I'm sorry if I ever told you otherwise, now I believe you._

_That chuckle again, and gosh, Steve was so adorable._

_"I didn't do much, today. Mostly took a walk around the place and saw hundreds of professional guys who didn't care about me and barely gave me a look, less a nod... Super great. If every single day is as boring as today, I won't make it alive! If only you were here... You'd blow the place up or something, probably find some pranks to play on these guys and Fury would get mad, they'd yell at us but it'd be fun ... Yeah ... I'd be fun... Alright. I'll just go to bed, today was a shitty day and hopefully I'll have something better to say tomorrow. See you soon, love ya."_

 

 

_"Hello there, Steve Rogers talking, welcome to the freaking boring story of my life without you! Ah. Day four it is, and apparently I should be ashamed because I have skipped a day. I'm pretty sure it won't bother you that much since you can't even see these videos right now anyway. I wonder if I could send them to you ... Ugh. Fury wouldn't let me, I bet. Then, he'd watch them and realise I said a ton of shit about him and.. Yeah. Bad idea. So, anyway. I'm still sorry I couldn't do one yesterday, but they kept me so busy I could barely stand up by the end of the day. They made me run for hours, spare with some guys and do all kinds of physical stuff because apparently, they wanted to see how my body was adjusting to the serum. Pretty well, it seems. I can fight. I accidentally knocked out a guy and I felt bad for it; I'm sure you would have laughed. You always laugh at those videos where people fall or do stupid things that doesn't end up well..."_

_Steve reached for something on the desk, his hand suddenly out of the camera angle, then he pulled it back holding a strawberry by the stem. He took a bite of the fruit, then one more until the stem was all that was left. Putting that away, he then licked his fingers clean and a smile formed on his lips, probably at the thought of it being seductive._

_"That'd be good with whipped cream..." he simply murmured, voice dropping low and hot._

Tony couldn't help but shiver at that. Damn, Steve was perfect, and even on camera, he managed to make these kind of things that sent heat in his belly and drove him near crazy. That little prick... 

_"Too bad I can't have that now. That's another thing we'll have to do when I get back ..."_

_His voice went back to normal after he blinked innocently and flicked his tongue against his lips._

_"That is, the training of yesterday drained all the energy from me. They said I should have a better stamina in a while, but now I'm still adjusting. Whatever. I don't need to be a superhero, you know, I just want to live and ... I just want my life back. The one where I go to class, my stupid smartass teacher annoys the hell out of me, I end up at his place after school, he distracts me while I'm trying to do my homework and we have a quick fun before dinner- probably pizza or chinese takeout - then a ... longer fun after. Then we watch a movie. You know. Typical day. I miss those times already. I can't wait to be back."_

_For a while, he was silent, only eating his strawberries and making faces at the camera. Mostly, he was having fun, feeling better just by talking and acting stupid in front of the camera because he knew this was meant for Tony to watch. This meant love. He was relaxed on the screen now, clearly at ease with filming himself now that he had done it two times already. He even flashed Tony his belly once or twice, laughing to himself like the young man he was._

It was relieving in some way to see Steve act like this. Tony had been so scared that all of this, their love story and the sudden sickness, made Steve grow up way too quickly. Sure, he knew how to take care of himself and even took care of Tony more than often, but ... But he was just a kid. At that time, he was just a kid. Now, two years older, Steve was even more mature, but he still was a young man that had his life ahead of him. Seeing that Steve could still have some fun with simple things, even when they still were together, made Tony feel great. Yeah. 

_"I asked for a few things today. Since I'm really bored, they agreed to give me some stuff to play around with. I should have them tomorrow. A bunch of pencils and paper, some art stuff you know, probably paint and canvas too. I wasn't sure they would make the effort to find it, but they said they would. Maybe they realised they're torturing me by keeping me away from you?" He winked and a smile played on his lips. "I'll draw something nice for you. Maybe I'll turn the camera on to let you watch a little bit, I know you love it. Sometimes, when you think I haven't noticed you, you can sit there for an hour in complete silence and watch me. I always know you're there. I can feel it, your eyes on me; makes me feel great. Warm, inside. Amuses me, too, because I never see you as silent as that and it's probably a miracle that you can manage an hour without disturbing me at all..."_

Tony rolled his eyes with a chuckle. Steve knew him too well...

_"Alright, I'll be going to bed now. I feel like I could stay right here for hours, just talking and doing whatever I wanna do just so you can have a glimpse of what these two weeks without you are, but ... I'll be so tired by the end that we won't be able to do anything. And by 'do anything' I mean talk, have dinner, hang out, watch a movie. No, Tony, I didn't mean sex. Well. I didn't mean just that. Sex among other things. Uh. Whatever. I'm rambling. I'll go now. Love you, Tony."_

 

 

 

_"Day eight. Gosh, I suck at doing this. I have no excuse for not filming for the past three days. I really don't. I felt lazy and allowed myself to lie in bed for hours, didn't think about turning the camera on. I mean, it would have been pointless anyway, because I would've stayed there until I fell asleep and that would be one hell of a boring video. I'm still sorry for that, but I plan on making it up to you. I finally got my art stuff last night- yeah, it took them a while, but they still made it and I couldn't bring myself to be angry because they were so late. So yeah, since I don't do much of my days and I don't have anything to say that might interest you, unless you want a detailed description of the scrambled eggs I had this morning ... I figured I'd just paint while you can, uh, watch. I had an idea and I hope you'll like it. The shield, you gave me, it's great. It's great but I think I'd love it even more if I could put some color on it. I like some kind of light blue-grey. Blue-grey, then a strip of silver, then blue-grey again and then the center a darker blue, with the star silver again. Sounds great, doesn't it?"_

_Steve was already about to get started; seems like he had carefully planned this. While he was rambling about the type of paint he had to use so it would fit the metal and stay in place and blablabla, he skillfully started his work. The shield clean and smooth without any visible dirt on it, Steve sprayed a primer over the whole shield. He knew how to process and was beautiful to watch as he moved with the precision of an artist, eyes bright and the tip of his tongue stuck out and caught between his teeth in concentration._

He was right. Tony loved to watch him work.

By the time the blond on the screen was done applying a second layer of primer, then started the real painting job, careful not to go ever the edges and mix the colors, add some blue on the grey or anything, it was almost dinner time. The last video was really long but Tony didn't mind at all. He had been at it for a few hours now but he didn't feel like stopping ... He needed this. Needed to watch Steve and feel loved again, even for a so short time. He was meticulous, he was beautiful, he was perfect. He was Steve. And gosh, Tony missed him.

He ordered some pizza and sat back on the sofa for another marathon of the rest of the videos. Gosh, he was crazy.

 

 

 

_The ninth day video started with Steve involuntarily bumping his little toe on the desk and cursing under his breath. He mumbled something about editing that part of the video, which obviously he hadn't done afterwards. Grabbing said toe and sitting back on his bed, he groaned a little more, then managed to wave at the camera, grumbling a "Hey there". It took a good minute before he finally let go of his foot and straightened himself._

_"Alright. Day nine, and what a way to start this vid! I hope you're doing good, 'cause I am ... Mostly. I mean, it's been more than a week now and I miss you like crazy. It made me realise I spent most of my time with you before coming here and we barely spent a few days apart from time to time... Like, two or three, max. No wonder why now I can barely stand nine days without you! On the other hand, nine days mean that there's less than a week left before I get to see you again. On this day, I swear, I'm not leaving your side at all. You'll have enough of me by the end of the day, but I won't let go and you'll oblige because you love me and I'm adorable. I'll do the puppy eyes trick, I know you hate that like crazy- well, not really, you just hate the fact that you can't resist them. Uh ... You know, I've been doing some thinking. Don't get scared already, I don't plan on having four children, three dogs, a rabbit and a bird. It's not much, really, and I think you would like it too. So, I was thinking ... we should buy a puppy. A cute little doggie. I've always wanted one and I figured you were used to dogs by now, what with coming with me to the shelter. I've already told you, and I'll say it again, Einstein and you, it was love at first sight. You can't deny it Tony."_

The genius cast a glance at the dog lying at his feet in front of the sofa. Einstein craved for his company and would have this tendency to follow him in the house and stay in the same room as if he couldn't handle have Tony out of sight. It was cute and, let's face it, Tony loved to rub the dog's belly with his toes; it felt funny and soft and warm. 

"Yeah ... Love at first sight, hey, buddy?"

Einstein lifted his head a little, looked at him sleepily, then obviously went back to sleep with a soft sigh.

"Jerk" Tony mumbled with a smile at the lack of affection sent his way by the huge dog. He knew better.

 _"I know you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a puppy"_ Steve continued in background, making Tony look back at the TV, _"but I would really love a puppy. I would take care of it and take it for walks, take it with me in the morning for jogging so he would have enough exercise, and I promise he won't pee on your carpet or bark at like three in the morning... He won't be trouble! I promise! Or if a puppy is too much, well, we could just adopt an older one so he's less excited and has already learned to go outside and to not do his stuff in the house... I don't know, whatever pleases you, but I'd really like a dog. Please, Tony? Just think about it at least. For me?"_

_He gave the camera his best smile, blue eyes wide and shining, then ran a hand through his perfect blond hair._

_"Gotta go now. I'll see you soon. Love you."_

 

 

 

_Abs. Slightly wet, golden, perfect abs. Right in the camera, not leaving much to the imagination. Said camera moved a little, showing the hint of a white towel wrapped around Steve's waist. Then, with some unintelligible mumbling in the background, Steve managed to place the camera the way he wanted it, his face finally showing as well as his naked chest. A slight blush was creeping up his face and down his neck and upper chest and he laughed._

_"This is ridiculous. Day ten and I haven't stopped feeling awkward while filming myself. I always feel like I look stupid, do I look stupid? Uh. Anyway. You can probably notice I just showered, and right now, it's almost midnight. I shouldn't be filming this and I apologize if I fall asleep right in the middle. Thing is I really wanted to do it, since I've skipped so many days so far... Right. I just took a shower and my bed will probably be wet by the time I'm done here. I was hoping for a close-up on the water drops running down my abs because it always seems to get you so ... uh. Y'know what I mean. Hot. And horny. And you lick it before it can reach the waistband and... Okay, I'm definitely not going there right now. The problem here is I can barely make this camera thing work and you've probably seen that I had trouble getting my face in the frame, which is totally lame and yeah I know I should be able to use these things, you've already told me so but ... I'm lying on my bed. The angle is super awkward. Totally not my fault here. Uh... Okay hold on. I'll try something."_

_And there he was, fumbling with the camera, trying to angle it so his abdominals would fit in. He managed quickly enough, catching a water droplet that was rolling down his skin. He chuckled right after, then started laughing for real, dropping the camera as he tried to talk through his laughter:_

_"T-This is probably the most awkward thing I've ever done..." and he was blushing, gosh, he was blushing and it was adorable._

_When he managed to regain control of himself and lift the camera, he focused on his face again. He was grinning like a fool, obviously trying to comb his messy wet hair with his fingers, which proved to be useless and he stayed like that, his hair a cute mess._

_"I'm not doing that again, I hope you enjoyed the little show. So, what was I talking about except the fact that you licking my abs is hawt? Oh, yeah, right! The whole point of this video was to tell you that the shield is dry and it looks stunning. I'd let you catch a look but, uh ... Oh, do I really have to move again? I can't even ... ugh ..."_

_There was more fumbling with the camera as Steve straightened himself and angled it so he could show Tony the shield that was resting against the wall. It really looked pretty, with the colors added to it. At least, Steve seemed to like it a lot, for he was talking about it again, and again, as if it was the best thing in the whole world. It probably was for the moment, since it was all he had from Tony. Bringing the camera back to his face for yet another time, he settled calmly on his bed and seemed to find his chest to be a good support for said camera, which let him the opportunity to cross his arms behind his head and just relax, still filming._

_"I went to the gym today. Spent a few hours there, I was so glad to be back on my feet and realise I hadn't lost too much while I was sick and stuck in bed. You really should start hitting the gym, Tony. It starts as an habit, you have to force yourself into that routine until it becomes more than that, until it becomes a fun part of your life. At first, I was a super scrawny kid and I thought the gym wasn't for me. Look at me now. These muscles didn't just appear there and I surely didn't get them in a box of cereals. When I come back, I'll train you. You'll like it. It'll make you stop being nerd for a sec and actually move that body of yours- sex doesn't count, Tony. You could use it. I'm not saying you're not in shape right now, but it's easier to start now than to start once you're old and fat and don't feel like doing it anymore." And the little bitch winked at him with a smirk, actually amused by the fact he was calling Tony fat. "Nevermind, I don't think I really wanna see your reactor stuck between huge pectoral muscles, that'd be the woooorst!"_

_He was laughing again, clearly tired since everything seemed to amuse him at some point. He seemed to realise it too because he smiled lazily:_

_"Enough for today- uh, yesterday, whatever, it's past midnight now, I don't know. I miss you so much, can't wait to see you. Love you, Tony. Love you always."_

And what if Tony actually felt his eyes water at the last few words.

 

 

 

_"Tony, oh my god. You won't believe that!"_

_Steve seemed really excited, eyes bright and face flushed, sitting cross-legged on his bed._

_"Oh, it's day twelve by the way. I didn't  have time yesterday, when they finally let me go back to my room, I got so caught up in what I was doing and when I realised I should make a quick video, it was already late enough ... I mean, you have to understand me. I discovered something totally awesome. Now I know, you'll probably be slightly pissed because you told me hundreds of time that it was super great, and I didn't want to believe you because I thought I wouldn't like it and I was kind of scared to try. Well I finally watched it. Was the only thing I could borrow from the guys, anyway, so it was either watching it or not watching anything."_

_He took a deep breath and had the decency of smiling sheepishly as he said:_

_"Supernatural."_

Tony gaped and stared blankly at the screen for a second, pressing the 'Pause' button. UGH!? So Steve had spent a few months telling him that there was no way he was watching this TV show, and now he was watching it? Without him? The  **son of a bitch.**  Rolling his eyes, he pressed play again and scowled when Steve reacted as if he had read his mind.

_On screen, Steve shrugged as if to say that it wasn't really his fault anyway and that he had to watch it sooner or later._

_"I know you've asked me so many times to watch it with you, that it'd be fun, but I was scared man! I mean, all that creepy stuff, I don't know, I thought it'd be horrible. Turns out the first episode wasn't so bad, I mean it had to be a little scary since it's the Pilot... I took a chance and started the next one. Then the next one. I definitely like the evil creatures. It's badass. Demons are fine, too. I'm not that much into the spirits stuff, but I don't mind them too much, as long as they don't, uh, appear out of the blue. People can get thrown around and bad things can happen but I definitely hate the freaking jumpscares where the spirit pops out and UHG. I can't stand that. I don't want to see their fucking faces all disgustingly creepy, it gives me the creeps. The fifth episode scared the shit out of me. Don't you dare laugh, it's not even funny, I barely made it through the episode. And I'll definitely be avoiding mirrors for a while. After watching it, I couldn't sleep at all, so I kind of, uh, watched a few more episodes until three in the morning."_

_Steve pursed his lips and threw his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees._

_"I still don't know how I feel about this show. I mean, it's great in so many ways and strangely addictive. For a couple of episodes, everything is fine and I enjoy it a lot, then one comes and scares me to death, but it's one in so many, so I keep watching it. I think I like it. A lot. I'm still at season one and I have a freaking lot to catch up on, but we should watch it together. Maybe I'll be less scared if we cuddle and I can hide my face in your neck in the worst parts... Oh. The main characters are sooo cool. The way they get on each other's nerves, but you still get that feeling that they'd do everything for the other... The whole brotherly banter, I love it."_

_His face suddenly flushed, an impish smile on his lips, he added:_

_"I would totally bang Dean..."_

Tony was somehow expecting it, still he couldn't help the smile that came so easily. Yeah. The kid totally had a crush. How cute.

_Chuckling at his own words, Steve shook his head and let go of his legs, stretching and lying on his side, facing the camera._

_"He's hot. He's hot and he's such a derp, he's the best. I think I might be falling in love..... Hahah! Naah ... It's just a little crush, s'not like I'll ever meet the guy anyway and it doesn't mean anything, really. Don't worry, I still love you and I'd totally bang you too. Hell, that's all I can think of since day ten video, when I showed you my abs. But Dean ... Yeah. You know. He's a good enough reason to watch this serie, you can't argue with me on that. Somehow, I think I'd like the brothers to go gay for each other, but I don't think that's how it works, does it?" He laughed again, still blushing at all the indecent admissions. "Well. Anyway. Now that I've told you everything, I feel better with myself." He smirked. "I can't wait to see you so we can have a super huge, never-ending marathon. With sex in between seasons. And pizza. A lot of pizza and popcorn. Sounds good? Alright, I really need to catch some sleep now that I finally think I won't get terrified the moment I turn off the lights... I love you. 'Kay, bye."_

 

 

 

_"DAY FOURTEEN" Steve all but yelled the second he started recording. He looked overly excited, like a happy puppy._

He'd be wagging its tail and drooling everywhere and Tony wouldn't be surprised. Well. Wagging its tail ... Huh. Not such a great picture in itself. Still, the man smiled fondly around a bite of his third slice of pizza. He had always loved Steve's energy. Suddenly, he realised that it was bright in Steve's room; probably the morning.

_"I'm supposed to get on a plane tonight! I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I don't even know how I'll get through the day. Sorry if I look super crazy, I don't mean to frighten you, I just love you so muuuuch and I can't wait to see you and kiss you properly, which we haven't done in a while. I swear, I hate being sick. All of this because I was sick. It sucks. I'm sorry."_

_He was running around the room in his boxers, looking for a pair of jeans and a T-shirt._

_"I'm glad it's finally over, because I was so close to just give in and jerk off like an horny teenager in front of this camera while attempting to talk dirty. Thank god. I don't even understand how such a foolish thing crossed my mind... You're a bad influence, Tony, a very bad influence. Not that I mind, but jeez..."_

Okay. Tony was so not aroused by the idea... So not ...

_Steve finally put on some clothes and settled in front of the camera._

_"I have to go now, but I'll see you very soon. I love you, Tony. I love you I love you I love you."_

 

 

Tony sat there, looking at the screen, expecting the video to be over. Obviously, Steve had decided not to take that plane for whatever reason, because he had never come back. If it had been a crash or something, he would have heard about it. If something had happened, he would have known. Either Steve didn't want him to know, or Fury had done something again, which wasn't so impossible. Especially now that Tony had seen this video. How could Steve possibly act so outrageously in love and then not get on the plane that would bring him back to the USA? If all of this was fake and he had already planned on not coming back, why bother with these videos? And what if they were real? What had happened that made him change his mind.... or kept him from coming back? 

Suddenly, interrupting his thoughts, Steve's face appeared on the screen again.

_"Day fucking twenty-two. It's been another week now. I was supposed to be with you eight days ago. They screwed me. We moved a little and I have no idea what's going on, but I didn't have access to the camera or any other stuff for a while, which explains with I didn't make a video sooner. I can't believe what's happening. When I asked them why I could not go back, they didn't say anything. Said I'd see you in time, but now there were other priorities. **Other priorities!?** They can go fuck themselves. Oh- shit, they're coming. I'll talk to you later, love ya."_

 

_"Day twenty-seven. It's been almost a month now. I think they're planning something, but I can't figure out why. I don't even know where I am, and I don't speak a single word in Russian. Not that easy for me to get some help here. I wish I could find a way to discover what's their plan and why they won't let me see you. I think Fury might be behind it, but I haven't seen him in a while. I put up a fight, two days ago. Punched a few guys, slammed a computer screen against the wall, pissed them off real bad. They're angry at me and I didn't get my usual chocolate pudding for dessert. Assholes..."_

_He rubbed at his head, clearly angry. Not for the pudding, obviously._

_"I'm locked in my room until further notice. I don't understand, Tony ... I really don't and... I wish you were here. I miss you real bad. You always seem to know what to do, or at least you figure something out, even if it's the stupidest idea ever. At least it's something. Now, I'm just helpless and I'm so afraid you'll give up on me... I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, you don't want anything to do with me anymore. That you thought I didn't want to see you again and didn't get on the plane on purpose. I'm even scared they didn't tell you at all that I was supposed to come back. I don't know what to think anymore, Tony. I love you. I hope you're still waiting for me... But at the same time, it makes me feel sick to pray for something like that, because I can't ask that from you. To wait for me like that. You have to move on with your life, and ... and what if I never come back? What if I can never see you again? I-I think I'd want you to be happy... even if that means you have to let me go and give your heart to someone else. I just... I hope this is not what's happening right now. I love you. I love you Tony. Love you forever."_

_He was crying now, silently sobbing and not doing anything to hide it._

Tony was so absorbed by the video that he hadn't noticed the way the front door open and close. He didn't notice the form leaning against the wall of the living room. Didn't notice anything except that his eyes were watering, and he bit his knuckles to keep the tears from falling. Steve... Precious Steve... This wasn't fair. He only wanted to reach into the TV, grab Steve and hug him. Pet his soft blond hair and tell him everything was going to be fine, tell him that he still loved him so much and nothing would come between them, not even Nick Fury. But he couldn't. He couldn't and now, two years later, damage was done. He could not go back and prevent this from happening... He could only ... He could only choose to believe these videos, and find Steve right now to sort this mess. He had no idea. He was so lost right now...

 

 

_"Day forty-five. I'm definitely going to kill Fury with my bare hands. I saw him today, asked what the hell was going on, if he knew how you were doing, if he had anything to do with this. He didn't say a word. Not a single word. Not even a "Fuck off, Rogers". Nothing. I'm sure it's him, and I'll kill him."_

Well, get in line...

 

_"Day fifty-one... Tony I ... I don't get it. They told me today that the reason that I couldn't see you was that you were gone. They couldn't find you anymore. You'd just vanished and they think it might have something to do with me. Tony, they said you didn't care about me anymore. That if you'd really wanted to see me, you would have burst in here even before the two first weeks were over. I-I can't help but thing that it's ... it's in fact something you would have done. And since you haven't done it, maybe you ... I ... I don't know. I don't know, okay? I don't wanna trust them, but... "_

_He was crying again._

_"I love you, Tony. I feel like I'm always saying it over and over again and I'm wasting my breath, but ... It's the only thing I'm certain of, right now. I don't know when they'll let me out of here, but they'll have to, eventually... And then I'll find you. I'll find you and make you change your mind. Make you fall in love with me again, because you'll hate my stupid 'perfection' and you'll be an ass about it, which will make me bug you about your PhDs and call you 'Doctor Stark' and it will be messed up, but it worked once and I don't believe it can't keep working. You let me in and I never planned on leaving. Damn, our first kiss was on a school trip in California, in the sea under the moonlight. Cliché much. But that's real, all of this, it's real. It can't end up like that. I won't let it."_

"But you did..." Tony murmured under his breath, tears freely rolling down his face. 

 

 _On the screen, a new video. Steve looked a little older and his voice was definitely a little lower._  

_"I stopped counting the days. It's been approximatively a year and six months. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I should have gone over the fact that it was over and I had to deal with it; it's still hard to swallow. I'm not happy, Tony. I don't know if you are, and it'd be best if you were, really, because I wouldn't wish you to feel the way I feel: distressed, lost... alone. Heartbroken. I'm not living, I'm only surviving. People keep saying time makes things better, but it doesn't. It's not true, because time destroyed our relationship and time won't ever bring it back. You were my first love, Tony, and no one can forget the first. But you were also my only, and now I'm all alone. I'm not even sure I'll ever be able to love someone like I loved you... That's a depressing thought, for a twenty-three years old. One would think that I have all my life ahead of me, but it's not worth much if you're not part of it. The only thing that keeps me alive is my job. I'm ... I'm saving people. I work with Fury, which kind of annoys me, but I don't do it for him, I don't even do it for me ... I do it for all the people that need help. If I can change people's life for the better... I guess that'd make me happy. I really hope you're doing good, Tony, because you're the best and you deserve it. I won't hate on you because of your choices. I have no right. I just wish you the best..."_

_He swallowed with obvious difficulty, blinking a few time to chase away the tears invading his baby blue eyes._

_"Love you, Tony ... I'm sorry."_

 

 

And that was it. The screen faded to black and Tony was left there, crying like a baby. 

"That's bullshit ... That's bullshit, I never would have left you baby ... " he almost choked on the words, burying his face in his hands, "I'd do anything to go back in time and make things right... I love you so much, so so much... Love you always..." 

He was startled when he suddenly felt big, strong arms around him, but he instantly felt safe. The warmth coming from the strong body behind him felt good and he leaned back against the broad chest without thinking any further, groaning at the pain in his body when he shifted a little, turning around so he could grab at the soft blond hair and press his face against the firm shoulder. The arms around him tightened their hold and a sob escaped his lips at the unexpected sensation of comfort and love that overwhelmed him suddenly. Nothing to help him stop crying, really. Forcing his eyes open to look at the most beautiful face in the world, he met the shining blue of Steve's eyes and wiped away the unique tear running down his face. A grimaced smile, as he murmured:

"One Perfect Tear..."

Steve let out a little laugh that ended in a sob.

"I still think Dean is pretty hot ... You might have to fight for what's yours, before he wins my heart..."

Tony couldn't resist anymore; he pressed his lips against the blond's. A single, soft and chaste peck on the lips, before he pulled back and found his place in the crook of Steve's neck.

"I have plenty of time to convince you that I'm better than this son of a bitch. 'Cause I'm never letting you go again."

"Sounds like a plan..."

 

There would be time for further talk, there would be time for explanations. There would be time for dates and cuddling and slowly catching up on what they had missed. There would be time for hot, mind-blowing sex and sweet promises. There would be time for their love to shine and become stronger than everything.

There would be time. 

But right now that simple hug meant the world, and even more.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After yet another long time without posting (which I'm sorry for ... again)  
> MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL <3 
> 
> There is one chapter left, an epilogue, to this story to wrap things up and give you the fluffy ending you must have hoped for since things started to go wrong. It should be up around New Year hopefully. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much, this story wouldn't be anything without you.

The following morning was awkward.

No matter how hard you try, you can't act as if nothing had happened after spending such a long time thinking your boyfriend was dead. When Tony woke up, he was frightened for a minute, vision blurry with sleep and head spinning, his body jerking to fight against the arm holding him tightly. The harsh motion made the blond whine under him and, oops, that was Steve. No bad guy in the place to kidnap him, apparently. Tony gulped as he felt his cheeks grow warm, gosh no, he was not going to blush, no way. He grabbed Steve's hand now clutching his left pectoral and moved it lower to his belly, hoping he hadn't felt his racing heart and wouldn't notice the way he practically got scared as fuck for a second. 

... Steve didn't move for the following minutes, breath even, features soft and calm with sleep. _Good boy._  He suddenly shifted a little and his hold on Tony became even tighter if possible, drawing a shuddering pant from the older man at the pain striking from his broken ribs.  _Good boy my ass!_

"Steve, you freaking huge gummy bear..." 

It didn't feel wrong to call him names, whatever names, the habit easily kicking back in. No, what felt wrong was the whole situation in itself, leaving Tony with an odd and disturbing feeling while he would have preffered only happiness and love. It was as if his brain didn't want to fully acknowledge that Steve was alive and here with him; a way of protecting himself, probably. It would surely go away as time would pass, right? Right now, he just needed him to move a little, and frankly, he didn't go gentle with Steve. He pulled at his arms, smiled at the grunt he got in answer, and breathed when the pressure eased out off his injured body and Steve finally moved again while letting go of him. The new angle was awkward. He was feeling something he definitely wasn't comfortable with feeling right now.  _Oh man. That was probably worse._  

"Well, I still can make the kid horny..."

Not comforting enough. He had to stand up. 

He untangled himself from Steve's limbs and got to his feet, walking out of the living room. It felt odd. It didn't feel right. 

He was sitting at the counter with his second cup of coffee when some movement came from the living room and Steve appeared, still fully clothed and thankfully not sporting this huge hard on anymore. When he saw Tony, he gave an easy little smile and rubbed at his hair with one hand. Oddly enough, it took everything for Tony to smile back. He was too busy openly staring at Steve to really take in anything else at the moment. The boy was all grown-up, sharp jaw and piercing blue eyes, confidence emanating from his whole being in a way it had never before. This cute look about him wasn't gone, Tony could still feel this soft and adorable side to the guy, but there was something new going on there, something more. Steve had found his way and he looked incredibly good with that new manly confident touch to his aura. 

"Want some coffee?" he finally asked, because what else could he say?

Steve nodded and came to sit by him, grabbing the cup Tony handed him. He murmured a simple 'Thanks' and they both fell silent again for a while, until Steve sighed and murmured:

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't."

"Tony..."

"Don't. Please."

Tony gulped down the rest of his coffee and poured himself a third cup. He needed more if he were to do this.

"I don't want you to apologize for something that wasn't under your control. I don't want you to tell me how much you've missed me and how you hate Fury for being such an ass. What's done is done and we definitely can't go back to change anything. I ... Thank you for the videos. They make things different."

He raised his head to look right at Steve, who's blue eyes kept looking back at him with expectation. He was waiting for more, but when nothing else came, he blurted out:

"So what now?"

"What now... ?" 

Tony had no idea. 

"Now, we just give ourselves some time... " he finally whispered.

Steve actually laughed at that. A small, cute laugh, his eyes bright.

"Makes sense. I see you finally got all grown-up and mature?"

"Oh, don't get your hopes up, that was a one-time thing!"

They exchanged a little smile and went back to drinking their coffee in a silence that was now more comfortable. It lasted for a while, as if neither of them knew what to say to break it; or maybe they just didn't feel like it, a little scared of facing the reality just yet. Finally, Steve looked up.

"How are you feeling?"

Tony rolled his eyes and slightly punched the man's shoulder. 

"A little sore. I see you're doing great yourself, now not only do you have concrete pecs, but you 'can resist to explosions' ? And to the cold, in fact. And to hunger."

"Let's just say that I'm ... stronger than most people."

Tony snorted and gulped down the rest of his coffee. It was still so weird to him that he had been working with Steve for a few days and had no idea at all. Of course, the fact that they couldn't immediately get along was maybe telling, but Tony didn't usually get along with people that much so how could he have known? Shrugging and then wincing at the pain shooting through his body, he stood up.

"II see that being a lab rat had some perks."

Oh, wrong move. Steve's face suddenly darkened and he stood up to his full height.

"Oh trust me, I never asked for that."

Tony had the decency to back off a little, raising both hands, palms to Steve.

"Hey there soldier, I didn't-"

"I never wanted to be this sick and need these injections to stay alive. I never wanted to become a hero. I was, and still am, just a normal kid from Brooklyn. Thing is now I'm strong and built and tall and people expect a lot from me; I gotta save the world. I can't just go to school, get my art degree and draw a bit for a living. I became someone that I never asked or wanted to be, and yes, yes, saving people is an amazing thing, but ... this is not what I expected for myself. This is not the kind of life I'd thought about."

Steve took the few steps between them and suddenly he was close, oh so close.

"I never wanted to stay away from you for so long. All I wanted was to come back to you and just be with you. Be happy with you. Love you to the moon and back. I never got the chance to. They took something from me, something that nothing could replace, and I never truly got it back. There are very few perks to what happened to me, Anthony. 

Oh, he had screwed up. When someone used his full first name, it never was a good sign.

"But you're alive."

"Barely."

Ouch. Tony closed his eyes and leaned back against the counter behind him. Steve thankfully didn't push closer and Tony was grateful for it, because he wasn't sure how he would have reacted. It already was shocking enough to have Steve there in the kitchen, he definitely couldn't handle proximity, less too much touching right now. He also felt uncomfortable being cornered like this and, let's say it, he felt awful for what he'd said this instant. Letting out a shaky breath, he opened his eyes again to meet the soft blue of Steve's ones. All traces of anger were gone and the blond was simply standing there, his expression unreadable, but clearly not angry. Tony suddenly realised he had been worrying his lower lip and flicked his tongue against it before whispering:

"I'm sorry."

What for? For everything. For believing that he was dead without going there by himself to see for himself. For not saving him, two years ago. For being an ass right now.

Steve rolled his eyes and pulled back. Just two or three steps, but he suddenly seemed so far that it made Tony ache.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. Let's stop being sorry for ourselves, it won't take us anywhere."

"Steve... "

He froze the moment the name passed his lips. He hadn't meant to say anything, hadn't meant for it to sound so desperate. He blinked a few times, felt the heat evade his body when the man took the few steps back to him, raising an eyebrow. Shit. He had to say something. He didn't trust himself to do so. Not right now, not with Steve intensely looking at him. He could smell him; good. Too good. Could see the muscles ripple under his thin shirt as he moved. He couldn't breathe.

"I ... I missed you."

Not bad. Voice steady enough. It still made Steve smile and he reached for him, his hand cupping his face. For a moment, Tony expected him to lean down and kiss him. It turned him on as much as it scared him; it was too soon. He wanted it so bad. Steve's fingers were warm against his skin, gently rubbing his stubble. His thumb came to caress his lower lip and Tony darted his tongue on an impulse, licking at the soft skin while staring right at the blond. Steve didn't flinch, but he slowly pulled back.

"I missed you too."

And with that, he turned around, grabbed his cup of coffee and went to the living room. Tony was left there, shaken and slightly panting.

 

 

Seducing Steve became an obsession.

Thing is, Tony wasn't exactly sure that he wanted to take things further with the blond. It felt good to have him there, of course it did, and he was glad he was back. They talked for hours and watched movies and tv shows. They would have dinner together and work together on some stuff Fury would want them to do. While it still was strictly platonic, it felt amazing. Steve had wanted to find himself a new apartment at first, but Tony had soon convinced him that it was fine if he wanted to stay. The place was big enough for two and Einstein was in love with Steve anyway so ... Yeah. That was good enough a reason. So Steve had stayed. Things were good. They were good, but a part of Tony wanted more. A lot more in fact, and that simple fact scared him a bit. He felt odd when they touched by accident, the heat in his belly when Steve would give him a particularly beautiful smile made him feel weird ... But he desperately craved it. 

He wasn't really thinking straight. Maybe he was scared to lose the man again, maybe he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about the blond... 

He didn't know. 

He still wanted to be desired. To ignite a fire deep in Steve and fuel his fantasies.

_He was going crazy._

 

 

It wasn't really fair of him, but he couldn't help it. 

He listened for the steps in the hallway and then heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. 

"You called for me?"

"Yeah, come on in. Please."

There was a slight hesitation on Steve's side.

"You decent in there?"

"Yeah yeah, that's not a problem."

The door then gently opened to reveal the blond, whose eyes grew slightly bigger at the sight. Well, Tony hadn't been completely lying, but clearly he wasn't really what one would call decent. The shower curtain sure was wrapped around his waist, but it did little to hide what was hidden under the fabric. If anything, it only was blurred, but still way too defined. Tony didn't seem to mind, though. He ran a hand through his wet hair.

"There's something that feels funny in my reactor. I think something's moved, I need your help."

Ah, get Steve to help, the best way to trick him into doing something. The guy had trouble leaving people in need. Walking closer, he kept his eyes in Tony's, but the genius knew the impulse to look further down must be strong. He simply smiled.

"Alright, just ease it out... Yeah, like that. Good. Now take a look. See the little bronze wire?"

Steve, the reactor carefully held in one hand, then placed the other one on Tony's pectoral to peek inside the hole in his chest. If he noticed the shiver that went through the man, he didn't say a thing.

"Yep."

"Grab it. Move it gently. Don't pull too hard. Don't touch anything else."

Oh yeah, easier said than done. With two fingers, Steve went for the wire that was thankfully not too deep in Tony's chest. Not really knowing what he had to do with it, he moved it a bit, careful not to do anything wrong. Suddenly, a click, followed by Tony's growl. Instantly, he looked up in time to see the man smile at him.

"Now that feels better. It was poking at some sensitive flesh in there... "

Steve snorted and put the reactor back in place, eyes desesperately staring at Tony's chest. His hands lingered on his skin for maybe a second too long before he took a few steps back.

"Was that all?"

"Yeah, thanks."

And Steve, oh precious Steve, didn't ask if all of this could have waited after Tony's shower. Didn't say anything at all, just shrugged and gave Tony a little smile before leaving. 

One step closer.

 

Ater that, Tony didn't really care about wandering around half-naked. It was as if some barrier was down. Steve seemed more at ease, so the genius went with it. He didn't say a thing when he caught him watch, let him take in the sight. After a while, Steve started to come for breakfast in only his underwear. They were clearly more at ease. The younger man never talked about the reactor episode again, but when Tony called him from the bathroom, he didn't bother asking if he was decent anymore. He would just come in and hand the older man some soap or whatever it was he wanted. And he always seemed to want something.

One peculiar night, it was Steve's turn to call his name. 

Tony found him in his room, lying on the huge king bed. The white sheet was pulled up to his waist and he was shirtless, but Tony gulped as he thought that maybe, just maybe, he was completely naked under this thin cotton sheet. He looked like some kind of greek god (way, way too good) and was giving him a smile that the genius couldn't quite decipher. Mostly out of curiosity- and a little because a naked Steve was really appealing -Tony closed the door and walked the few steps towards the bed. 

"My back hurts."

Tony raised an eyebrow at that. Steve's back was hurting? Pretty sure that wasn't possible. Maybe the blond could feel the pull in his muscles after a pretty intense fight, but not to the point where it  _hurt,_ he bet. And certainly not after doing ... nothing special. Nah.

"Sure, and I'm Santa Claus."

Steve snorted, but didn't move and stared right at him with his puppy eyes.

"What do you want, Steve?"

"C'mon. It really does hurt... " and with that, he rolled his shoulders a bit, and winced just for the fun of it.

His expression suddenly changed when Tony climbed on him without any warning and sat on his ass, both knees straddling him. The man actually smiled at the slightly surprised look on Steve's face, watching it turn slowly into a grin as he rested his head back against his crossed arms on the pillow. Without another word being said, Tony pressed his hands on Steve's back and took his sweet time to drag this fingertips across the warm skin in a gentle caress. Shivers. Goosebumps. He smiled to himself and started working on the muscles of one shoulder. Firm, strong and pretty impressive. There weren't many knots to undo, but he still pressed his thumbs into the flesh and rubbed as firmly as he could. Steve was relaxing under him, slumping into the bed a little more each time. At this moment, it felt real. It felt good.

Tony hadn't felt this good in a long time, in fact. Fighting the urge to lean closer was pointless and he let himself feel this moment to its fullest, leaning forward so he could lie on Steve and bring his head closer to his. Burying his fingers in the short hair on Steve's nape, he sighed and closed his eyes. For a long time, he didn't move, enjoying the slow and steady rise and fall of Steve's chest as he breathed, the soft sound oddly comforting. 

"Steve... Are we ever gonna be okay?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

Tony sighed and rolled over on the bed so he could lie on his side and face Steve. There was something sad in the blue eyes, maybe a hint of fear there too.

"I don't know, you tell me... " 

Steve looked at him for a few seconds, then leaned closer and suddenly, before Tony could even think of stopping him, his lips were on his and all thoughts vanished from his mind. He instantly closed his eyes and cupped Steve's face, leaning into the soft touch that soon became heated. Their tongues met and started a slow dance, as Steve gently grabbed Tony by the hips and urged him closer. They kissed for a while, hands rediscovering each other's body, brushing against skin. Tony didn't wait long to sneak a hand under the sheet, to discover whether Steve was completely naked or not.

He was.

Not that Tony minded, actually. As for himself, he still was fully too clothed.

He rushed through the next step, taking his clothes off at the speed of light, leaving Steve a little taken aback and definitely panting. He could feel his eyes on him and smiled to himself, making a show out of stripping to his briefs. Only then, he climbed back on the bed and over the blond, pressing his body to his.

"It's been way too long... "

Steve tried to shut him up by pressing his lips to his, but Tony then gently pulled back and let his lips wander to the man's throat, biting at his pulse point.

"I've missed this so much..."

"Don't talk."

"We could take it slow ... but I don't wanna do slow. I wanna do fast and hard and intense."

Steve gulped at that, and Tony could see that his eyes had darkened. Judging by the way he clung to the genius' hips, fingers digging in the flesh, he wasn't against the idea.

"Then we do it again nice and slow and steady."

"Tony..." 

That was a pure growl. The man chuckled and rolled on his back, letting Steve take the upper hand. 

 

 

He was lying on his side, spooning with Steve. He was surrounded by the man. His smell, his arms around him, he could feel the guy  _in_ him and gosh, he had missed it so much. Not only the sex, but just having the blond there with him, pressed close enough that he could feel his body heat and listen to his steady heartbeat. He rubbed at Steve's arm with a smile, moving in time with him as the younger man gently thrust his hips up. He himself rolled his hips and sighed softly- what came from Steve was more of a groan. Tony took a deep breath.

"I love you."

A new thrust, and Steve pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder.

"I love you too. So much. I love you."

Slow and steady after fast and hard.

Just like their love.

They had fallen in love suddenly, without expecting it. Fast and hard. It'd been intense at first, unique and overwhelming. He'd loved Steve with all his heart, intensely, so much it almost hurt. He didn't even know how to cope with this huge feeling, it was so much all at once and still, he never wanted it to end. But then, things had slowly calmed down. It still was powerful, but it was slower. Calmer. It was better, in a way. They had fallen in a nice routine, waking up together and going to bed together, spending every little moment of the day together in a way that made Tony feel right. Steve was the one and only. Steve was the best. Tony loved him so much, and Steve loved him back as much, that he knew, he had no doubt. These two years spent without the other one had been the worst, but it was finally over. They were together again, no matter what, and if Steve said that they would be OK, then they would. They would. Tony believed him. 

Soon enough ...

They would.


End file.
